“That show was awful,” Karen rolled her eyes getting into their shared bed, the city lights dancing against the hotels’ blank walls. 

“We only saw the second act!” Jim laughed, slipped off his button down, and glancing in the mirror at this new Jim. His hair felt weird, he kept feeling phantom bangs the entire day, and his neck was irritated from the clean shave. I guess it’s for the best,<I> he thought to himself, and moved under the covers. 

“It’s beautiful here isn’t it?” She pulled herself close to his warm frame, an arm draping over his stomach. 

“Mmm,” he mumbled, trying to close his eyes, the nerves about tomorrow’s interview beginning to creep up into his stomach. it’s loud here his mind drifted to the honking and sirens coming from just below the hotel. Granted, they were staying in midtown, but he was not a city boy. He had no idea how to get around, and frankly from the moment the left their hotel he’d felt anxiety. He chalked it up to the interview and everything that rested on a potential major promotion, but in reality it was New York. 

He remembered a trip into the city with his father when he was a child. He loved seeing the dinosaurs at the national history museum, but once, just once, he found himself lost. He’d gotten distracted by an exhibit down the hall on mummies, and mentioning to his Dad he’d be right back, there had been a miscommunication and within minutes they’d become separated on a busy Saturday afternoon. 

His father insisted they’d only separated from each other a total of 7 minutes, but it felt as though he’d been running between exhibits for hours. His cheeks burned with tears, afraid to call out “Dad” too many times. He’d been warned about strangers, especially in the city, and so he just continued to look for his father behind every corner. When he finally was reunited, finding his equally distressed Dad talking to a security guard, he wrapped his arms around his waist as tightly as he could. 

He wouldn’t go back to the city for two years after that, it took a lot of coaxing and a lesson in how brave he really was. After all, he did call 9-1-1 when his brother fell out of their treehouse and broke his arm. He even stayed calm while they waited for their parents to return home and the ambulance to come, and he hadn’t made fun of his bigger brother for crying when he was in so much pain. The truth was, he didn’t want to ever see anyone in that much pain again. 

But Jim was older now, and no amount of coaxing could convince him that he was ready for this promotion, ready for this potential move to the city, or ready for this commitment with Karen. He glanced over at her, she was already asleep, her dark hair strewn across her face. His phone was plugged in on the side table in the room. He grabbed it quietly, and moved Karen’s arm off of his stomach, moving toward the bathroom.  He slipped the door shut, turned on the light and locked it. 

He wondered if she’d respond, he’d just showed her how to even look at her text messages a few months prior. Despite his sincere doubt to get a response at 1:00am, he typed anyway. 

I doubt you’re going to even see this, but are you awake? 

You’ve got no faith in my abilities, these cost me ten cents each. You better be dying ;) 

LOL not dying, just…thinking  

There was a break for a few moments and he caught himself holding his breath, he let out a sigh when he got a message back. 

you’re going to be great tomorrow. Don’t even sweat it, everyone loves you<I> 

His face turned up in a smile, he’d now taken a seat on the side of the large bathtub. 

I don’t know, I did kick Wallace’s ass in b-ball in his own home a few weeks ago

;) I promise, you have nothing to worry about

He flipped the small silver Motorola razr shut, and rubbed his eyes with exhaustion. She always knew the right thing to say, when he’d asked Karen earlier how to calm his nerves, she told him he shouldn’t worry because she was going to get the position. Although he enjoyed the banter between them, sometimes he just needed her to be serious with him, if only for a moment. 

When he returned into the bedroom, Karen had turned on her side and was facing the window. He sighed with relief. She scared him. Karen was seven minutes. Karen was seven minutes of absolute panic that something awful was happening. She was seven minutes of feeling as though things would end terribly. She was seven minutes of being in rooms filled with sarcophagus’ with dimly lit lighting that cast shadows on the walls that scared him. Commitment is scary, right? He was supposed to feel this way, it was normal<I>. 

But then there was light. Or Pam, or both. There was the empty parking lot where he was ready to sweep her into his arms, carry her into his Saab and drive her to the nearest chapel and get married. Her smile was as strong as his fathers embrace. Her hair was warm and soft and reminded him of safety as he held his fathers hand for the rest of the day. She was the breeze flipping through his shaggy hair as he ate an ice cream in the park that afternoon. She was the nap on the train ride home, calm, quiet, snug and tucked in, holding him ever so close to her. 

He looked to the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was blinking 3:04 at him. He blinked his eyes trying to remember the last couple of hours but his feet were weary in need of rest and still planted to the carpeted floor near the bed. He gave a glance at Karen, grabbed the pillow from his side of the bed, and curled onto the far too short couch in the room. In the morning, he’d tell her it was because he couldn’t get tired so he’d moved to the couch to watch television. Right now, he held his pillow close to his chest, turned into the couch itself, and felt it close around him, protecting him, until his eyelids couldn’t stay open any more. 

The phone lit up hours after he’d fallen asleep and he wouldn’t see it until much later, 

I wish you were here, I can’t sleep. There’s a documentary on tv about the Jurassic period. I thought of your trips to the museum. Sleep tight