“You could give me chills on a summer day, yeah”
Scranton, PA, Summer of 2007
With sweaty palms, Jim Halpert paces back and forth adjacent to the steps toward a house—a house that is not his own.
He’s done this a hundred times already this summer: Walk up to her porch, ring her doorbell, and bring her into his arms before she pulls him inside of her house and her lips crash upon his.
But this time? This time feels different.
His plan, if he gets his nerves in check, is to drive her to his favorite restaurant in town, where she’ll meet his parents for the first time. As nerve-racking as that sounds, Jim’s confident that they love her already. With the way he’s spoken about Pam for basically almost a decade, he knows his parents (specifically his mother) will find every reason to love her in person. Finally.
He knows there’s nothing to worry about yet feels the weight of the world resting on his shoulders like he’s Superman holding up the Daily Planet globe. Yet, if Pam is his Lois Lane, getting every opportunity to save and cherish her? It’s worth it.
Gaining confidence, he makes his first steps up the stairs toward her porch. He takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell, smiling upon hearing a faint “be right there” from the other side of her door.
His eyes widen as the door opens to his girlfriend (a term he still cannot believe he gets to use with her), clad in a dress that he’s sure she’s never worn in front of him before, that he can’t stop staring at. The flowy, light pink fabric that sits atop every perfect curve of her body has him wanting to pinch himself, to wake him from the daydream he believes he’s currently lost in. But yet, he’s here: staring back at the woman he dreamed of calling his forever, dressed like this for him.
He has a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach, the same one he felt on his first day of work upon meeting her or on that one night where they shared their first kiss this time a year ago. Or, most recently, when he found the note she hid in his folder during his interview for the corporate position when he realized he couldn’t let her go. Again.
“I-” he mutters, unable to speak as his eyes continue to roam up and down her body as he attempts to stop his teeth from biting the inside of his lip.
“What?” she smiles, her eyes glistening as she moves a piece of her hair back-between her ear. Doing that thing where she bites down on her lower lip while smiling, she continues to question Jim. “Why are you staring at me like that?” she playfully asks, attempting to hide a slight chuckle.
“God, Pam,” he starts, walking toward her with a smirk on his face. “You look-” he pauses as he is up-and-close with her, placing his hand on her cheek and tipping her head upward toward him. “So gorgeous,” he whispers, locking his lips with hers quickly before letting go to allow her to close her front door and walk to his car hand-in-hand. She, blushing the entire walk.
He’s never told her when she'd made him feel this way: the warm, fuzzy feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach. He always fears that it wouldn’t be as special of a moment for him if he were ever to tell her. So, he keeps it to himself, promising himself to one day be able to tell her of this.
“You don’t clean up bad yourself, Mr. Halpert,” she jests as he opens the passenger seat door for her of his Saab. “We must be going somewhere special tonight, huh?”
“Y-yeah, we are,” he responds, smiling as he shuts her door and gets into the driver’s seat. He’s giddy; the nerves are completely gone now that he has her here, with him, about to partake in a vital element of a serious relationship. Here, happy. He is ready for his family to finally see, hear, and feel what he does whenever he’s with Pam and talks about her…
As he pulls their car out of park and pulls out onto the road, he can’t contain how much he feels that feeling in his stomach for her and has to tell her at least something.
Smiling over to her, she mirrors his as a blush creeps up her cheeks, as he admits to her: “I love you so much, Beesly.”
“When we're layin' still but you make my heart race”
Great Meadows, NJ, August of 2008
Alright, Jim. You can do this; he thinks to himself as he pulls into the parking lot of the Fairview gas station. He sees her standing there, hiding from the rain under the gas pump area, waiting for him and him only.
He’s missed her, incredibly too much within these past few weeks more than ever, too much within the time she’s been away in Brooklyn. He craved seeing her, and with needing to cancel their plans tonight for his nephew’s little league game, this was the only solution he could come up with.
But one that fits them well.
His co-worker had thwarted his previous plan to do this during Toby’s goodbye party back in May. He had it all planned out, for it being as spontaneous as it was: between fireworks to remind her of their first date and music played by Darryl and his band, Jim was going to get on one knee and pop the question. Yet, Andy had a similar spontaneous idea; one Jim did not want to imitate once it had been done.
And, even after talking it over with Pam before she left for Pratt, part of him wanted to still make their love official, still prove to her that he’s in it for the long run, a term that stuck with Jim for the past year.
So, here he is, getting out of his car at a gas station somewhat equidistant between Scranton and Brooklyn, with every intention of finally asking Pam something he’s been wanting to do for so long now.
“Hey, this is not halfway!” he hears Pam yell over the rush of the rain pouring down behind them both as Jim ran from his car with his coat above his head. “I did the math; I had to drive way longer than you.”
That was the last statement Jim could comprehend, with his eyes lost inside of hers for the first time in about two weeks. She constantly captivates him as he melts into a puddle at the first chance he sees her. As she continues to speak, he’s lost in the thought of her: the idea of her walking down the aisle to him, of her in a beautiful, white dress, becoming his forever, starting a family, growing old together. Things that, although he’s thought of, dreamt of, over and over again, feels so close that he could taste it.
So, he was going to make it his reality finally.
He dropped his work jacket in his left hand to the ground as he got down onto his left knee, removing the ring box from his right pocket. His eyes, full of utter love and some fear.
“What are you doing?” Pam asks him as he tries to hide a smile from forming on his face. She, looking down at him, her eyes speak shock and possible excitement.
“I just—I can’t wait,” Jim responds, beginning to allow a small smile to break through while opening the ring box to reveal the shiny, gorgeous piece of jewelry that Jim hopes and prays that Pam will wear for the rest of her life.
The reality of the situation finally hits Pam, and her shock mixes with happiness. “Oh my god,” she blurts out.
Taking a deep breath, he finally asks the question he has been waiting months, years to ask her. “Pam, will you marry me?”
“Oh my god!” She states, her face brightening up into the largest smile he has seen on her in the entirety of their friendship, relationship. Her smile causes Jim to smile, his love for her written entirely over his face.
“So?” He asks, regardless of if her face gives her answer away already. He wants to hear her answer to make sure he’s far from “misinterpreting” her.
She nods her head in utter ecstasy before answering with a yes, and Jim’s lips autonomously meeting hers.
Pam said yes, PAM SAID YES! Jim thinks to himself as he smiles against her soft lips in sheer love and affection. Her smile continues against his own lips as he begins to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling hitting his stomach he’s felt multiple times in his relationship with her. The warm, fuzzy feeling that he loves, yearns for when it comes to Pam. One he’s grateful to have with her, that he could never have with any other woman.
But at the same time, mixed with a fiery heat brewing as his lips continue to connect with hers. He wants her; he wants his fiancée in the way he and he only is allowed to have her. His lips sneak past her lips, deepening their kiss while he pulls her closer toward him. With his hand resting on the arch of her lower back, he hopes she can feel what his love for her feels like against her.
She breaks their kiss upon the sound of thunder behind them. Staring up at him, her smile warm and bright, she finally speaks. “If you keep this up, I guarantee you we’d be quite a spectacle for people pumping their gas.”
He chuckles, with her body still pressed up against his and the thought of ravishing his love, here and now in public, brewing in his mind. Yet, she has a point. Quickly remembering that the camera crew had not followed him out of their office building, Jim proposes a solution. “My car or yours?”
Smirking, Pam responds. “Yours. Then we’ll be even for my longer distanced drive,” she whispers, removing herself from Jim’s arms, but finding his hand quickly to hold it. They rush into his car and drive down the road to an empty cul-de-sac, where they make good on that fiery heat brewing between the two of them. And, that warm, fuzzy feeling returning with her in his arms in front of him, as they both fixate on the sparkling gem on her left hand.
You did it, Jim, he says to himself. You’re going to make her your wife. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he whispers to her the words he could tell her forever and never tire of: “I love you so much, Beesly….”
“I still fall in love with you every time I see your eyes”
Margaretville, NY, May of 2009
Jim’s a complete and nervous wreck. Not only was he in a town in New York state that he had not been to before, but he’s also found himself in the ER of a hospital in a town in New York state that he had not been to before.
They were in New York state for a reason: this was the location chosen for this year’s company picnic for Dunder Mifflin. But why is Jim in the ER? Because his fiancée slipped and hurt her ankle while “kicking ass” in the Scranton branch versus the Corporate branch volleyball game.
He’s panicking, praying to every deity possible that Pam is okay, that she’s not hurt, that she’s able to walk on her right foot, and (unfortunately, the most crucial part to Jim at the current moment) that they would be back in time to complete their match and win the volleyball game.
With her having X-rays done of her ankle, he’s been on the phone with Dwight, reassuring him that they would be back in time to complete their match and win for the Scranton branch.
Now, she is back from having X-rays done (quicker than he had ever seen someone have x-rays taken and completed), is seated in a room next to a nervous Jim.
“Wait, they didn’t take your X-rays yet?” he nervously asks, in confusion.
“No, I guess the nurse didn’t trust me when asking me the typical questions for it and made me take a urine test,” she answered, aggravated. “I guess they need to test it before I take the x-rays? I don’t know. But we sure as shit need to get back to the picnic.”
Just as the doctor entered her room, Jim received a call from Dwight, who needed an answer as to if they could continue the game or put the subs in to continue it for them. He hung up as fast as he could before the doctor could tell them any information.
“So I have some good news and some bad news for you, Ms. Beesly,” the doctor begins. “I’ll start with the good news. By just the look of the swelling, it seems as though the ankle is merely sprained. Now for the bad news. We’re unable to take any x-rays of your ankle at this time, and that’s because your urine culture came back positive. Congratulations!” He spoke in a very calming matter as he looked at his paperwork until congratulating them.
Where Pam realized quicker than Jim had what a positive result meant in this term. As her face lit up, it became clear to Jim what the doctor was trying to tell them.
Automatically, as he looked into her eyes as she shook her head, attempting to tell him she “didn’t know” about this being a possibility, he hugged her. He pulled her into his arms in pure happiness, utter love, and excitement. Within the minute or so, his entire world lightened around her, around him. Around them both.
Pam’s pregnant. She’s having a baby. She’s having their baby.
Kissing her cheek, he leans his nose onto hers, feeling that warm, fuzzy feeling he always feels when it comes to Pam. And now, will feel that way about their little bean growing inside of her as well. He felt so lucky and will never want this feeling to go away.
“Um, so what should we do about the game?” she breaks their silence, reminding him that they were leaving their co-workers in limbo about the volleyball game. “I-I kind of don’t want to go back. Could we find somewhere to go, just you and I?” She smiles.
“Yeah, are-are you okay if I go call Dwight?” Jim responds, still excited.
“Yeah, yeah, please go tell them to play without us!” she exclaims, motioning his hands to go out into the hallway and call Dwight.
He does as she says, calling Dwight back and telling him to “send in the subs” as his voice cracks, attempting not to reveal to Dwight that his entire world was turned upside down a few minutes ago. Hanging up the phone, he proceeds to run back into the hospital room, hugging his future wife.
Jim can’t believe it: he’s engaged to the love of his life, and they’re now expecting. Sure, it may not be in the order they planned it, but they’re happy. And, is that what matters?
Kissing her on the forehead before looking deep into her eyes, he gets lost in them, as he tells her: “I love you so much, Beesly.”
their own, little almost-Halpert family bubble.
Niagara Falls, NY, October of 2009.
She called him in a panic, a mere hour and a half before their ceremony was to start. He was outside when she called him, calming his nerves by playing soccer with their ring bearer outside the venue. The moment she called him to come to see her, regardless of the “bad luck” they could gain from him seeing her in her dress before the ceremony started, he ran inside.
And after seeing her, sat on the Sunday school piano in her gorgeous wedding dress, he was left speechless for a few seconds as he walked in before she spoke. She was upset: saddened over her parents’ constant bickering, annoyed over spending the night before their wedding in the hospital with Andy and her torn veil. The latter leading Jim to cut his tie and call them “even.”
And, upon learning that she was unhappy with the number of guests here for their wedding, he knew that his backup plan would solve all of their problems.
So, they took off. Grabbing a cab toward the state park, presenting their passports and where they are now, boarding onto the Maid of the Mist.
Jim had this backup plan set since the night before they left for Niagara; he had a sneaky suspicion that regardless of the chat they planned to have with their co-workers before leaving, that somehow they wouldn’t listen and find a way to affect their big day. In a significant way.
So, after some research, Jim figured maybe this could be an option? All they would need would be their passports, enough money to pay the fare, and to notify the captain of their intentions.
Which they have done two of the three for. Now, with the ride taking off, Jim and Pam find themselves at the vessel's bow. The Niagara River is utterly breathtaking, with they having a fantastic view of the more minor falls to their sides. Regardless of the sights surrounding them, his focus is on the company he has in front of him.
He’s been dreaming of this day for the past two years, basically: the day he would make Pam his own, share his last name with her, and start their lives together as husband and wife. And, regardless of how untraditional their wedding day is going so far, it’s everything he’s ever wished for and more.
About seven minutes into the ride, they find themselves toward the helm of the ship, banging on the glass window to notify the captain of the ceremony they are here to have. And, within two more minutes, the captain meets them at the bow of the boat again, beginning their small, intimate ceremony.
Jim begins to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach, which he’s felt repeatedly with Pam, the same one he felt upon proposing to her, finding out they were expecting their first child. He begins his vows to Pam, promising to love her forever, to cherish every moment they have together, to be the best husband and father to their future children he could ever be, as he slides her wedding band up her left ring finger.
She does the same, promising to love him forever, to be the best wife and mother to their future children as well, and to thank her lucky stars that she came to her senses, to fall in love with him and find her soulmate.
And, within mere seconds, the captain pronounces them husband and wife, they both opting for pecks on the cheek so they could save their grandiose first kiss as husband and wife for the ceremony they left back at the church.
This? This was just for them. A moment they could keep for themselves during this entire wedding process. A moment they and only they could cherish throughout this whole weekend. This was theirs that no one could take away.
The ride had a short time left, but neither he nor she cared at this point. They were in their bubble of married bliss, watching as the falls dissipate into the foggy background. Soaked from the mist, Jim watches as his now-wife lays her head on his shoulder, smiling in utter glee. They were finally married, and they did it in a way that made them happy.
That wave of fuzzy feeling splashes over him again, as he places his lips against her forehead. Sure, their time alone here will be ended by the end of their ride, and they’ll have to face the reality of their church ceremony and the now-angry guests in attendance. But, for right now? This is alright. This is what matters to Jim.
He places one last kiss on her forehead before looking her in the eyes and addressing his wife, “God, I love you, Beesly.”
“You mean, Mrs. Halpert?” she retorts, smiling up at him.
“Nah, you’ll always be Beesly to me.”
“I swear it only makes me love you more”
“Oh my god, look at her! Pam, she’s so beautiful!” Jim announced as Pam somewhat “relaxes” for the first time in nineteen-or-twenty hours. It was a long, painful delivery, but their daughter’s finally here. She’s everything Jim hoped she would be, and then some, for the short time he’s known her already.
After they were given the clear from her OB and the nurses, Jim sat behind Pam on the hospital bed, they both holding their precious daughter in their hands.
“You know, we haven’t given her a name yet,” Pam announces, still in utter awe of the amazing person she had brought into this world. “I know we have a good list of names, but I’m not sure if any of them fit her.”
“I know,” Jim starts. “I’m not sure if Emma or Isabella fits her as much as we were hoping they would.” He watches as their daughter wraps her tiny little hand around his pointer finger, trying to find a name that would fit her well.
“Well,” Pam begins. “My grandmother’s name is Sylvia, but that doesn’t fit her at all.”
“My grandmother’s name is Marie; could that possibly be her middle name?” Jim asks, looking over at his tired wife.
“I love that,” she enthuses. “But with what? I don’t want to name her Sylvia.”
"Well, what about a name that sounds like Sylvia but is different? Like, Sylvie? Or…” Jim proposes before being cut off.
“Celia?” Pam proposes. “That’s better, but not quite-” She gets cut off by Jim.
“Cecelia? I knew a Cece in grade school; it was a pretty name. And it still sounds close to Sylvia.
“I love that name,” she reveals, smiling down at their daughter as she whispers “Cecelia Marie” to her. “Cecelia Marie Halpert. Cece for short?”
“I love it too,” Jim announces, looking down at her as well. “Our Cece.”
The warm, fuzzy feeling runs rapidly in his stomach as he sees his wife and daughter in his arms. In pure love, he drinks in this moment, never wanting it to end.
“My two girls,” he whispers, placing a kiss onto both of their foreheads before needing to report to their co-workers and family of Cece’s arrival. “I’ll love you both forever.”
“But some things don't change”
Wilkes-Barre, PA, December of 2011.
It was as if Jim was having déja-vu. It was only March of last year where he and Pam were in this same hospital, delivering Cece. And here they are again, waiting for the arrival of their son, Phillip.
This time around, the Halpert's went right to the hospital when Pam’s water broke, and Jim was less anxious over the situation. They had one labor and delivery under their belt; they know what to expect, of sorts, this time around.
Yet, she’s been in labor for less time than she was for Cece. Something she had read about early in this pregnancy.
This time around, they also wouldn’t have Michael there to force their entire office building to wait around until their son was born the way they had done the year previously.
Jim isn’t running out for ice chips this time around; he’s in the delivery room, holding onto Pam’s hand throughout the entire length of her labor. Even now, as they’re about to welcome Phillip into this world.
And, in less than an hour, Phillip Halpert arrives, crying the same way his sister had done.
After the OB has cleared them, Jim is sitting behind Pam in the hospital bed, holding Phillip in their arms together, similar to how they had with Cece.
“I’m so glad we chose his name out early this time around,” Jim whispers, placing a kiss on his exhausted wife’s cheek. “Phillip James, maybe his nickname could be PJ?”
“No, we are not nicknaming our child ‘PJ,’ Jim,” Pam retorts, more so on the angry side. “Phillip is just fine.”
Rolling his eyes, Jim moves his pointer finger toward their son for him to attempt to grab onto. “Look at us, Beesly. Married, with two perfect children already.”
“Yeah,” she yawns, leaning her head onto his shoulder. “Look at where we are now, Halpert.”
And, as she falls asleep there, on his shoulder, that warm, fuzzy feeling surfaces. Reminded of days where he lived off of moments where Pam, engaged to someone else, would warm his heart, he’s amazed that he’s finally here: married to her, with two kids.
“Not a bad day, Beesly. Not a bad day,” he whispers as he looks down at Phillip, falling asleep as well. “I love you both, you three, so, so much.”
“Now look at all the things we've become”
Scranton, PA, May of 2013.
Things had not been easy within this past year for the Halpert's. Honestly, saying it “hasn’t been easy” is an understatement.
But, they were working on their relationship and being honest with each other. Working it out through counseling, and now? Things seem to be on the upside.
Now that Jim has returned full-time to Scranton, he seems happier. He’s home, not missing out on any major milestones for their kids or at work. Yesterday had been a great day, getting to prank Dwight in a way he couldn’t even see it. It had been fun.
That is until Pam feared she wasn’t enough for him.
He enlisted the assistance of the camera crew to prove to Pam that she was the most crucial piece of his life, that he wouldn’t be where he is now without her. And, in the meantime, dug through his closet to find the Christmas card he was too nervous about giving her seven years ago: the card where he admitted his feelings for her.
After being pulled into Dwight’s office, he walks back into the break room, where Pam watches the DVD that the camera crew put together of their most significant moments. As it finishes, he notices from the glare on her Macbook that Pam’s eyes had teared up. Wanting to make sure she’s okay, he walks up to her, wiping her tears away upon realizing his presence there.
“You watched it,” he states, smiling down at her.
Nodding her head, Pam answers with a simple “yeah.”
Reaching back into his back pant pocket, he retrieves an item as he responds to her. “Well then, I guess you’re ready for this.” Holding the card out in front of her, she looks at him in confusion, only noticing that the front of the envelope says “Pam” on it.
“What’s that?” she asks.
“It’s from the teapot,” Jim responds, messing around nervously with the envelope. He hands it to her while explaining that “everything she needs to know is in that note.”
Jim watches as she opens it and begins to read all of the feelings he’s ever had for her. Her face lightens up as she continues to read the card. She finishes reading it, placing it near her heart as she looks up toward her him.
“Not enough for me? You are… everything,” he admits as she stands up to hug him. He holds her tight, his hands running through her hair.
Regardless of how difficult it has been for them, his love for her spans farther than the universe could ever hold. He could never see himself without her by his side; she would always be his partner-in-crime, and nothing, nothing could tear them apart.
“Thank you,” he hears her whisper as he hugs her tighter.
Smiling, he hesitantly breaks their hug, looking her directly in her green, gorgeous eyes. “Every single moment you saw of ours, from the moment you’ve started working here, and even right now, Pam. You’ve given me butterflies; I’m not afraid to admit. You could walk into a room, and I’d have butterflies in my stomach at the sight of you.” Placing his hand on her cheek, he tips her head up to look up at him. “I’ll never, ever get over you, Beesly. Ever.” His lips meet with hers, the softest, sweetest kiss he could offer her, before taking her back into his arms.
She, smiling against his chest, whispers back at him: “I love you so much, Jim. And I always will.”
Hearing it, he answers her back. “I love you so much, Pam. And I always will as well.”
Releasing from their hug, she grabs her Macbook and takes his hand as they walk out of the break room. Hand-in-hand, as if nothing had ever changed.
“I keep on gettin’ butterflies”
Scranton, PA, May of 2014.
A beautiful Pennsylvania spring calls for wedding season. And, to no one’s surprise, Dwight and Angela are finally marrying.
Jim was asked to be Dwight’s Bestisch Mensch, and Pam was asked to be a part of Angela’s wedding party, of sorts. Meaning for both of them, they would need to be at Schrute Farms much earlier than the regular guests would be.
Jim readied himself downstairs in their guest bathroom, giving Pam free reign to ready herself in their master bathroom. With his mother-in-law watching the kids for the whole day, they are the only two in the house.
“Bees, we need to get going. You know Angela will have your head if you’re not there at the crack of dawn for her today,” Jim jests, hoping his wife takes the hint to hurry up.
“Relax, I’m coming down now,” he hears her, more than likely fixing her jewelry last-minute in the mirror near their staircase. “Alright, here I come,” she announces as she slowly walks down the stairs.
Standing there in awe of his wife, Jim feels that warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach, mixed with a fire brewing a bit more south than his stomach. Holy shit, Pam, he thinks to himself, as she walks toward him clad in a red, form-fitting dress, along with a matching red flower in her hair and rose gold jewelry to match.
“W-wow, Pam,” he blurts out, rubbing his hand against his lips as she finally gets down the stairs, putting her heels on upon reaching the last step. “I-I-” he starts before Pam stops him to ask a question.
“Butterflies?” she asks, bringing him back to a conversation they had a year prior, where he admitted to feeling butterflies in his stomach whenever she walked into a room. Now, in situations such as this, Pam asks him if he feels butterflies in his stomach as well. Sure, Jim liked keeping that feeling toward her to himself, but now loves whenever she asks him that. It feels like he gets to remind her how much he loves her each time.
“Yes,” he answers, pulling him closer to her. “And much more,” he whispers into her ear in a musky tone.
Smirking back at him, she matches his tone. “How long until we need to be at the venue?”
“Fifteen minutes, and it takes twenty to get there,” Jim announces, removing his hands from her before he makes them even later than they will be.
“Dammit,” she exclaims, biting her lip on the right side. “After the reception?” she asks.