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Story Notes:
With thanks to ThePinkButterfly, who enabled this one's completion.

Those little publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners! I don’t want you sniffing around them anymore this afternoon, do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind? Cuz I’ll help you find it! Whatcha lookin’ for, you ain’t associated with the owners, creators or producers of the media franchise out there! JESUS could come through that door and he’s not gonna help you if you don’t stop violating that copyright!

We open on PAM and JIM re-entering the office after a lunch out. They’re holding hands, teasing each other and grinning like dopes. This is JAM as they were always meant to be.

As JIM helps PAM take off her coat, PAM suddenly looks confused. She quietly tugs on JIM’s sleeve and nods towards RECEPTION. JIM raises his eyebrows in surprise, and the camera does a quick pan to find…


Don’t refresh your stream… it’s STANLEY all right, leaning against the RECEPTION desk, doing his crossword. We also catch PHYLLIS, who has been covering the phones for PAM and is reading a Scranton Times-Tribune article on her monitor.

STANLEY (without looking up):
Muscle to fly through the air, ends in S?

PHYLLIS (looks to the ceiling, thinking…)

STANLEY makes a pleased harumph, writes it down and then starts to fill in a few more boxes going down the page.

STANLEY (still not looking up):
Which means Cold War times, Cold War pastime must be espion-age.

PHYLLIS acknowledges that as STANLEY does the STANLEY equivalent of a chuckle at the wordplay.

PAM shoots an alarmed look at the camera.

We cut to the CONFERENCE ROOM, where PAM is peaking out the window instead of doing her talking head.

She turns to the camera.

PAM (whispering):
*He’s still there.* (She shakes her head and checks again.) I’ve never seen him stand up this long. (beat) At least not voluntarily.

We cut to later. PAM is sitting at RECEPTION, and gestures with her head to JIM, who gives a nod of readiness.

Hey, Phyllis? I just remembered I’ve got to run to the post office before it closes. Do you mind covering the phones?

No problem, sweetie.

PAM crosses to get her coat, and catches JIM’s eye again. She points to her eyes, then to his, then back to hers: keep watch. JIM winks. PAM giggles, and exits.

We do a quick cut to see PHYLLIS at RECEPTION, and zoom in on the SECOND DESK CLUMP, where STANLEY rises and grabs his crossword and then heads towards the bathroom. We then cut again to see him straightening out his clothes as he returns from the restroom… and bypasses his desk, causing JIM to shoot a wide-eyed look to the camera. Instead, STANLEY leans up against RECEPTION.

JIM observes with undisguised wonder.

We cut to a talking head with JIM and PAM in the CONFERENCE ROOM. As the kids say, they’re shook.

It’s like finding out the sun'll rise in the north and set in the south if the moon changes position.

Has he always been that much taller than me?

She turns to JIM, who considers.

NETWORK NOTES: REJECTED. Seems out of character for Stanley. Also, seems to imply the attraction for both of these pairings is about the reception desk. Is that it, guys? Is it a magic desk?

SUBJECT: Magic desk

Is it?

SUBJECT: re: Magic desk

Kind of.

Chapter End Notes:
Galilean. The title is referring to the word Galilean. Because Galileo insisted the Earth revolved around the sun? And they just proved that the similarly unmovable Stanley revolves around Phyllis? I don’t know, it was funny in my head.

For the record, Leslie David Baker is four inches taller than Jenna Fischer. The more you know!

darjeelingandcoke is the author of 21 other stories.

This story is part of the series, Rejected Cold Opens. The previous story in the series is Let's Go To The Movies!. The next story in the series is The End of the World (As We Know It).

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