If given the choice, I'd go back and change that night.
I'd take back what I said, I'd give into the words you said the way I should have. I wouldn't have let you walk away thinking you've misinterpreted anything.
I was scared, scared of the change giving into those feelings I denied ever having for you.
Scared of how Roy would have taken my change of heart, how that would affect those around me.
Scared of the "new" surrounding me.
But denying you led to "new" regardless. I pushed you away, out of our normal. I pushed you to leave, move to Stamford, and start life anew there.
Leaving me to face the consequences I kept here.
To miss the days where you and I were you and me. The days we'd be a team, and make the workdays go a little faster.
The days you'd check on me at my desk, offer a warm smile while grabbing a handful of jellybeans, and leave me smiling a way that no one else replicated. A way that no one else tried; nobody ever saw me the way you do.
Those days are long gone now; I smile less, stare over at your old desk out of habit, and reminisce on all the could have been’s.
Those that could have been a reality if I actually took a risk. A risk that would have been well worth it if I tried, instead of stayed in my comfort zone.
Stayed stagnant, lying-in wait.
I wouldn't think twice; I'd take that night back.
Anything to keep you in my life.