This was amazing.
Better than amazing.
How had no one told him about this before?
Unless those poor souls out in the bullpen don’t know about it.
Oh, how tragic. He must inform them at once.
Michael stands up and practically skips to the door, opening it with a flourish.
“Jim! Jimmy! Jimbo! Jimmatron! Jimbob! Jimmy Doo! Jim Bear! Jimmy Jimmy Bo Bimmy Banana Wana Fo Fimmy Mi My Mo Mimmy, Jimmy! Jim Nation! Jimster! Jimalingadingdong!”
“I thought that was my nickname.”
Michael turns and looks at Pam.
“Pam! Pammy! Pamster! Pamena! Pam Pam Pam Pam! Pammy Pammy Bo Bammy Banana Wana Fo Famy Mi My Mo Mammy, Pammy!”
“I am about to change your life.”
“Go to your interwebs. Then use those fingers of yours to type in fanfiction.net.”
“JUST DO IT.”
So, she uses her fingers to type in fanfiction.net.
“What is this?”
“Only the most incredible thing to ever be invented, Pam!”
He grabs her monitor and puts it on the upper shelf of her desk, turning it so the screen faces the bullpen.
“Come around, folks, and learn about the wonders of this website!”
Everyone came and sat criss cross applesauce on the carpet in front of Pam’s desk. It still smelled of chili.
Michael takes out a pointer stick from his pocket and points the end to the screen.
“This, my friends, is fanfiction.”
“What is fanfiction?”
“Google describes fanfiction as fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc. I, however, call it genius.”
“I don’t get it.”
“It sounds stupid.”
“Sounds like it’s for nerds.”
“It’s not for any of those things!!!!!!!!!!! This is SHOW STOPPING. Look at how many things there are! You can read about ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are stories from Seinfeld, Ace Ventura, THE SOPRANOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s even this super long Harry Potter one called My Immortal that I spent all last night reading. Amazing.”
“BUT THATS NOT EVEN THE BEST PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Michael grabs Pam’s keyboard and starts typing, then clicking, then typing again, more clicking, some more typing, a few more clicks, actually a couple more clicks, a few more words, and then presents the screen like Vanna White.
Everyone squints at the screen, since they’re sitting on the floor it’s hard to see anything so they have to squint in order to try to see what Michael typed into the computer.
“What is it?”
“It’s fanfiction about US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“YEAH! People love us! They watch the documentary and then they ship us!”
“Ship us what?”
“I haven’t received anything.”
“When will we get it?”
“NO! They don’t ship us anything! They just ship us!!!!!”
“What does that mean?”
“It means they want certain people to fall in love with each other and so they write stories to make it happen. These people are so creative.”
“Who do they ship?”
“There are some stories about Holly and me, a few about Dwight and Angela,”
“I did not give anyone permission to write about me!!!!!” Dwight exclaims!
“Shup up, Dwight. There’s even some about Kelly and Ryan!”
“But.............. a lot of them are about Jim and Pam.”
“Us? But we’re already in love.”
“A lot of these are from before you two got all lovey dovey. And now that you are together, they make stories about you guys getting married, having babies, there’s even some of you guys fu--”
“I’m just saying! There’s also ones about people who have never even been with each other! Like Stanley and Phyllis, or Creed and Meredith, or Pam and me!”
“It’s not EW! It’s creative genius! People will even put us into completely different universes!!!! Look, I found some good ones last night. This one Jim is a farmer! And in this one, he’s an English teacher! AND IN THIS ONE HE’S IN THE MAFIA! They like making Jim different things, I’ve found.”
“WHY NOT?! Come on people!!!!!!!!!! You can’t tell me you aren’t amazed!!!!”
“I’m amazed at how stupid this is.”
“You guys are LAME!!!!”
Michael stomps off into his office and sits down at his desk with a huff.
He couldn’t understand how they didn’t see the magic of it all. These people, these geniuses, wrote about anything they wanted to and could make whatever they wanted happen!
Michael spent the next two hours reading fanfiction stories. He was about to take a break for lunch when he saw a little button on the top.
“This isn’t... no....... it couldn’t be................ but is it????????????”
He clicks on the button and it tells him to upload a file.
Forget about lunch.
Welcome to Scranton and I Love You
A/N: Hi everyone, threatlevelmidnightauthor here!! What a cool website! I haven’t done a lick of work in hours, haven’t eaten since yesterday, but I have read a lot of Twilight stories! TEAM EDWARD!!!!!!! But now I want to add my own story, so enjoy this little fanfiction about the handsome Michael Scott and beautiful Holly Flax from the documentary series “The Office.”
It was a beautiful day in Scranton. Everything was perfect. He was happy. He was good looking. And his mortal enemy Toby Flenderson was leaving the office forever. Not only the office, but the city. The state. The country!! He would never have to see his stupid face again after today.
It was the best day of his life.
It was made even better, though, by being introduced to Holly. Although Michael hated her at first, since nothing good could ever come from HR, he quickly realized that there truly is an exception to every rule. And Holly, as Paramore would say, was the only exception.
Life couldn’t be better. He made Holly laugh, Holly made him laugh, he was already picturing their wedding.
Until the villain showed up.
Michael had called him in, really.
But either way, Jim appeared in the doorway and had the audacity to tell him that he doesn’t love Holly. That he had only just met her, and he needed to take it slow. Michael could feel the jealousy radiating off of Jim, and knew Jim was trying to sabotage him. He already had Pam, why would his best friend do this to him???
If he and Holly were going to have their happy ending, he needed to get rid of Jim.
“James Halpert, please report to Michael Scott’s office.”
A moment later, Jim was once again walking through the door.
“Today is Toby’s last day.”
“And you know the amazing party we are throwing him tonight?”
“Well, I decided it’s going to be a joint party.”
“Oh, okay. What’s the other occasion?”
“Someone is leaving. It’s going to be a double goodbye party.”
“I didn’t know someone else was leaving.”
“Well, I don’t think they know either.”
“Who is it?”
“You should be careful about what you say, James.”
“It could lead to some horrible consequences.”
“Michael, what are you talking about?”
“I’ll ask Phyllis to throw in a couple of extra fireworks for you, but you’re outta here.”
“Michael, this isn’t fair!”
“I don’t make the rules, Jim.”
“I think in this case you do.”
“Maybe. But rules are rules.”
“Michael please, I’ll beg! I’ll plead! You’re the best boss ever, no one is as great as you, you’re my best friend, my only friend, please--”
“No use, James. Goodbye.”
Jim walks out of the office with tears in his eyes and Michael starts working on a CD mix tape for Holly.
With Jim out of the picture, it was finally time for Michael to enact his plan. He had his CD mix tape, some flowers, and even got changed into his best jeans. He walked back to the annex and saw the love of his life. He smiled and said her name.
She turned around her eyes immediately filled with happy tears.
“I love you, Holly. And I know we just met, and you work in HR, but I love you. I knew from the moment I heard your voice.”
“Oh, Michael, I love you too. Ever since you made that Holly-gram joke, I knew you were the one for me. You are so funny and I love you.”
He knew it. Jim was wrong, and he was right.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes! Of course!”
They kissed, tongues and all, and Michael thought, “Now this is the best day ever.”
Michael publishes the story. It’s no Threat Level Midnight, but it’ll do.