She really didn't notice what was going on between them at first. Pam seemed normal enough and she was nice to her, so she figured it was natural Jim and Pam would have been friends at the Scranton branch. They did seem to be the only two sane people there. She didn't think much of the hug Pam gave Jim that first day. Anyway, she was too busy fending off Michael and getting to know her co-workers...God, it was so demoralizing that these people were her co-workers. Well, Ryan was okay. He seemed detached enough to be sensible. Except he was going out with that inane, chatty Indian girl, Kelly. That she definitely didn't understand.
She had gone out for drinks with Jim that night. She tried to engage him in some sort of conversation, but he did nothing but give short replies and stare blankly into his beer. She asked him if something was wrong, but he deflected her questions, saying he was just tired from the first day. Jim walked her out to her car with only a "goodbye" and she watched him drive off in his Corolla. She went back to her own empty apartment - something she wasn't planning on doing that evening.
The next day, Pam barely shot her a glance as she walked in the door and said good morning. Jim only looked up briefly from his computer to smile weakly at her as she walked to her desk. Ryan responded to the good morning she intended for Jim. At least he had some manners. She sat down at her desk and immersed herself in her work to just get away from the whole ridiculous situation.
At lunch, she watched Jim and Pam in the break room, carefully avoiding each other's gaze as Jim bought a bottled water and Pam shuffled up to the vending machine to buy some chips. She got up from her desk to join Jim for lunch. She needed no excuse to escape the pine-fume cloud surrounding Phyllis' desk, but this was as good as any. Jim looked up as she walked in the door. Pam continued staring intently at her palm, counting out change.
"What's for lunch?" she asked brightly.
"Oh, um, just a tuna sandwich," Jim responded.
She saw Pam give Jim a surprised glance and hurry out of the room with her hand still clasped around her quarters and dimes which never made it into the vending machine. She gave Jim a look inquiring as to what her problem was, but got no response. She sat across from him at the table and opened her own chips. They chatted about how their days were going and laughed about Andy's and Dwight's sycophantic behavior to become Michael's number three. By the end of lunch, it was like the previous night hadn't happened. She thought maybe he was back to his old self and that maybe last night he was just tired. Maybe. He was still holding something back, though. She could tell. She wasn't stupid. But, ever hopeful, she thought that maybe they could go out for drinks again that night. He carefully declined, avoiding her face as he said that he had lots of unpacking to do. She said she understood...that he was tired and still getting settled, but it confirmed her suspicions. There was definitely something else going on here.
Five o'clock rolled around and she breathed a sigh of relief. Jim handed her her coat and walked her out the door. Pam followed at a safe distance. He opened her car door for her and saw her in with a genuine smile and a wave goodbye. She started driving off, but glancing in her rear view mirror, she watched Jim walk towards Pam. Her heart started pounding in her ears. Was it anger? Jealousy? What did she have to be jealous about? He wasn't hers. The pounding quieted as Pam quickly got in her car and started the engine without acknowledging Jim. She decided to just blocked out the look of disappointment on Jim's face and continued to drive, not looking in her mirrors again until she was out of sight of the parking lot.
Her empty apartment just depressed her. She kicked off her heels next to the door, silently reminding herself to get more comfortable shoes while muttering about how she constantly felt overdressed. She slumped down onto the only piece of furniture in the place, not bothering to take off her jacket, and stared at her cell phone. She decided to just suck it up and call him. She was happy to hear his voice answer on the other end, but the feeling quickly went away. He explained that he couldn't be in a relationship right now. That it was definitely not her. He just wasn't in a good place. She responded with an "ok", her voice small and disappointed. She hung up the phone, more miserable than ever.
But she wasn't one to wallow in self-pity for long. She knew what to do now. She would call him. She grabbed the new Scranton branch directory that was neatly tucked away in her bag. She flipped the pages until she found his name. If she stopped to think, she'd only a way to rationalize not calling him. She was a rational person, after all, and this wasn't a particularly rational thing to do. She quickly dialed the number without thinking. She was met with a groggy "Hello?" on the other end.
"Is this Ryan?"
"Yeah."
"It's Karen."
"Hey."
"Do you want to go for a drink?"
"Yeah. That sounds great. My place afterward?"
"Yeah."
She sank back into the couch, satisfied.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is my first fic I've ever allowed myself to post. Eeek! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
anwyn19 is the author of 1 other stories.
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