Pam mindlessly stared at the back of Jim’s head, watching him while he was on the phone with a customer.   

She had not yet grown accustomed to seeing him from this angle.  And she hated it. 

Ryan suddenly looked up at her from his desk and she quickly glanced back down at her computer monitor, so that he wouldn’t get the impression she was ogling him.  Pam had become very adept at averting her gaze in the six months that Jim was in Stamford.  She spent most of June and July finding herself unconsciously staring at Jim’s desk, each time expecting him to be sitting there and becoming more and more miserable when she found that he wasn’t, and would not be.

But she pretty much had it down to a science.  She’d learned to move her eyes to a different  focal point before actually turning her head because it looked more natural that way. 

Her peripheral vision told her that all was clear to commence Jim-gazing, without the threat of Ryan being aware.  So what if Ryan does notice, Pam hastily thought.  He’s kind of an ass anyway. 

She watched as Jim hung up his phone and began checking his e-mail, the back of his pen between his teeth.   

She noticed the way his long legs were crossed and the way his socks matched his pants perfectly. 

She tried to keep most of her face hidden by her monitor while she watched.  Any minute now, Ryan would— 

Shit. 

Pam brought her eyes back down to her computer screen as Ryan turned towards her, got up from his desk and began walking towards the break room. 

She let out a deep breath and went back to playing Sudoku, occasionally taking quick breaks to stare at the untouched jellybean dispenser that had barely seen any action since Jim had left for Stamford.   

She decided Sudoku wasn’t cutting it so she closed it and double-clicked on her word processor.  After thinking for a minute, she began to type:

     9.  Because the sleeves of all his shirts are always the tiniest bit too short for his arms.

     8.  Because when he smiles at me, I sort of forget my own name.

     7.  Because his bedroom smells like clean laundry.

     6.  Because his eyes speak more to me in thirty seconds than any words that have ever come out of Roy’s mouth in ten years. 

     5.  Because sometimes I spend three hours wondering what he looks like when he wakes up in the morning.  And then another three trying to forget the image that I come up with.

     4.  Because we could never stay mad at each other for more than a day.

     3.  Because my mom thinks he makes me happy.  She may be right.    

    2.  Because after he kissed me I couldn’t stop feeling his hands on my waist for weeks.    

Pam looked up from her monitor, her fingers still poised at her keyboard.  She watched as Karen walked over to Jim and put her hand on his shoulder and slide it gently down his arm.

She watched them laugh together at something that probably wasn’t even that funny.

Focusing her attention back to her screen, she kept typing: 

     1.  Because he came back.  

And that was the only thing that really mattered.