Pam was suddenly having a really hard time breathing. Jim was standing just outside her door. What was he doing here? Oh my god. Oh my god. Breathe, Beesley. Think.
"Um, hi. Would you like to come in?" Pam stepped out of the door way so he could come in. Jim hesitated then stepped into her tiny living room that suddenly felt even smaller.
Just before she shut the door, she felt a hand slap it. "Hi, pizza's here!" a cheerful voice called out. Pam fumbled with her wallet, but managed to pay the guy and bring the pizza into the living room. Jim was standing in the middle of the room looking around. She realized he'd never been to her place before. He'd never even been to the house she and Roy had shared.
"Hey... Would you like some pizza? There's more than enough here for two people."
Jim turned and stared at her for a second, then said, "Sure. That'd be good."
Pam dropped the pizza on the little two seater table that separated the living room from the kitchen and walked into the kitchen. By the time she had grabbed plates, napkins and a couple cans of Diet Coke, Jim had sat down at the table. They each took a couple slices and ate in silence. She tried to appear calm, but on the inside she was freaking out. What is he doing here, eating my pizza and ignoring me? What does he want? She couldn't help but stare at him over the pizza box, but he concentrated on his pizza and avoided her gaze.
When they were both done (what felt like an eternity later to Pam), Jim stood up. "Want to sit on the couch?" He walked over and sat down without waiting for her answer. "Legally Blonde, Beesley? Unforgivable." A hint of a smile tugged on his lips as he picked up the remote and paused it.
She smiled back at him as she walked over to sit sideways facing him on her couch. "I wanted fluff. It's good fluff." She paused for a minute. How was she going to play this? Old friends? That might be good. "So what's up, Halpert?"
"With everything that's happened in the last week, I just felt like I really needed to talk to you."
"Okay... you're here. Talk."
"It's not that easy, Pam," he said with a little smirk. She decided to keep her mouth shut. She really wanted to know what he had to say, so she didn't want to upset him and take the chance that he would leave without telling her what was going on.
"I don't know where to begin. You told me on Casino Night that I misinterpreted our friendship and you were still going to marry Roy. It broke my heart, but I wanted you to be happy, so I left. Then when Kevin called to ask if I still wanted to be part of his Fantasy Football league and mentioned that you didn't get married, I didn't know what to think. I thought your decision had nothing to do with me because if it did, you would have called or e-mailed or sent a carrier pigeon. But you hadn't, so I thought I was still wrong about having more than a friendship."
"Well, my owl must have gotten lost between here and Hogwarts... I mean, New York." She tried to smile. "Jim, I don't know what to say, either. The reasons I gave Roy for cancelling the wedding were real. It was the truth. Roy and I weren't right for each other and I had talked myself into believing we were, but the closer it got to the big day, the more I realized I had lied to myself. So I got out. I'm not going to say that your confession didn't weigh in on that. Because it did. It helped me realize that I could have more than what I had with Roy. But first and foremost, I broke up with Roy because of me. As for why I never called... well, you made it clear that you wanted to be more than friends or nothing and at the time I wasn't sure that I was ready for that yet. Then I felt like I had waited to long and I wasn't sure when would be a good time to call. So I didn't. Then you came back and you were dating Karen and you seemed happy, so I didn't want to hurt that. I wanted you to be happy, even if it was with someone else."
When Pam was done, she couldn't look him in the eyes. She stared down at her hands playing with the seam of the pillow in her lap.
"So what about now?"
"What about now?"
"Where does all this leave us?"
"I don't know."
"What if we tried it all again?"
"What?"
"That is not an appropriate answer, Beesley. Stand up."
Wordless she stood as he did the same. They faced each other and he took her hands.
"Pam... I'm in love with you. I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Again."
He looked really earnest. She really didn't want to screw this up. She smiled up at him and squeezed his hands.
"I'm in love with you too, Jim. You never misinterpreted our friendship." His face relaxed and he grinned at her. The next thing she knew, he was kissing her. She hoped it went on forever. When he finally pulled back, she knew she was crying. He looked worried, but she laughed. "Happy tears, Halpert. I promise."
"Good. I like those. I guess we have a lot to talk about? Before we do, is there any pizza left? I'm still hungry."
She smiled up at him and grabbed his hand. "I think so. Let's check." Jim sat back in the chair he'd been in earlier and opened the box. Pam grabbed a couple more cans of Diet Coke from the fridge and walked over to her chair. "Hmmm, Halpert, I think my chair is... broken. Mind if I sit with you?"
Jim grinned at her and pulled her down into his lap. "Not a problem at all."
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