The credits rolled and the room remained silent. Someone turned off the tv. The silence was finally broken when Karen stood up, grabbed her purse, and walked quickly out the front door. "Karen!" Jim rushed after her. Pam didn't think her heart could break any more, but apparently she was wrong. Karen and Jim's departure had broken the silence and everyone was talking at once. Pam couldn't really understand any of the words, but she knew that it was all about her and Jim. She wanted to leave so bad, but she still couldn't seem to move. She just sat, leaning up again Kevin's legs, staring at her hands resting on her knees. She felt a hand on her shoulder and glanced up.
"Pam? Are you okay, sweetie?" Phyllis' concerned look made her want to cry. She glanced past Phyllis and made the mistake of catching Roy's eyes again. He was staring at her, his face a mix of hurt and anger. She suddenly knew she couldn't stay where she was anymore. She jumped up and ran out the front door.
As soon as the door closed, she heard Jim's voice. It startled her and she stopped before coming around the corner to the garage.
"Karen, get in the car. Let me take you home."
"No. I'm calling a cab."
"Karen, seriously! Get in the car. There's no reason to take a cab. Even if you won't let me take you home, there are several people inside that will go past your place on their way home. I'd feel better if you rode with someone you know."
"I'm not really all that concerned with feelings right now, Jim! I just need to get out of here. Now. Dammit, why won't anyone pick up?" There was a pause. "Okay, take me home. But I don't want to talk to you right now."
Pam heard two car doors close and the engine start and she started to ease around the corner. Suddenly she realized she'd left her keys and purse in the kitchen. She really didn't want to go back inside and face everyone, but she wasn't really sure what she was going to do. She just sat on the stoop and put her head in her hands. "Breathe, Beesley. Think."
"Hey." Shocked, Pam stood and spun around at Roy's voice. He was standing outside the door she hadn't heard open holding her purse. "You left this inside and I thought you might need it for your getaway." He gave her a brief sad smile.
"Thanks, Roy." She started to turn towards her car then stopped. "Roy? I'm really sorry you saw that."
"I don't know how to answer that, Pam. You said that cancelling the wedding had nothing to do with Jim. I'm having a really hard time believing that right now."
"It didn't. If our break up had been about Jim, don't you think we would have gotten together? But we didn't. He's obviously over what he said that night. You and I just weren't meant to be, Roy."
Roy didn't look like he really believed her, but he nodded and walked back inside. Pam walked to her car and got in. The tears she'd been holding back began to flow, but she knew she needed to get out of there before other people started leaving. Wiping the back of her hand across her eyes, she drove home.
She walked in her apartment and saw the red light on her answering machine blinking. Glancing at the number of new messages, she was that is said 8. She knew that every single one would be about the show. Everyone she knew was watching. She decided that she would listen to those later. She flopped down on the couch and let the tears fall. They rolled into her ears, but she couldn't muster the energy to move. Then she heard the watery sound of her cell phone ringing. It was the song that played when her mom called. Sighing, Pam grabbed her phone out of her purse, wiped the tears out of her ear, and answered.
"Hi, Mom."
"Hey, baby. I've been trying to get a hold of you. Did you get my message?"
"No, I just got home from Michael's and I haven't listened to the messages yet."
"Are you okay?"
"What do you think? I didn't know the cameras got all that. Living through it was hard enough, but watching it on tv with everyone you work with was awful." The tears were coming again. "Mom, I've gotta go. I'll give you a call this weekend, okay?"
"Okay. I'm so sorry. I love you. Don't forget to call me."
"I won't, Mom. I love you, too."
She walked into her bedroom and fell face first onto the bed. Still fully dressed, she pulled the blankets over her head and willed herself to go to sleep. She knew it wouldn't happen. It was only 9:30 and she had way too many thoughts colliding in her head. Finally she got up, washed her face, put on PJ's and got back in bed. After a little while, she drifted off to sleep.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali