“Oh my god!  Jim!  Pam!” Kelly squealed in delight. "This is so exciting..I was just telling Ryan the other day I wished you guys had gotten together...and now!  Oh my god!" 

Jim jumped back instinctively as Pam turned to look at Kelly standing in the doorway.

“Oh my god!  How cute are you?  I’ll leave you two alone!”

“No..no it’s not like that…” Jim blurted out and glanced quickly at Pam who seemed a little hurt and confused. 

“Oh don’t worry you’re secret is safe with me!” Kelly giggled.  “Oh but Jim – I was looking for you because Mr. Parker called to reschedule your 1:30 appointment with him.  He said he tried your cell phone and direct line but couldn’t reach you so he called the customer service line.  I saw your car in the parking lot though so I knew you had to be here somewhere.  Call him back when you get a sec!  I’ll leave you lovebirds alone!” Kelly made a motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key before turning and bouncing back down the steps. 

Jim let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Jim – are you okay?  Listen I’ll clear it all up with Kelly so she doesn’t say anything to Karen – I mean – nothing was going on anyway.”

“No, it’s fine.  Really – are you okay?”

“Yeah – thanks.  I needed a shoulder to cry on.  That was – well, thanks.”

“No problem Beesley.”

They stood in silence for a minute.

“Well I better get back in and reschedule that appointment.  Back to work, right?”

“Yeah, well…I’ve taken a personal day so I’m heading home.”

Pam turned to walk towards the door and Jim gently grabbed her wrist.

“Pam – seriously – will you be okay?”

“Yeah” she answered softly “I will now. Thanks again.”

He watched her walk away and he felt himself sliding back into his old skin.  Watching her walk away and she was completely unaware as to what was going on inside of him.  He felt that familiar ache in his chest and lump in his throat. 

________________________________________

Pam headed down the stairs and ran into Karen at the landing between Vance Refrigeration and Dunder Mifflin. 

“Hey Pam – hey listen are you okay?  I’m sorry about Roy’s grandmother.  I had no idea you and Roy were ever an item – much less engaged.  I’m embarrassed to think about the comment I made about the two of you dating.”

“Oh hey no - it wasn’t your fault.  I’m just - you know, a private person – I’m not good at talking about my personal life and it’s still a touchy issue, you know?”

“Yeah…I get that.  It seems like everyone has a little of that around here.”  Karen quipped.

Pam furrowed her brow and looked at her quizzically “What do you mean?”

“Oh well.  It’s just…” Her voice trailed off. “You know what, never mind - you’ve had a rough day.”

“Karen…is something wrong or -”

“No..you know…it’s no big deal.  Go home and rest – I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah…yeah I’ll be in tomorrow – I just wanted to take the day to do some thinking.”

Karen gave her a tentative hug and headed back into the office.  Pam turned to head back down the steps and left feeling confused.  She just wanted to go home and tune out the whole world.

________________________________________

The workday was finally over and Jim still had no idea how to address the situation with Karen.  What would he say?  How could he explain this?  He felt like he was drowning in his inability to be up front with Karen.  How much information was too much?  Should he just come completely clean and lay it all out there and see what happens?  Or should he choose his words carefully so as not to give Karen too much insight into what happened months ago?  If she knew the whole story she would be hurt…he didn’t want to hurt her.  He did like her – he wanted to make this work.  She was smart and beautiful and funny.  He needed to make this work. 

She followed him to Cooper’s and they met at their normal booth in the back.  This had become sort of their place to unwind after work and get a quick bite to eat after work. 

Karen wasted no time getting down to business.

“So….you left out some major details before.  Care to elaborate a little more on your crush on Pam?”

“Karen – listen.  I never meant to intentionally mislead you.  It wasn’t a big thing.  I just…it’s hard to talk about and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“Gee…just what every girl wants to hear.”

 “No...I'm not explaining this well.  Okay – here’s the thing.  Yeah.  Pam was engaged.  She and I were friends for years.  I fell for her and…thought maybe I had fallen in love with her.  Right before I transferred I told her.  Told her how I felt and laid it all on the line.  But she said no, and that she was going to marry Roy.  So I left because I got a promotion and I thought that things would be weird between us if I stayed.  That’s the truth.” Or a version of it anyway. 

“Yeah well having a crush on someone and being in love with them..I don’t know Jim…not the same thing in my book.  That was a big part of the story that I would like to have had before I moved here, but especially when I asked you about her a few weeks ago. And she called off her wedding right after you left and after you told her how you felt – I mean – coincidence?  I hardly doubt it.” 

A few moments of silence passed.  “I just really need you to be straight with me, Jim.  You owe me that much.”

“Look.  Karen.  It was in the past.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you exactly how it played out but honestly it’s over.  We’re friends.  Only friends.  I have no idea why she called off her wedding and she never once told me why.  She and Roy had problems for years though and he wasn’t exactly prince charming.”that IS the truth...no lies there...

“Yeah that’s all fine but I don’t want to be the girl you settle for, Jim.   I’ve been pretty up front with you about my feelings and I just wish you would extend me the same courtesy. You said you thought maybe you fell in love with her – did you?  Do you still -” 

“No – it’s over Karen.  She and I are just friends and I want to move on – with you.  Okay?” 

He reached across the table and laced his fingers through hers.  Jim started to think that maybe this could work after all.  Maybe she could be the one.  Maybe he was over her.  Pam would never be this up front with him…this honest. 

A slow smile came across Karen’s lips as she whispered “okay”. 

They ate dinner and went back to her place.  They had each had a few drinks and by the time they got into her apartment they could barely keep their hands off one another.  Within minutes their clothes were a pile on the floor and Jim had forgotten about all of the little details that he left out…again.