Sept. 2, 2006
He let the digital alarm clock fill the room with a red glow. He hoped that the clock was lying, that he hadn’t been lying here without sleep for five hours now. It was only three o’clock in the morning. That call from Roy, that fight with Pam, it was all laying heavily on his mind. It was causing him not to sleep. He walked down the stairs into the kitchen, for something to calm his nerves.
“Hey little brother.” Joey called from the kitchen table, still in his pajamas too. Jim nodded at him, and took a seat down next to him. “Couldn’t sleep either?”
“Nope.” Jim sighed, reaching for a water bottle on the counter. The ripped it open and took a swig.
“For years, all you ever did was talk about this girl. Now you have her, and you get into a stupid little fight with her.” Joey broke in, totally catching Jim off guard. “I’m sorry, but you’re my brother. I don’t want to see you totally screw up everything you’ve got.”
“Thanks.” Jim said sarcastically, and then rolled his eyes. “It’s just...” Jim began, trying to find the words. “Sometimes it feels like she didn’t pick me, I was just her second choice.”
“Come on.” Joey sighed, turning towards his brother in a very serious matter. “She came back that night, didn’t she? If you were second choice, she probably would’ve beat around the bush a while, and then realized it. She came back that night.”
“Because her fiancée was cheating on her.” Jim broke in, adamant on making himself miserable. “The same fiancée that called her.”
“Is this what you two are fighting about? Jim, stop being such a girl about this. Just talk to her.” Joey said, and there was a light pressure on the staircase. They both looked, and found Pam at the bottom of the stairs. Both Jim and Joey looked about the room awkwardly, then towards her.
“Hey.” She moaned softly, taking a seat across from Jim.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Joey asked, noting the growing tension between Jim and Pam. She nodded, and then returned to the staring contest between her and Jim. “Well, I’m gonna hit the hay. See you two tomorrow.” They both moaned goodbyes.
“I’m sorry.” They both broke in with simultaneously. Embarrassed, they both looked down and gave a chuckle. “I shouldn’t have blown up like I did. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah, you really shouldn’t have.” She said, confident and aggressive. “I can’t control what he does.” She paused, biting her lip. “It’s just...” She began, then stopped for a minute. “I really want things to be different with us. Promise you won’t blow up at me like that again.”
“Promise.” Jim said, sticking up three fingers in the boy scout honor. “Scout’s honor.”
“You were a scout?” Pam giggled, thinking of Jim in the boy scouts. He nodded, as if offended she would ask a question like that.
“Why, don’t I look like a boy scout?” Jim asked, and reached his hands across the table. He grabbed her hand, making their connection a little stronger. “I promise, I’m not going to ever do that again.”
“Good.” Pam said contently with a smile on her face. “Because if you do, then everybody in the office will know that you were a boy scout.”
“How am I ever going to deal with you, Beesley?” Jim asked with a smile. Things were getting back to normal again. He loved her more than anything. There was nothing that crazy bosses, drunk ex-fiancées, or anybody in the world could do about it.
***
“Burger or brat?” He dangled the plate of meat in front of her face. He swung to the spot next to her on the picnic table. The plastic plate down before her, she picked the brat up and put it on her own plate next to a pile of fresh watermelon. He leaned in towards her, resting his hand on her thigh as he struggled to grab the ketchup bottle.
“Can I help you?” Pam asked while laughing. Jim just shook his head, and looked victorious as held the bottle. “You could’ve asked.” She admitted, putting a bite of fruit in her mouth.
“Then I wouldn’t have an excuse to be close to you.” He whispered, close enough where she felt his warm breath tickling her ears.
“Like I said, you could’ve asked.” She gave him one large grin and went on to take the bite out of her brat. She inched her way towards him, and soon their hips were rubbing up against each other. The friction between them was noticeable. “So how often does the going-for-the-ketchup routine work when you’re trying to cop a feel?” She asked, changing topics.
“It depends on the girl.” He shrugged, spraying red sauce all over his hamburger. He took a large bite, playfully eyeing her inch by inch. “And how easy they are.”
“I am not easy!” She gasped, teasingly slapping him across the shoulder.
“I’m sure you’re not, Beesley.”
“Just shut up and eat your burger.”
“Whatever you say, boss. Whatever you say.”
***
The party began to wind down after dark. A bonfire was kindled in the backyard, and Pam had found the most comfortable spot: cradled on the ground, entwined in Jim’s arms. She rested her head against his chest, moving along with every breath. He moved his arm across her back, and made a mental note to buy her more of those cotton shirts she wore. They were soft, and he loved the way they felt on her.
“Those were some amazing fireworks.” Pam finally sighed, recalling the display Jim’s uncle had put on for them an hour ago, and breathing in the smell of the fire and Jim’s cologne. She looked at him deeply and noticed his eyes were sparkling as she spoke. He had noticed the same thing about her. “Not nearly as amazing as Dwight’s…” Her voice trailed off as she buried herself in those warm memories.
“I believe you’re thinking of my grilled cheese.” Jim corrected her, and the recollection was so vivid, he could almost taste the sandwiches. He ran his head along her soft curly hair; it smelled like apple shampoo. Having her there, in his arms was just astounding. The way she fit in so perfectly, not only in his arms, but in his life. It was just one of the millions of reasons he loved her. Finally caving in to his feelings, he kissed her softly on the forehead. She sighed with bliss feeling his lips on her skin. She tightened her grip on him, taking in another moment.
“You’re not my second choice.” She shook her head, randomly bringing it up. He pulled away from her for a second, just close enough where they were still touching, but far enough where he could see her. “I heard you talking to Joey this morning, and I wanted to tell it to you that I didn’t pick you because Roy was cheating on me. I picked you because I wanted you.”
“Pam...” Jim sighed, shifting awkwardly, trying not to think about this. Not now. This was a happy moment. He looked at her, reading her eyes like he always does. Trying to get a feeling for her emotions. And all he found was confidence. The confidence in her eyes was strong, and blazing. And it was slowly melting away all the doubts he had. He pushed some of the hair out of her eyes, and just couldn’t help but stare at her. She was just too good for reality. Was this really happening?
“I love you.” She said breathlessly, stunning Jim. He had thought those words thousands of times, and he imagined her saying those words. But he had never heard her say them before. “I love you so much, sometimes it hurts. Being away from you, is just torture.” She drew closer to him, inhaling his essence. It was surprising how easy those words were to say, especially to him. They had been friends for so long, and she was afraid the transition would be bulky and noticeable. But it wasn’t. “I love you.” She whispered one last time before she rested her head beneath his chin.
“Kiss her!” Joey broke the sudden silence between the Halperts. Pam sat up, looking at everybody now watching her and Jim’s intimate moment. They both looked at him, motioning for them to finally kiss. Then they looked at each other, and did not hesitate in pleasing the crowd. He rested his hand along the back of her neck as their lips collided. Cheering and applause came from the others, but it didn’t really matter. Jim and Pam just took part in their fever. She pulled away, trailing her lips gently across his cheek.
“I’m ready.” She whispered, playing with the collar of his shirt. Her voice played him like a guitar chord, and there wasn’t any subtext that needed to be decoded between them. Those two little words were enough to cement what they had known all along: they were meant to be together.
The fire blazed on as Pam led him back in the house, and up to the bedroom. Nobody seemed to notice as she held his hand tighter than ever before. Nobody seemed to care that they both conveniently decided to go to bed at the same time. And nobody even remembered what they had been fighting about the night before.
***
He wakes up in the middle of the night, entwined in bed sheets and her arms. It’s a sweet, comforting feeling knowing that he isn’t going to wake up and she’s gone. He just wants to lie there forever, watching her sleep so peacefully. Watching her chest rise and fall with breaths, the way her eyelids look when they’re tight shut with her lips curled in a slight smile. I could get used to this.
She begins to stir after a few minutes and Jim is mesmerized as she awakens. He just strokes her bare arm, creating more electricity between them. She smiles as she opens her eyes, and he’s there.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Jim sighs back. He pulls her closer, never wanting to be away from her again.
“That was really...nice.”
He laughs. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it described in quite that fashion before.”
“None of your old girlfriends have ever told you that you were nice in bed?” She chuckles too, shifting around in the blankets.
Jim shrugged, then kissed her on the forehead. “It’s never really mattered until now”
She grabs his hand and holds it close to her heart. As she rested her cheek back on the pillow, she just looked at him. “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want this...to end.”
“It won’t.” He sighed, stroking her hair and gazing deeply at her. They whispered I love you to each other, and fell asleep in each other’s arms knowing that things were never going to change.
Author's Chapter Notes:
After the big fight...
