November 13, 2006

When Michael told her Sunday night that she was going to need to come in extra early on Monday, she weighed the pros and cons, and ultimately decided that losing an hour of sleep was definitely worth waiting to see Jim back at the office again. Jim, back in Scranton, to stay, was just too tantalizing for her to handle. She grew impatient for his return from the second she found out the two branches would be merging. So helping Michael prepare for the big merger was a welcomed distraction.

She went to the store, buying different "breakfast-y" foods (as Michael had explained to her before she left). Since it was on the corporate card, she caved and bought a few bottles of champagne, which she knew Jim would have fun making jokes about. She could hear him saying, "Champagne and donuts—Scranton sure has changed since I was here."

The entire time in the checkout, she imagined what words would be said when she finally had him in her arms again.

Once the conference room was all set up, all the people from Scranton began coming in. Pam sat down at her desk, and now there was nothing she could do but wait. On habit, she looked over at Jim’s old desk, now empty. It had taken twenty bucks before Ryan agreed to take the desk across from Dwight. It was definitely worth it, though.

One thought that occupied her mind was how to tell everybody. She had been so wrapped up in her fancy new life; new apartment, new boyfriend, new everything, that she hadn’t bothered to tell everyone about her new relationship. (It was kind of exciting, keeping such a secret from everyone.) Every time she convinced herself that telling someone in the office that she and Jim were together, somehow she was convinced that the scrutiny of a long-distance relationship was bad enough; the nuisance of her coworkers analyzing it was even worse.

After fifteen minutes of wondering, she decided to disclose the relationship to HR (Toby had said during the sexual harassment seminar to disclose office romances; it hadn’t seem relevant when Jim was in Stamford.), and she would let the information "slip" to Kelly at lunch. Then the entire office would know by the end of the day.

The one person that hadn’t crossed her mind was Roy. They were over, one hundred percent, and Pam felt that her relationship with Jim was no business of Roy’s.

The new people began filing in, and Pam started getting nervous.

The first fresh face was Hannah. Pam listened excitedly as Hannah talked about her brand new baby, and almost warned her against bringing him in to the office one day. Michael plus baby is never a good sign. His favorite thing to do around people younger than two was do his "Look Who’s Talking" routine. Hannah found her desk, and Pam returned to the phones until the next person came in.

Martin seemed dignified, and cheerfully chatted with Pam about the weather. Once Michael had made the situation tense, Martin went over to his desk, and she stared at the door. He wasn’t the kind of guy to show up late. When a body began to press through, her pulse began to race.

Andy walked through the door, and her hopes slowly deflated. She rejected his advances, mostly because she had heard plenty of stories about him from her boyfriend. She loved substituting Jim’s name with the word boyfriend. It filled her stomach with butterflies.

She went through the elation and deflation for Jim’s arrival three more times. Getting sick of the mood swings, she decided to get some work done. There were voice mails to ignore, so she gathered up old documents and plugged in the shredder.

It was during the sixth letter that she feels a presence towering over her.

Someone tall, lanky, and undeniably gorgeous.

"I move away for five months, and Pam Beesley learns to do work. What has Michael done to this place?" He jokes, and the mere sound of her voice nearly makes her go limp. She flips the switch to the shredder, and runs over to him as it stops with a hault. She can’t even speak as she wraps her arms around him. "So you are glad to see me."

"You have no idea." She says, finally letting go of the embrace. She has to convince herself that nobody knows (yet). "Welcome back."

"It’s good to be back. The view at Stamford... well, it wasn’t that great."

"It wasn’t that great here, either." She pauses, licks her lips, and sighs with relief. "I think it just got a little better."

"I’m glad to hear that. Now where is this welcoming party?"

"Conference room." She says. He motions for her to follow him as he lays his belongings back on his desk. Once the coat and bag are down, he trails Pam as she walks into the conference room.

"It’s good to be back."

***

By the end of Michael’s orientation video, she’s regretted not asking him to move in with her. Yes, her apartment was small. But she loved the idea of waking up in the same place as him; sharing the same rooms as him, hanging her clothes in the same closet as him.

Instead, she told him that living in his old house with Mark was the best thing for them. He didn’t seem to mind, and she knew that eventually it would happen. They were slow at getting to things, but once they started, good things didn’t stop.

***

She tried to talk to him during lunch; she even brings a bag of jellybeans to split with him. But he is surrounded by Kevin, Kelly and Ryan, and there isn’t room at the table. She sits by the new girl, Karen, instead.

"So, you know Jim, right?" Karen asked after they had gone halfway through their food. Pam nods, still keeping their relationship a secret. It’s nice to have him just to herself. "Has he... I sound like I’m in seventh grade or something. But does he talk about me at all? I mean, you guys were hanging out in the conference room, you just seem like close friends."

Her stomach ties itself into knots as Karen looks interested in Jim. Her Jim.

"Why, are you...interested in him?"

Karen looks over at him, smiling in her direction. She doesn’t realize he’s looking at Pam. "Kind of. Do you know if he has a girlfriend?" Pam doesn’t know how to reply to that. She barely knows this girl, and even though she seems nice enough, she really doesn’t feel like telling her about her love life. So she stammers on her words until she comes up with a logical response.

"Maybe you should just talk to him." She said, standing up. Pam throws away the rest of her food; she really didn’t feel like eating it anyway.

***

He looks down at his watch around 3:00, and stands up from his desk. He puts on his coat, and goes for the door. He doesn’t give any kind of an explanation to her, he just leaves.

And Karen leaves with him.

She’s spent the better part of the summer convincing herself that nothing was happening. That Jim was not that kind of guy who would do something like that, but this was just too overwhelming. Jealousy ripples through her, and she wants to rip every single hair out of Karen’s perfectly shaped head.

"I think that new girl has a thing for Jim." Kevin says, nodding his head in agreement with himself. He licks his lips, and turns to Pam. He loves riling her up with things like this. "She’s so hot."

"Shut up, Kevin." Pam says, in an uncharacteristic moment. She has never said shut up to anybody in the office. But she didn’t need his berating words when she was silently going insane. Kevin took the advice, and went back to his desk. No one tried to bother Pam for the rest of the day.

***

By five, Pam was ready to assault Jim with questions. Her paranoia was, to herself, well founded. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but they had been in another state for months. Karen was an attractive female, and they had worked together for months. In another state. Who knows what could’ve happened when she wasn’t looking?

Stop, she told herself. Jim wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t cheat on you; he loves you. And you love him.

But Karen is interested him. She told Pam that at lunch.

When Jim comes strolling into the office, giggling with Karen, Pam stands up and fills herself with a false sense of aggression.

"We need to talk."

***

"Answer the question, Jim. Is she pretty?"

This was not going well. From the time she confronted him in the office, until they had reached his car, she had remained eerily silent. Then the second he turned the key in the ignition, she got all weird, asking him questions like if Karen was pretty.

The answer was no.

"No, Pam! You’re being crazy."

"Am I being crazy? Let’s check the history. I had been cheated on by my fiancé. I called you during a fight, and you were out with another girl. We were apart for five months, and you spent your days working with a prettier, skinnier woman." He kept on driving, despite looking at Pam every once and a while. "She told me she was interested in you, Jim. If I’m acting crazy, it’s only because I’m so in love with you, I don’t want to lose you." She stopped for a minute, then the car turned into some driveway. She looked at the house, not recognizing it. It wasn’t Mark’s house, and it wasn’t her apartment. "So if something is going on... What is this?"

"Is it my turn?" He asks, slightly joking. She starts breathing heavily, and he turns towards her. "I would never cheat on you. Not in one million years. Three trillion, maybe." He sees one crack in her anger, and decides to continue with it. "And while I recognize that your fear is well-founded, I swear on my life and all that is holy that I would never do anything to hurt you. And I am going to do whatever I can to prove to you that you’re it for me."

"You still haven’t answered my question. Where are we?"

"This is where I live."

"I thought you were living in your old place."

"Mark’s getting married. I would hate to share a wall with them." He chuckles, and she chuckles too. Things are getting more normal. He finally feels safe enough hold her hand again. Surprisingly, she doesn’t stop him.

"Karen did want to talk to me, and I told her everything. I told her how madly in love I was with you, and she understood completely. Then she locked herself in her car, crying for hours, because she knew that she could never have this." He motioned towards himself, and she breaks out into a full-on laugh. "Because I’m all yours."

"Are you sure it was hours? It might have been, like, fifteen minutes." She finally is comfortable to joke about this now. She kisses him lightly on the lips, and he returns it with a full-on make out session. "So are you going to invite me in to your new place, or do we have to stay in your car for another hour and a half?"

He opens the door for her, and pulls out his house key. Taking off his coat, then taking hers, she can’t help but notice by the door. There is a mat, with a few of his old sneakers, and a post it. She lifts it up, and it reads "Pam’s Shoes". She pockets the note, but doesn’t tell him about it.

When he leads her into the living room, she looks around. A couch, a bookshelf, a TV. Along his collection of DVD’s, she finds another post-it on a bare section of the shelf. It reads "Pam’s DVDs". Once again, she doesn’t raise questions.

As he gives her the tour, she finds even more of these notes. Once they are in the bedroom, she can’t keep guessing anymore.

"Jim, could you please tell me what is up with these?" She asks, holding all of the notes in her hand. Jim looks at them, then at her, and he smiles.

"Well, when I was settling in over the weekend..."

"You were in Scranton this weekend? And I did nothing but sit around in sweats..."

"I’m sorry, Beesley, but did you want me to finish the story?" He interrupts, and she blushes. He loves watching her blush like that. "I kept the spots open where your stuff would eventually go. If you decided to move in with me sometime."

She plays with the post its for a moment, finding two more (Pam’s drawers, and Pam’s book shelf), and smiles at him. His blood pressure starts to rise again. "You know, I would hate for all these spaces in this beautiful home to go to waste..." Is she saying what he thinks she’s saying? "How soon can I move in?"

He doesn’t dignify that question with a response. He just takes her in his arms, and feels their lips as they come together like they had done many times before. The two of them float together as they run their hands down each others necks, in each others hair, along the sides of each others cheeks.

"I love you." She says, finally taking two seconds to breathe. "I’m sorry I ever doubted you."

"I love you, too." He says, with a smile tattooed on his face. He isn’t quite sure, but he’s almost positive he will never erase that smile ever again. "So, are you thinking what I’m thinking?"

"Movie and microwave popcorn?" She finishes his sentence, and he nods. They race down the stairs, into his nicely furnished living room. He calls out to the adjacent kitchen which movies he has unpacked, and she wraps her head around the idea of being in Jim’s kitchen. And her kitchen. All at the same time.

She brings the bowl of steaming popcorn into the living room, finding him on the couch with the remote. He had put in a DVD she had lent him—one she definitely loved.

"I still can’t believe you haven’t watched this yet." She said, holding the DVD case in her hand. "Moulin Rouge is one of the classic romantic films of all time."

"Classic? Didn’t it just come out a couple years ago?"

"Just shut up and watch the movie." She jokes, shoveling a handful of buttery popcorn into her mouth. "Welcome home." She kisses him on the cheek, and he jokingly shushes her so they can watch the movie.