Pam smiled down at her desk, and thought of how many times Jim had leaned on the exact same spot she was leaning on.
She sat back down, watching Dwight run into the kitchen, throwing the HomoMeter Jim had sent him on the floor. She liked the idea of Jim still pranking Dwight from another state.
She wished she had known about the prank, but she hadn't talked to Jim for a couple of weeks. He had left a few messages on her machine but then stopped calling after a while. Every night she picked up the phone to call him, but then she always remembered something she had forgot to do that day and hung up.
As she typed up a memo, her mind wandered to the day her and Jim had convinced Dwight to stay in the break room all day, to make sure no one poisoned the salt and pepper shakers. She couldn't remember how they had gotten him to do it, but she knew Jim had thought of a way.
Her eyes glanced at the clock on her computer and she couldn't believe it was only 11:00am. Work had never gone by this slowly before.
......
“Yeah, mom. It was horrible. The guy was an idiot. I mean, freedom fries?” Her voice cracked, as she erupted in laughter.
“Okay, so it wasn't a love connection.” Her mother replied, giggling. “There are many more fish in the sea, they always say.”
Pam got quiet. “Yeah, I guess.” She twirled the phone cord around her fingers, thinking she needed to find a way to say goodnight then.
“Pam, have you talked to Jim lately?” Her mom asked.
“What? Why do you ask?” Pam stood up and took the phone with her as she walked into the kitchen. She made her way to the fridge and looked inside for something to prepare.
“Well, you used to talk about him so much and you haven't been lately, so-” She was interrupted by Pam cutting in.
“I didn't! I didn't talk about him a lot. We were office friends. I mean, he doesn't work at Dunder Mifflin anymore so it's not like I see him like I used to.” She slammed the fridge closed and threw the bag of bread on the counter so hard she put a dent into the side.
“But you guys were pretty close. Don't you miss him?” Her mom pushed.
“No, we just worked together. Really, mom. I need to get going now.”
“Sure, honey. Just, know I'm here if you need to talk.”
Later, in bed, Pam went over the double date with Ryan and Kelly in her head. She didn't understand why Kelly set her up with that idiot, but then again she never really understood Kelly.
Even though she hated the guy, and they didn't do anything, she some how left feeling like she had cheated. Which was insane since she wasn't even with Roy anymore.
It just didn't feel right. She felt like she was with the wrong person, and she knew the right person wasn't Roy. She just didn't know who it was.
Then there was Ryan and Kelly. The two seemed so different from each other, and months ago when they first started dating Ryan seemed like he wanted to quit his job and go into the witness protection program.
But thinking about the night, she had caught Ryan glancing at Kelly when she wasn't looking. And his face lit up, and he just looked like he really didn't want to be anywhere else.
Pam thought no one had ever looked at her that way.
Then, pulling the covers up closer to her chin and flipping through the channels on the tv (she really never did switch the thing off these days) her thoughts wandered to earlier in the day when Michael called her.
She could hear Jim's voice saying hi, and he sounded... Well, she didn't know how he sounded. But she hadn't expected him to find out she was dating that way. She didn't know how she wanted him to find out, since she hadn't called him in forever.
She didn't know why she cared if he knew. She just hadn't had anything going on since she left Roy, except her art classes. And she didn't have high hopes for those. Her teacher praised her work and all, but when she looked at her drawings she didn't feel like they had any real depth to them. She always wanted to make art that meant something, not just art that was pretty.
She thought she hadn't drawn anything like that since... Well, for a while.
So since she didn't have anything going on, she thought maybe she was a little happy that Jim had heard she was going out with someone. If he could meet new people, so could she.
Then she tried to figure out why she felt like she was competing with Jim for a better life, and gave up, drifting off to sleep.
................
Roy had come up to the office about five times by lunch. Pam looked at him out of the corner of her eye as he came in, and she caught him looking at her before rushing by to the kitchen for more coffee.
The fourth time, Pam managed to talk to him as he practically ran by. “Isn't there coffee in the warehouse?”
Roy nodded. Then he shook his head. Pam smiled.
“Yeah, usually. But the machine broke... today. So, what's up?” He asked, resting his cup on her desk.
She shrugged, turning to her computer. “Nothing. Boring day. Just got some new clothes, at Kelly's request.”
Roy nodded again. “Yeah, I noticed. You look nice. Really nice.” He smiled at her, and she thought he looked really cute with his mustache/beard combo.
“Thanks, Roy.” She got up and gestured to the kitchen. “Mind if I get some coffee with you?”
“Not at all. After you.” He bowed his head and she giggled.
Later, in the break room, Pam laughed as Roy told her the story of his recent trip to the store.
“Pam, it's not funny. Really. I mean, how was I supposed to know you can't take the fruit bags home? I didn't want to pay for sandwich bags.” He laughed, before sipping his coffee.
Pam tried to breath through her laughter as she thought of Roy being reprimanded by the store manager. She shook her head and calmed herself down.
“So how's the new place? Need anything fixed?” He offered.
She shook her head. “No, thanks. It's fine. Pretty empty.” She said wistfully.
“Well, you can call me when ever you want, you know.” He looked her in the eyes, suddenly serious.
Pam felt confused. “Oh, no. I just meant, um, I need a lot of new furniture still. But it's nice.”
Roy shook his head, his face pained. “Right. Yeah, well let me know if you need anything moved.”
He stood up then, pushing in his chair. “Talk to you later, Pam.”
Michael walked in as Roy left. He looked at Pam, and then back at Roy as he made his way to the soda machine.
“Hey Pam with a capital P, everything okay there?” He said, dropping his money into the machine.
Pam nodded quickly. “Yeah, everything's great.”
Michael sat down with his soda in front of Pam and slurped loudly. He burped softly before putting the can down and looking her in the face.
“You miss Jim?” He said, giving her a sad look.
“What? No. I mean, what?” Pam suddenly felt the need to run out to her car and drive far, far away.
“'Cause I sure do.” Michael said, breathing out the sentence. “Best salesman here.”
“Well, Dwight is the top salesman.” Pam corrected.
“Yeah, well, that traitor doesn't count. It's just, Jim... Jim had charm, ya know? And that's what the customers want, a charming salesman. I know he charmed the pants off you.” He said, smirking and lifting his soda to his lips.
Pam couldn't think of a response. She just sat there, her jaw wide open. Finally, she cleared her throat a couple of times and just shook her head. “Wha...What?”
“You know, you guys were such good friends. You saw his charm. And God, his hair. I would kill for hair like that. Nice and thick, ya know? He sure did like you.” He leaned back in his chair and bounced against the back.
“Yeah, years ago.” Pam said, getting really uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than she had been, anyway.
Michael pursed his lips, shaking his head. “I said that I wouldn't talk about it anymore, and I meant it. When I shut it, I shut it and I...shutted it.” He got up, patted Pam on the shoulder and left before she had a chance to ask what the hell he meant.
That's when she realized she really did miss Jim. She knew she would, but she never let herself think about it. She thought she might try and call him tonight. Tell him about her new Tivo that she had gotten since she had taken to watching so much tv lately. And tell him how Michael was exactly the same and just as confusing as ever. Maybe even tell him that she thought Roy was trying to win her back.
Unless she got too busy, of course.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali