I've read your work for a long time and have even re-read this particular story several times. I love this universe you've created for Jim and Pam and I adore your characterization of both characters, including Jill. I love that you don't make Jim overly sappy and that you make sure to portray him as witty and sarcastic, which most writers seem to miss the mark when writing for Jim. In fact, in the fanfic realm, your characterization of Jim and Pam is one of my favorites. But I've noticed that your writing for this story and as of late with your most recent work have gotten a tad lazy. Earlier chapters for this story and your earlier work are so much stronger. You used to go into great detail describing scenes and the like. You put a lot of effort into it and it showed. Now, it's as though you're trying to quickly write something in order to post it up as soon as possible instead of taking your time with it. You and others may not share this opinion but since I'm such a fan of your earlier work, I want to plead you to take your time when writing because you truly are talented.

Author's Response: Goodtime Fella, it's nice to hear from someone who's been reading for so long. Glad you've enjoyed my work up until now. I appreciate your comments.  Typically (specifically with this story) I try and do something a little bit different stylistically from time to time.  Because it's such a long running story, I think it's helpful to mix things up a bit from time to time. If you'll notice, I change POV quite often and yes, often I will lean towards a more sparse storytelling style and sometimes I will be more descpritive if I think the chapter calls for that.  As a reader, I enjoy filling in my own blanks from time to time and I don't want the writer to describe every last detail all the time.  Sometimes the piece is about the dialogue and not the exposition at all.  I'm sorry you're not enjoying that, just wanted to let you in on my approach. Not everything is for everyone though. :-)

10

I really enjoyed the waitress at the diner and that she both offered Jim makeup to cover up his eye and yet turned around to basically tell them to get the hell out of there since her best customer would be there soon. Classic! I felt terrible for Jim while he was being berated by Karen but at the same time I felt and understood Karen's irritation. He's really been screwing up lately, hasn't he? But that's what love does to you!

One thing that kind of bothered me is that Pam's text is so long and reads like an e-mail. I know some people can type out texts like that if they have a keyboard cell phone but even the I've never read a text that was so eloquently written. Just something to consider! Otherwise, great job!

Author's Response: Hey, GF glad you got so much amusement from the waitress. She was fun, I want to write an entire story just with her in it. Anyway, I\'m glad you were able to see both sides of the coin with Karen, unfortunately, her part in this play isn\'t finished yet. And poor Jim, he\'s gonna have a rough day. I understand what you mean about the text and I agree, it really isn\'t text-like at all. It was one of those devices that I probably won\'t use again so I hope that just for this moment the audience can suspend their disbelief on that one. Thanks for your review, I appreciate it greatly. :)\r\n

There were certain passages of this fic that I enjoyed, for instance:

There were worse careers. He glanced around the office, the empty desks. There were worse co-workers.

Well whatever, little Miss Judgmental had a skeleton or two in the closet. Or more likely a bone or two on somebody's desk.

But for the most part I found Jim, Pam and Dwight to be out of character. I personally don't believe Jim and Pam would ever have sex in the office during the middle of a work day while their co-workers were present. Also, after Jim and Pam left the closet, Jim seemed wildly out of character. He seemed more like Roy than himself. I also noticed some spelling and punctuation errors that you'll want to go back and correct.

Author's Response: I am not being dismissive of your comments, just to clarify. I agree, they wouldn\'t do that. And yeah, they\'re hardly in-character. But then I do have to say this was written with a mind on being more wacked-out situational comedy than anything, and sometimes I just have to stretch the characters a little. On re-read (again), I see Jim as being possessed by Jack Frost on Viagra.