1

Very smooth translation of the Spanish. Impressive.

And I really hope you keep this going. I love the premise of the sale. I LOVE the way you have Pam thinking. I love the phrasing (especially the "oh-I-have-a-thing-for-jelly-beans-that-make-me-come-to-your-desk-every-half-an-hour-or-so"). And you deal well with Roy. So keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks very much. Spanish just happens to be my first language ;)

1

Oh Pam. Not sure that was what you wanted to say, though I'm sure it's what you meant...

Also I like the writing style. "She stepped out of the shower, and with much more force than needed, dried herself and got into yoga pants and a large t-shirt" was a particularly good paragraph of showing her emotions rather than just telling.

Author's Response:

Thanks very much!

It means a lot, coming from you, because I love your stories.

Since even Pam is not quite sure about her feelings at this point, the body has to let them out. 

1

Yeah, this is great. Good on Pam actually going on and doing the breakup. I think you did a good job expressing her feelings on that point. And I can see Roy just...shrugging like that and figuring he'll deal with it later. Which is why that needed to end...

Author's Response:

Thanks very much! 

I thought Roy would be harder to write. The fact that he reminds me so much to an ex I had makes it both easy and difficult. But yeah, he'd have another beer and thing Pam would come to her senses in a day or two. Only, of course, she won't. 

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I wanted to add, on this prologue: very good Dwight...especially the bike and the opinion of Pam. Love it.

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Awww I like this being back! It's weather if not season appropriate indeed. Such. A. Good. Story. Thank you for writing it!

I'm actually glad you gave us only the Pam card. I liked what you did with his. And good on them for dealing with Karen.

1

Angry!Pam is the best. I think you do a good job of invoking her too, because when Pam gets angry she actually says a lot more than she does pretty much any other time. I like the alternating insight into their mindsets, it does nice things for the narrative flow.

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I actually had a lot of doubts about writing what they were thinking, because on the first attempt it was just dialogue. And I wondered if I could just leave it like that, but it felt weird. 

1

I like this. Sweet and also steamy. And a nice job of leaving the proper name for the end.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Maybe it felt kind of obvious that she was with Jim all along, but maybe not. :)

YES hooray huzzah A-plus! Now that I've gotten the immediate emotional reaction out of the way...

I'm fascinated that you still chose to have it be Jim who said "I'm in love with you" given that you call it a role-reversal AU, and given that you also gave Jim the "I can't." I'm delighted you didn't string this out longer (though I would have read it as long as you made it) because it feels more emotionally right to actually have it out if they're still both single than to do the stupid interruption-game the actual show did. I'm glad that there is another chapter, because although you've hit the high point you haven't actually resolved all the stuff you put into this little world, so no pressure but I'm expecting some loose-end-tying in chapter 7.

Just generally, a really good job of hitting these emotional beats in a new but still enjoyable way. I think I've maxed out on jellybeans here, but know that there's a jellybean in my heart for this.

Author's Response:

Ha! Wow, thanks. That's a great immediate reaction.

I never really intended for this to be a role reversal; I just saw it as an AU where I had the chance to plug and play (and repurpose) some great lines.  And, yeah, I couldn't drag it out. Wait, I NEED to know what loose-end tying you're expecting. I thought this WAS the loose-end tying. Oh, Comfect now I'll be rereading this to figure out what else you need to know. :)

I appreciate all the jellybeans, wherever they are. :) 

1

I love this. I am jealous that you wrote it. I want more. Please write and post more.

Specifically? I love how you're integrating the rest of the cast (favorite? "watching Mrs. Vance overwater the flowers in front of her big Victorian house next door") and the semi-associated cast (nice job wit the exes). I like Karen as Pam's friend (a weak spot of mine, though it does make me worry that you're going to have Karen date Jim...). I love the plausibility of the kiss and of the not-starting-to-date then. I want her to realize Brian is right (and who thinks both "purely platonic" and "I want to tell him he's free to date me now?" Pam. That's who). Adorable. Almost so adorable I'm worried where you've decided to take this for 10k words. Though don't get me wrong: very pro more of this story.

Author's Response: Wow! Comfect those are such kind words! Thank you. And, yes, I too have a weakness for Pam and Karen as BFFs which plays right into my favorite part of AU: repurposing the characters into whatever suits the World. I’m so glad you’re pro more cause it’s coming. 🙂

Oh this was exactly the beautiful resolution I was hoping for. I'd usually have something more specific and constructive to say but why bother? I loved it so much.

Author's Response: Aw, Comfect thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you being a big supporter of this story from the beginning. 

1

Welcome! Write more! This was delightful.

I particularly like how you conjure up (in this mashup of seasons and episodes) Jim's attitude towards Pam and Karen so well. I especially liked this line "He doesn’t let himself linger too long as to why that is – why she’s the only person in the office that he needs to know is safe." The willful ignorance is very Jim.

Good work! Thanks for posting it.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it! This is the loveliest community, I’m so very glad to have stumbled upon it.