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“I don’t want to intrude.” That was a lie, he wanted very much to intrude in whatever way she would allow.
I mean. Ya. You got him there.

"He could have sworn he felt his heart explode before stitching itself back into the shape of her."
I just...I can't. I--
How do you words? That's fuckin' beautiful.

Oh. Oh wow. How do you take something so utterly sad and make it poetic? My heartstrings. They are being PLAYED so ELEGANTLY.

I love though how strong you have made Pam in this entire saga. She's a working woman, doing whatever she can for her family, standing up to the wicked men in her life.

(kissing Jim first)

We LOVE a good strong female lead.

"He would have walked on broken glass or hot coals --"
See here's the thing. You are so delicately and artfully plucking items from the show and weaving them like little easter eggs. This was so beautiful.

Face. Down. In. The. Lake.

Have I mentioned how friggen invested I am in the MURDER MYSTERY of this?

“I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll think of something. You have to be taught, Mr. Halpert."

Hi I'd like to report a MURDER WHO THE--

“I pulled a body out of a lake, too, and my room doesn’t look like this.” Your Dwight is so perfect omfg.

Can I just say that I am 1000% Team Jim&Dwight: PI? They are so cleverly in character but work together like we see them in the later seasons of the show. I LOVE that you have them as buddies here. It's hilarious and perfect and the image of them walking through walls and sneaking around is just *chef's kiss.*

Also. I am worried about Jim's notebook. I'm concerned. I'm mad at you for stealing it.

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No stop, this was too cute though.

I think I might be as wrapped up in all of the little things that Jim has done as Pam is. The flowers. The extra cream cheese filling.

The entire: "But she knows that he gets like this sometimes. He wants to remind himself that he finally gets to be with her after all those long years apart, to show her the love she deserves and to show her just how damn lucky he is, and to allow them both to see just how perfect they are together." ALRIGHT OKAY DAMN WOMAN.

Everything that Roy never did (namely, being a good man to his woman), and I'm about as giddy as she is.

"Let's be late" NO STOP (don't stop tho).

I love that the plan is to spoil her. Why is he so damn perfect? Have we just done this in our heads? Because I'm here for it.

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Ah! Something Borrowed is one of my favorite movies/books and I’m super excited to see how this plays out!

Author's Response: Thank you! I actually didn't know it was a book, this is v exciting. Although I might need to wait to read it until after I've written this. Thanks for reviewing! 

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“I’m your wife,” she said giddily.

Jim kissed the top of her head. “Hell yeah, you are.”

Oh. Oh my heart. I am SO excited to see these two back. With a beard?? And comparing weird student names? You nailed it. YAY! So excited that peer pressure works!

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exCUSE ME MA'AM.
Let's just have a rundown of the times I *clutched my heart*

-"the most honest she’d been in a long time was when the backs of her thighs were pressed against his desk and she was kissing him" ow
-"the night she heard his voice for the first time in months. Well, heard it for real, anyway. She didn’t count the loop of I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you that was the background noise to every move she made." my HEART
-"She wasn’t sure which was worse, the noise or the quiet." exCUSE ME

Here is where hope soared: "Bottle fifteen was opened the day she found out he was coming back. It was the first time she opened one in celebration."

and here is where my heart shattered: "Bottle seventeen was opened the day he came back. So was bottle eighteen."

"She would do anything she could to get the image of another woman scratching his back out of her head." BT. This broke. My. Soul. Karen "fixing him." Fixing what she broke. Her heart is realizing and mind is breaking and you did SO WELL with this what the--

"By the time she got to twenty-three, she’d acquired an ice bucket." This is easily the most soul shattering piece of "Pam handling Jim coming back from Stamford." The fact that she's openly marking each event with a bottle. My heart.

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"One time I wore tiny heart shaped earrings to work for Valentine’s Day and Kelly put me in a friendship timeout for three days." I love u.

"Deputy Dwight Schrute. This fucking guy." HA. HAHAHHAH. MA'AM. I CACKLED.

"Meredith immediately loses interest in our conversation and leans over me to ask Jim if he has his handcuffs on him and if he thinks they’re stronger than the ones she has in her purse." Why is this so perfect? Why are you so perfect?

"I’d stick around but there’s a guy at the bar staring daggers at me and he’s definitely got a gun, and we don’t want any problems tonight." Oh my god this could be a story on its own holy shit.

“What’s more fun than getting drunk and throwing shit down the quarry?”
“Literally anything.”
I don't know how many more creative ways I can say that you write perfect dialogue but this is just--

“Oh yeah. She was with me, dude.” Listen I get that that's the line in the song but why is it so perfect that Karen says that as she pulls out a planner in the middle of a bar

"and oh. Goddamn. It’s a fucking fantastic smile." Like, listen. I know it's Jim. You know it's Jim. We all know it's Jim. How do you still shock me with his appearance and make me swoony?

"Jim writes this down in his notebook. “And the three of you were…?” He looks up from his notes when I don’t respond. Suddenly I’m very thirsty and take as much time as I can to finish my water.
Because what were Karen and I doing with Danny Friday night?" Is this the next chapter of the unicorn

“And you’d have preferred that? The Pure Romance party?”
“I have enough purses.” MA'AM--

“She’s only Scranton’s top ThirtyOne consultant. Of course she was there.” HAHHAHAH STOP THIS IS PERFECT

“I’m just Pam tonight, Jim.” You should write romance murder novels hot DAMN

“Joke’s on you. You could have done that two hours ago.” Oooo do I LOVE confident murderer Pam

“Maybe.” He sneaks a quick kiss to my forehead. “If it’s a slow day at work, sure. Just give me a list.” Why am I in love with Detective Halpert

"Also, it would have been a damn shame if this year’s Cake Pops for Cops Funraiser had been canceled." Okay. Again. How do you do that?? It's so perfect???

"I once told Pam that Stamford was full of corrupt cops. I neglected to tell her that I might have been one of them. To be fair, she neglected to tell me she was a murderer. I think we can call that even." HAHHAHAH THIS IS THE PERFECT TIE UP

Ma'am. I don't know how you do it. How you take something so outlandish as a double murder escape plot and tie literally every single little intricacy of the show into it perfectly. You truly do have a gift.

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"But now he is walking through his front door with an idiot smile on his face and looking for new jobs is the last thing on his mind."

STOP, NOW I HAVE AN IDIOT SMILE ON MY FACE.

"You in?" Bro. Stop.

"He put it in the inside pocket of his messenger bag; he would give it to her on Friday before asking her out to dinner that evening. During lunch on Thursday, he found out she was engaged. The letter was thrown out once he got home." I DID NOT NEED THIS KIND OF PAIN ON A MONDAY DID HE REALLY THROW IT OUT STOP

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"That Freedom Fries guy did not count." This was so perfect. I laughed out loud.

"If she’d been honest with him from the start, they’d have done this years ago." It's so real. And so raw. And it hurt.

"and now she knows exactly why his ears are pink." OOF. YA she does. Loved this whole image.

"She’s hungry, all right, but not for surf n’ turf." Literally laughed out loud.

“I’ve never settled for being second best. I’m mad at myself for letting you take that away from me.” Okay. So. This entire website has made me sympathize with Karen. You just did it again. This line. OW.

“But things like that don’t happen to me." This absolutely broke my heart. The fact that she's just used to it by now? Poor bb.

Hi. This is your first time writing? I do not believe that in the slightest. This was BEAUTIFUL. The imagery. The way you weaved them together and made this so real? Loved it. More please.

Author's Response: I copied this from Ao3 so I should have been more clear, but it’s not my first time writing (I’m very active in the X Files fandom) but it’s my first time writing The Office. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, everyone here is so kind and welcoming! And I do have more chapters coming :)

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I tried to insert a gif of Nick Miller saying, “I meant something like that” but it didn’t work.

How? How do you do this? Take these two knuckleheads and drop them into situations and make it utterly perfect and seamless and funny and cute and hot and—

Please quit your day job and write for my entertainment. Will pay u in Diet Coke.