First off, I did really like that Pam can't get Jim off her mind. The reasons why are clearly so much different than in the show, but at least it has echos of the connection we usually see with them.

More hints of past darkness here which is fueling Jim and Pam's spirals. They're both not just broken but shattered. Time for yet another weird analogy by yours truly, that I'll also probably keep using and expounding on as this story progresses, but it fits.

When one breaks a bone, if it's not set right it will heal incorrectly. The thing is, setting the bone can sometimes be just as painful as breaking one in the first place. People clearly don't want to be in pain so sometimes they'll forgo having the bone be set correctly, thus the bone heals improperly and the net result is that the arm or leg won't work right. In order to regain full use of the limb, the bone needs to be re-broken and then re-set so it can heal the proper way. Again a very painful process many feel they can't go through. And the whole process can't help but leave lasting scars that only serve as a reminder of the past trauma.

The heart is the same. The initial breaking hurts, repairing the hurt often makes one come face to face with whatever it was that broke the heart in the first place, which also hurts. People don't like pain so they'll find and use any excuse to avoid more pain if they can. "No one will/can/could understand," "At least it's just booze, not something worse," "I can handle things just fine on my own." That last one particularly is a really tough bastard of a lie. I've seen people break down weeping on my ambulance cot when I ask them that if they're doing so well, why are they in the back of an ambulance on the way to the Emergency room, sometimes for the umpteenth time that week.

That it's so easy to see Jim and Pam here and that it's so easy for me to draw that comparison is testament to your writing. Like I said last chapter, even though it hurts to see Jim and Pam like this, you're writing them in a very real way.

I do very much appreciate the bright spots that are Larissa and Penny though. Even the darkest night can't snuff out the light of a single candle. Here's hoping that both Larissa and Penny can stay as the candles for Jim and Pam.

Author's Response: I definitely plan on incorporating Penny and Larisa a ton in this story. They’re kind of my secret weapon. I’m glad that, even broken, this Pam and Jim still resonate with their true characters. What a great metaphor! But I won’t hold you to AP 12 English style psychoanalysis for every chapter ;)

Ok, so first off the graphics are working just fine on this end.

Now, about Jim and Pam here. I do really like that they're spending so much time like this. Getting to know each other, building a friendship. Nice to have some more backstory on Jim here. Yet we still don't really know WHY he started drinking. So I'm sure there's more to that story that will come out.

I do feel bad for Pam here. In one sense you have her acting similar to canon-Pam. Hearing one thing, jumping to a conclusion, and not talking to Jim about it. She's doing a lot of self-projecting here. Just the name of another woman and she automatically thinks that woman is also in AA and has given her the backstory to go with it and a reason to shut down. Of course that's very fitting with this Pam too.

Author's Response:

There is definitely more story coming out!

Also, just wanted to clarify that this Karen *doesn't* have AA in her backstory, and that's what Pam was noticing as the wedge for why she was different than Karen ;)

Thanks for reading! 

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After the bodyslam that was last chapter, I'm glad you didn't really go into more really heavy stuff with this chapter. It feels like everyone needed some time to decompress. The opening bit with Pam and Jim getting breakfast and going to the park did that very nicely too. It seems that very slowly hope is starting to bloom back in their lives. It's fragile and small at this point, but it's there.

I liked how you had Karen. Yes, she's direct but she's also not harsh. That's a difficult balance to achieve, but she pulls it off well with Jim here. She pushes Jim just enough out of his comfort zone to get him to take a look around, but not so far as to cause him to panic and regress. Great way to use her character like that.

Seeing Penny was also good. She clearly loves Pam and Pam clearly loves her. That Penny is there to keep Pam honest about any booze in the home as well as her confidence that Pam can make progress was wonderful to see.

Jim and Pam's bond keeps growing. I love that they are there for each other. That they want to be there for each other. I hope we get to see more of that as the story goes on.

There's been a lot of build up to this moment I think. Clearly neither Jim or Pam would have been ready to share their stories with each other when they first met. However now their relationship has earned the right. They trust they've built has led to this moment. While I don't love the events that led them to this moment, I love that they're both here.

Ready to finally trust someone with not just what happened, but the feelings of what happened to both of them. That they're willing to share their guilt with each other is, yes as you said, much more intimate than sleeping with each other.

Amazing writing to show all these emotions. Canon Jim and Pam are still there. Their banter and connection still shine through. Great chapter here AG.

I really wish I still had some jellybeans to give to this story since this chapter, actually all the chapter so richly deserve them.

They may have been hidden, beat down, scared and frightened, but there they are. The Jim and Pam we know and love and whats more seemingly falling in love with each other. Their pasts are still a hue part of them clearly. However I love that they've found something new worth living for in each other.

So many great call backs to the show. The Cugino's date, (that was probably a real life actual date this time) the giraffe pen, Pam's line about Dwight. Wonderful chapter.

Great to see them have a good time like this. I loved all the things adapted from canon. Picking out the good parts and fitting them into this new narrative was a treat to read.

Another great chapter in this story. The sparks between Jim and Pam here are delicious to read. This all read like a good fun time with people who truly do care.

Another great way to show Pam growing and healing was to tell Karen and Pam her story. She's finding more and more people who are in her corner and it's a lovely thing to witness. As much as I would love for Pam and Jim to really get together, the slow steady way you've got them here is probably for the best.

A healing heart is different than a healed heart. After the all the trauma they've gone through, as much as they may want to rush, yes I do see that taking it slow is the right way to do things.

All that being said, I did really like this chapter. Even with the few touches from the show sprinkled in as well. "I wish you would," being the standout of course.

1

Always nice to see a new take on how Jim behaved in the interview. I liked how you brought us into his point of view with this here. That he pays that close of attention to the yogurt lid shows just how much he pays attention to Pam and now how much he's paying attention to his heart. Nicely done.

1

Starting out with his nervousness, dare I say fear, was a good was to go here. After all he's about to risk his heart on her for the third time. But as the saying goes, "third time's the charm." And this time the saying is proven right.

Delightful banter between the two of them there after she says yes. I really liked the part where she asks if he's back and he confirms that he is. Great nod to that little scene from after her speech at the beach.

1

Okay, so this was lovely. As we start out you've captured where Jim is really well. In one sense he's just going through the motions. Wake up, pack a lunch, go to work, go home, go to bed, repeat. The same thing day in day out. There's something missing from his life. He knows what it it, or should we say who it is. So there's Jim stuck in the proverbial doldrums trying to spark something, anything. Casino Night hit him hard and made him numb so now in the interest of self-preservation he's blocked out Pam, and started up with Karen. Clearly not working out for him and you capture all that vividly.

But then there's a hint of a breeze on the horizon in the form of Tom the cameraman and his video. The video starts to fills the sails of Jim's ship of life right now, but there's to much ballast to really get the ship going again. However, this breeze does awaken Jim to exactly what it is he needs to pitch overboard.

So he does that. He's sailing back to familiar waters but at the same time different. It's as if there was a rocky shore line that was his previous relationship with Pam. Once he crashed on those rocks. Now as he sails a similar course there's a fog that prevents him from seeing more than a few feet off his bow. However in that instant when he asks Pam to dinner and the especially when she throws herself into his arms, the fog is lifted. Where once jagged cliffs had been is now a clear horizon full of adventure and possibility.

Bon Voyage Jim and Pam as you set out on the seas of life together now.

Author's Response:

I so enjoy how you manage to articulate what is happening in a fic when my thought processes are usually, “let’s get some words out & see what happens.” 

Thanks reviewing & providing this metaphor that fits so brilliantly.  

1

Great fun to include the drawing! It really added a lot to be able to see a representation of "Pam's" ;) work there. Lot of growth for Pam here. I'm glad she took the critiques seriously. It can be hard to hear seemingly negative comments, but if you don't know what's wrong, how can you fix it? Great way to show more of Pam's courage with that painting.

I also really enjoyed the process behind the piece. I've never done artwork like that, drawing and painting and such. Now that I realize it it seems silly that one would just pick up a pencil and draw, just like a write usually doesn't sit down and start to type. The reference pics being akin to the research that goes into a story. At least for me that is. So thanks for that insight to that world of art.

Interesting backstory for Karen there. It's a lot of buildup for sure, still when one reads between the lines it makes sense for Karen's character. Why she started out kind of hostile towards Jim in Stamford for example. Then one can imagine that she's thinking that she and Jim are really starting to build something only for it to come crashing down when he breaks it off and heads back to Scranton and to Pam.

Yet another hit for her. No wonder she gave Jim a piece of her mind then left DM Scranton the next day. Good insight to the character.

Author's Response: Thanks W4! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review!

Well lets see. It's an interesting premise to be sure. A lot of questions as to how Pam ended up in this situation. Speaking from the experience of being a paramedic responding to heroin users and hearing some of their stories about why they ended up where they were, well let's just say things can get dark very quickly.

A little suspension of disbelief is required here for me. In general it takes take about six months to go through a police department academy to learn how to be a police officer. After that in general a rookie officer is usually assigned to work with an experienced officer for a while to ensure they're ok on the street. So if we consider that Dwight got a promotion from Volunteer Deputy to regular officer or some such that could kind of work.

Also how it seems like you've got things set up here, it seems like Pam has a lot more than just personal use in that apartment. So is she not only using but selling drugs?

If you're curious about why many people get hooked on heroin, it's because they usually start by abusing prescription pain killers first. Oxycontin, fentanyl, morphine, meds like those. But those require a doctor's prescription and are expensive. Heroin is often cheaper but much more potent.

Hope that gives you some feedback.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for telling me this, I had no idea about any of this really. But yeah I was planning on Pam becoming a drug dealer. And I really appreciate the information. And thanks for actually writing back, I mean I have no experience with writing this so that is a huge help. And thank you for your services. But yeah this is fictional so, all the training and stuff I skipped over. Anyways thank you so much for writing back. Have a good day!