I've been writing fanfiction for awhile now. Just recently discovered The Office and figured I'd try my hand at that as well.
At first I thought of having all my stories in the same universe, but then I had some AU ideas. So any stories that occur within a common universe will be in a given series.
The road stretches before him and threatens to swallow him whole.
A response to the 55 Words To Leave Scranton challenge.
1 Jenna, wow! I was not expecting that ending. This has such great emotional depth for so few words. Masterful use of economy. Bravo. All the angsty hopeful beats all wrapped up in such a neat package. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks Warrior! It was fun to experiment with the genre a little, I’m glad it came across well.
Another day, another conference room meeting with life altering consequences.
Set Season 3, somewhere between 'The Merger' and 'Phyllis' Wedding'
1 Very nice little scene here. Starting out with all the tension and angst of S3 but then things take a delightful turn. Everyone is nicely in character too. Very easy to see this kind of scene play out in the madness that is DM-Scranton. Nicely done.
Author's Response: I’m glad to hear you found everyone in character - I was a little worried considering some of the dialogue was taken from Superstore characters. I kind of felt like I was trying to merge two personalities into one to make it work...
1 This was fun. What a wonderful image of them playing mini-golf in their tux and dress. If it was a normal couple you'd think they'd be embarrassed, but all those years in front of the camera probably helped them get over anything like that.
Nice to have an update on their lives in Austin too. Pam's gallery and Athleap doing well and all. Also yes the Canadian side is a tourist trap. I can easily see them having fun like that.
Lots of fun, thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks, warrior (can you tell I'm catching up on responding to reviews?)! This is loosely based on vacations my wife and I used to take, minus the fancy clothes, so that probably also contributed because I kind of let myself forget they were dressed up...
I miss you, come back to me. I wish you'd come back to me. But nobody heard. And the world turned and the world turned and the world turned.
A journey with Pam Beesly from the summer that Jim leaves to the fall where he becomes hers forever. Based on the lyrics to The Gabe Dixon Band's "And the World Turns."
1 I think one of the main reasons why the Jim and Pam story resonates so much with so many people is because of the journey they went through. It's not a simple guy meets girl kind of tale. They really had to work for it to get to be together. This story does that justice in a very real kind of way.
I was kind of sad that she threw away the picture. It was clearly something that meant a lot. At the same time that where she was at the time. Lost and hurting, so it makes sense she'd try to get rid of some of that hurt.
The next scenes in their bedroom and at Niagara are just all sorts of sweet. Jim is at his best here. Taking care of her as he always (mostly) has. It's all very sweet.
Another great story AG.
1 Very not bad. Especially for your first story here. Lots of great detail and easy to follow along with everything. Great premise too. You managed to grab onto their obvious chemistry and banter very quickly. However, even though he's not there, the specter of Roy is still looming around. In this case with Pam still wearing her wedding band. Though considering she's introducing herself by her maiden rather than married name is also somewhat telling. Not sure if that was intentional or not but it could be seen as at least of first step that she's getting done with her mourning period.
Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
Author's Response: Since Pam wasn't married long, she never officially changed to her married name. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. I'm so glad you are enjoying this fic. Thanks so much for the review. (I thought I'd replied to this, but guess not. Still learning this site).
1 Very cute. Great way to see the crayons vs pens prank visualized. I loved that line there where Jim admitted it was more for Pam's enjoyment than anything else. You've got a really good give and take with these two. Looks like Pam is starting to open up to him too. Asking to sit next to him at lunch and sharing looks while in the meeting.
A bit on the technical side of things, it seems like you have Chapter 2 in the Chapter 1 spot. Shouldn't be to hard to figure out, it just looks a bit off. Like I said that's a technical issue and doesn't take away from the writing or the story.
Author's Response: I'm so glad I seem to be doing something right. And thanks for pointing out the chapter mix up. I must have accidentally clicked on something, and I think I straightened it out. I really appreciate your kind words about this fic. Hope to see you back here for the next chapter, coming VERY soon.
Very cute to have the yogurt moment in there. The best AU's keep touching in with canon, in my opinion. That way it stays within the universe of the fandom, but you're still free to explore other possibilities.
So things are still going swimmingly for these two. I like that you've got them building up a friendship first. That way the moment there where Jim sees her ring and she tells him doesn't seem forced. It comes naturally as a result of their interactions. Likewise her allowing herself to be held like that is a natural and sweet step due to their strengthening relationship. It's all very sweet and lovely.
Smitten Jim is great here. His shock she he feels her leg under the table and the delight he has in just being with her are a treat to envision. Great writing keep it up.
Author's Response: Sorry I haven't responded sooner, but I really do appreciate your extremely kind and in-depth review. It's always difficult to begin writing for a new fandom, and your encouragement is so helpful to me. I just posted chapter 4. I hope you enjoy that too. Thanks again.
All very sweet here. I really like that Grandma Scott is so much more level headed than her grandson. Full of good advice for Pam too. I really like all the sparks you've got between Jim and Pam. However what's better is that Jim is allowing Pam to heal. In the universe it seems Roy wasn't the caveman oaf we nomally think of him being. Thus like you said there are good memories to be enjoyed too. However I think it's good that Pam is really starting to think that it's okay for her to love again. Taking things slow seems appropriate. Great writing.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like what I did with Nana and the chemistry between Jim and Pam. This makes my day--totally what I was hoping for. I so appreciate your encouragement. More soon!
1 Lots going on here. I really love the way you've got Jim in this story. He's sweet, caring, and protective in lots of great ways. The double ended prank on Dwight was a ton of fun. That the first part with the WD-40 was there to save everyone's sanity was great enough. The extra hit with the cricket noises and getting Michael on his side was a delight to read.
I also really liked how Jim handled Angela. He's standing up for Pam, but he's also letting Pam fight her own battles. It's really easy to have a character like Jim coming in like a White Knight and save the damsel, but in reality doing so only stymies any growth said woman might gain. And that's what I saw there in the stairway. Yes it was hard for Pam. Makes sense that she'd want to get away and clear her head. Good on you Jim for checking in on her. Since Pam was the one to deal with Angela her growth shows in her decision to kiss Jim. No, not to soon at all from where I sit.
Jim and Pam are doing what they do best. Bringing out the best in each other and it's wonderful to see. I'm going to run out of jellybeans soon for this story. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: I appreciate your in-depth review--so helpful to me as a writer. And yes, with Jim I am trying to keep him in character. One of the things on The Office that used to bug me more was that Jim didn't always jump in and save Pam when she was being insulted or verbally attacked. But I have come to realize two things: you're right, he is letting Pam take care of herself, but also, this is a work environment. You can't be the guy who is always reactionary, or known as difficult, especially as a salesman. I believe Roy got fired for such things, and Andy sent to anger management. So, yes, this is about Pam growing and moving on, but it's also about Jim letting her, while trying not to hurt his own career in the process. As for Angela, she has never been my favorite character, but there is also something very sad and tragic about her. Her only friends seem to be cats. Anyway, thanks for the great review. So glad you are continuing to read and enjoy.
Yeah, a roller coaster is right. Pam's kind of up and down all over the place here. I do really like that she's standing up to Angela. Especially when she compares that reaction to how her life with Roy was. Like I've said before, it's good to see her growing like this. However at the same time, some of the fear and pain of the past is very present as well.
But then there's Jim. He's just there for her. Obviously interested in her in more than a friend way, and clearly she's getting to that point too. I do like how you've got him saying how he's willing to take things easy while she grieves and heals from grieving. Good boy Jim.
All in all still very lovely. Can't wait to see the date.
Author's Response: Thanks again for your kind review. I'm so glad you like what I'm doing, especially with Jim. He to me is like the perfect guy (humanly flawed, but still). I'd like to think he would be like this in this situation I've invented.
1 This date has all the elements of a fun good time. However the shadow of the past still hangs over Pam and thus also Jim. It makes for a compelling story to read. They're clearly very serious about each other, seem to want to really want to develop a lasting relationship, but still there's that shadow. It's a hint of what we saw in canon, which is a nice grounding for this tale. While all the spice is fun and exciting, it'll be interesting to see how everything pans out. Nice chapter, I really liked it.
Author's Response: I'm glad you appreciate what I'm doing with this and hope that the conclusion meets your expectations. Thanks for the great review!
So the end of the night was not really what I was expecting, but at the same time, it's where Pam is right now. Lots of conflicting emotions going everywhere and you bring that out well. Good for Jim to read the signs right and back off, but also not leave. There very much could have been the chance for misinterpretation there, but I'm glad you didn't go down that route. Rather Pam and Jim have a nice conversation over breakfast that serves to build the relationship rather than pull things apart. I liked it.
Also good on Pam for making up with Angela. I did like that. In the show Pam is a very caring soul to her co-workers despite her kindness not always being reflected. It was nice to see her and Angela mend some fences here too. Great chapter.
Author's Response: So glad you liked this chapter! Here again, I go for the happy ending, the characters trying to do the descent thing. I'm glad you appreciated that here. Thanks so much for taking the time to review.
Very cute throughout everything here. I liked that part at the beginning where Pam is reading "Harry Potter." Nice way to include something like that as a plausible way for "Britishism's," to come out. I know I've used a few expressions from across the pond like those since I read those books so I think that fits well.
The date was delightful. While dinner and a movie is fun, dressing up fancy and a night on the town is special too. I'm sure there will be a lot more time for those kinds of dates later. Good job Jim for paying attention to her and doing something she appreciates.
Lovely writing as per usual. Always fun to see an update with this story.
Author's Response: Glad you are liking how things are going. Thanks so much for your nice words about my writing. I'm having fun with this. More coming this weekend!
1 This a really great way to show their connection. That they're paired equally in so many things. Not just physically, though that part was wonderfully and vividly detailed, but how they think about everything afterwards. And also that they're comfortable sharing their thoughts at this point too. It's a hugely refreshing break from the "bottle it all up, he/she must be thinking x y and z so I can't say anything" miscommunications that much of the early canon JAM story seems to have. Here they're open, they're trusting, and it's all lovely.
Especially since these conversations are being had whilst eating cupcakes. I mean it's like an unwritten, shall we say unflinchingly rigid, rule that one can't be upset while eating cupcakes. Just adds to the sweetness that is this story.
Wonderful job. Can't wait to see how it all wraps up.
Author's Response: Yes, cupcakes make everything better :). Thanks for understanding and appreciating what I did here. I'm so glad it came across as I intended. Your reviews for my fics have been awesome, and I really appreciate your taking the time to give me such helpful analysis. Thanks again. PS: The epilogue is now up!
Nice way to wrap things up. Good to see her honor Roy's memory while at the same time letting go of that relationship. For the most part, in this universe, it was a good fit for her at the time. However now she had Jim in her life and the opportunity to really grow and bloom into something new and wonderful. You did a good job at capturing that throughout this story.
That last line though I think sums it all up well. She's found her courage and is now holding onto joy. It's a wonderful thing to see. Great job with all of this.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Author's Response: Thanks again. I'm so glad you appreciated how I tried to characterize everyone. This is still a new fandom to me, and I'm feeling my way through. Your encouragement has really helped me. Lovely to hear your thoughts.
Interesting twist. The characters are familiar, but there is enough difference written in that one's not sure where this is headed. Very introspective to be sure once everyone in on the bus though. Pam's thoughts and feelings are rather telling. As of right now, she's not really seeing Jim as anything more than a friend. It looks like Jim is thinking he'd like more than friendship with Pam though, even with Katy sitting next to him. Very curious to see how this all plays out.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for your reply, II appreciate it.
In answer to your point, things are about to be changing...
1 Ok, so first off I do want to say that I'm still enjoying this quite a bit. I do think there was quite a lot of narration when your meaning could have also been achieved through character conversation and dialogue. Actually having the actual conversation between Roy and Katy where they discover their previous high school connection could have been a good spot for that as an example. That being said the internal thoughts of both Pam and Jim are very compelling and very real.
Now that's a big change from canon, but not in an unbelievable way. I think just about everyone could envision Roy and Katy sneaking away like that. For Pam to discover them like that though, yeah that's a big kick to get her to get out of that relationship.
One of the things that's a hallmark in canon is the cringey awkwardness that sometimes comes about. You capture that sense very well with that scene with Captain Jack calling out Pam with the note. Especially after Jim steps up. All the supporting cast members reactions are on point. It's easy to see Jim as the knight to the rescue here. Something tells me that while Pam does appreciate such a gesture, especially to get her out of the immediate situation, she's more than able and willing to partner with Jim rather than simply rely on him to get clear of everything.
Great update.
Author's Response:
Thanks, Warrior. I did actually originally write a number of conversations into this, but I decided that since the only reason I included them was to break up the prose, it was kind of cheating. At this point they're both alone with their thoughts, mostly, and so I decided to stick with that. I take your point, though, and i agonised over it.
As for Pam and where she is on her personal journey, I'm thinking she's got a bit of coming and going to do before she can move on from years of passivity. She's found some strength and resolve here, but there will probably be some backsliding. We'll see.
Thanks for taking the time to review.
1 Wow! This is just all full of twist and turns. It's one thing to have Jim say he'll her fiance, but to then just agree to get married, just like that! Again I say wow. Much better with the dialogue this time around. Good balance of talking, narration, and internal type thoughts.
Can't wait to see what Pam thinks about all this.
Author's Response: Thank you!
1 Great update. Lots of fun with the wedding night there. It's great that they still have their fun moments of joking around with each other. I do like that thought that Jim had there. That using up the pack of condoms confirmed, at least from his mindset, they were perfect for each other.
I also really like how Pam's bringing out FNB. How excited she is when she unleashed that part of herself. I think you've got it right that the old part of her is at war with the FNB feelings. After all if she stayed with Roy after everything you mentioned here, those are some powerful feelings to overcome. Still I think, and hope, that with Jim at her side there will be more FNB moments to counter anything Old Mousy Pam might be scared of.
So thanks for giving us this look into the immediate aftermath of everything. Monday morning with everyone else, should prove quite interesting.
Author's Response: Thanks again for your feedback - I really do appreciate it. 8o)
Very interesting take on the aftermath of everything here. Now granted Pam has a ton of baggage from her past hanging over here head. Her expectations that living with Jim would be similar to living with Roy, as well as her still taking care of Roy prove that. Jim wanting so hard to cling to this "thing" they have. And of course underneath it all, their old acquaintance, fear. Fear that this relationship is just a rebound, that it's nothing more than the kick in the pants that she needs to break away from a life she didn't want, fear that maybe, just maybe, this could be the real deal.
Great writing to thread the line between hope, fun, and fear like that. It makes for compelling story. It also makes me as a reader just want to shout at this version of Jim and Pam to "get overyourselves, tell each other you love them, and be enjoy your happiness." So there's that. Always great to see an update on this one.
Author's Response:
Thanks again, Warrior. I figure there's no way they wouldn't both be insecure, given their past (her previous relationship, and his apparently unrequited love), and their unusual current circumstances. And their personalities, because while they're both lovely, neither of them seem to be go-get-em types. They've got a lot going on!
Yeah lots of heavy emotions there. You've captured the dance-around-their-true-feelings-Jim-and-Pam do from canon well. Their old nemesis of fear has a powerful hold on them. Both Mark and Penny are there telling them both to be honest with each other and they're still digging in their heels. Great writing, even if it's a bit frustrating waiting for them to get a clue.
Very devious with Roy there. Clearly he's not taking things well and he still has a few hooks in Pam. Personally I think Jim should tell her about the picture. A big jolt to her system might be what's needed for her to finally break things off 100%. I did like that Jim was able to evade the punch and that the other warehouse guys were there to keep things under control. But yeah, Jim's right, Roy should have been fired on the spot for the picture. Great job keeping everything going with this.
Author's Response:
Hope it's not too frustrating!
I actually spent the last few days agonising about the picture, whether or not to keep it in or take it out, and what Jim's moral responsibility is here (and my moral responsibility in introducing the revenge porn incident, and how to tackle its implications.)
Thanks again. It's much appreciated.
Double review from me for this chapter. I also picked up that you're from the UK. The benefits of being married to a woman who was in love with the good seasons of BBC Top Gear, read with Clarkson, May, and Hammond, the David Tennant seasons of Dr. Who, and Shakespeare. I was able to pick up on the British-ness coming through too. So a few things in this chapter I found and their corrections if you're interested in making this more "American."
"Mould" British vs. US English here. Just like "watercolour" later in the chapter, in the States we would generally drop the 'u' in those words. That' kind of nitpicky I know, but it's one of those things. So it would be "mold" or "watercolor."
"Anti-clockwise" would be the British version of the American "counter-clockwise."
"Takeaway" = "Take out" in the US.
"Sackable" in the UK. "Fireable" in the US
I do like the idea that Jim is a fan of some BBC type shows which could lead to some British type words coming into his lexicon. I think it's bloody brilliant if "bloody" got mixed in from time to time. Also "dickhead" yes is used in the US. It's a pretty universal think. Arsehole/asshole same thing really.
I'm not at all complaining about the Britishness coming through. Yes, it's there because as writers we tend to default to words and phrases we're most familiar with. Getting things like slang down when you're unfamiliar with them can be tricky. That's okay. If you want to keep the UK vibe going, that's your choice and in my opinion fine. Makes this story a bit more unique and kind of fun to read.
I just mention those things about in care you'd like to use them so you know what the American versions would be. Hope it helps.
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to respond, Warrior. I'm with your wife on the David Tennant Dr Who! though I quite liked the Christopher Ecclestone one too.
I forgot all about the spelling thing. I should have picked up colour, though I wouldn't have known mould is spelled without the 'u'. Another spelling issue I've forgotten to Americanize is 'ise', 'isation', 'ising'.
'Take out' is actually one I looked up, and I've managed to get it right elsewhere. This errant (hopefully only...) one slipped through :o( 'Anti-clockwise' I had a feeling was different, but forgot to check. That's what I get for posting in the early hours...
Anyway, hope it isn't grating on folk's nerves. Will try harder!
Yeah, they're spending way to much time in their own heads here. I mean you're writing it great, but yeah you just want to reach through the screen and shake their shoulders till they come to their senses. Glad that Pam finally told Roy knock it all off. His whole "how dare you cheat on me" thing really wasn't holding any water considering his past here. Nice to have that over and done with.
Hopefully things start to look up from here on out.
Author's Response: Happiness is on it's way...
That cliffhanger! I mean, just....please don't keep us hanging to long. Not after all of this.
I LOVED your supporting cast here. Mark, Larissa, Penny. Just wonderful all around. It was great to see them laying into Pam and Jim like this. They clearly needed it. Hopefully help shake off any lingering fear or doubt. If only we could have seen some scenes like this in canon. Great writing. Great way to build everything up throughout this chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the other characters...I wasn't sure if I had too much 'other people' content, or if it was justified. I'm glad you enjoyed them.
1 This story has been a real ride. Lots of ups and downs. For your first fanfic though, superb! You created interest, curiosity, hope, a touch of fear here and there, but then with this last chapter pulled it all together.
It was so wonderful to see them talking like this. To get over their own hang-ups, their fear, their doubt and just jump into each others arms. i really love the character growth that this chapter shows. They've learned from themselves, their family, and friends just how important it is to be open with each other. Now that they're done assuming things they've found a much more wonderful place to be.
The retreat at the lake-side cabin seemed the perfect place to do that. Away from all the noise and distractions they can just focus on each other. In more ways than one. ;)
Wonderful job throughout all of this. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Author's Response: Many thanks, Warrior, for all your (extremely comprehensive!) comments. It's been a great encouragement as I've gone along. Looking forward to catching up on your recent pieces, now I'm not stressing about getting this finished!