1

The titles, all three of them, are laugh out loud funny. Chance, my beloved Chocolate Lab who has a well developed sense of humour, came running.

The disclaimer hits all the legal points, I think, while being the funniest ever. I am not an attorney, but I have gone out with a few. Extra jelly bean for ensemble inclusion.

Is that the Carl Shurz, former Senator and Secretary of the Interior, who is writing about The Office? If so, EVERYONE, living or dead, has seen it and has an opinion.

For a character who is never seen and is only mentioned once, Larissa has a strong presence. You described her physical attributes and college student attire just as I'd imagined her. Poor girl getting the Halpert nose, ears, and jawline though.

"glomp" is now my new favourite word. So onomatopoetic even though Larissa didn't follow through with the victory dance.

I know comedy is harder to write than it looks and cringe worthy comedy even harder, but September? Nevertheless, Chance approved.

Author's Response: Hi Chance! Glad you enjoyed! (I really feel like I might have dug myself a hole here... this is about as comic as this one is going to get.)

You know, there are some voices I think just work with these disclaimers, and Stanley is one of them. Thanks for the extra jelly beans, they hit the spot.

Props for picking up on that reference... I'm trying to brush up on my Gilded Age history right now. I like to think this particular scholar is a great-great-great grandchild of the original.

All credit to Comfect on defining Larissa for me - this is definitely my take on his version of the character. Yeah, the distinct Halpert look is not so great for her, but she makes do.

Glomp is a VERY useful word in this context.

Ah, but, see, the next part isn't cringe comedy... but tell Chance thanks.

Thanks to Noble Land Mermaid and you both for teaching me Procrasti-writing. The benefits of writing 55's, drabbles, and one shots are well known and should never, ever be denigrated. So glad you wrote this. It's smooth.

It is so well written and flows effortlessly. Even the jump from “another Beesly bra adorning the walls of the New York gin mill. “ to “Did they go down okay?” The facets of modern family life – youthful indiscretions (I know Pam would have been chronologically older at Pratt, but she still had college kinks to work out) to raising babies -- exposed in a single paragraph shift.

I liked your take on Penny's backstory. It also added nuance to Pam's history with a younger sister's POV in a few words. Your economic use of words is one of the things I really respect in your writing.

From the first mention of Hogs and Heifers, my thought snapped to Line Dancing My Life Away by beth9501. It's a stretch, but most of the time I have no control over what connections my brain makes. At least this time I didn't click directly to Line Dancing and read it first.

All hail, Procrasti-writing! Good onya

Author's Response:

Aww, Once, thanks so much. I guess procrasti-writing has its place and I'll never doubt its value again.

Okay, so I was sure you were going to have some crazy Hogs and Heifers story from the way you began that sentence and I so wish you had since as I mention I don't except I was in the bar and paid a crazy amount of money to have a beer there.

As for the flow - well I've been there - one minute your sharing a crazy story about your younger days and next you have to change a diaper or attend to a toddler who cries for mom while you're entertaining guests. You've made my day that you felt it flowed so well and was a story worth reading. I should hope for writer's block more often (no- I take that back).

Penny is a Beesly, right and I just adored when she said 'don't squish the baby' at the wedding. Wish we had a little more time with her so I've created it.

Thanks for your kind words and your fun review. I'll have to add Line Dancing to my getting heavier by the moment bookshelf.

1

What a great 1st chapter! You led me right in. When the question "How do they know each other?" popped up for me, you answered it. I'm so glad you have both of them thinking about attraction but not in it fully; we'll get the full journey.

Great interweaving of canon dialogue into the AU.

Good onya

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! That’s so great to hear - and yeah, on the attraction, I was interested in what it would be like if neither of them were openly pining for each other from the beginning…I am planning to keep this one relatively short compared to my other fics though, the current plan is six chapters (so potentially a slightly shorter journey, lol). Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review!  

1

Interactive scifi! I'm stoked already cuz I know the writing is gonna be good.
I'd been missing you. Now I know why!

Author's Response: OMG this is such a kind review! <3

Jim's musing about Mephistopheles and the sirens calling to him may be the most beautiful section of writing you have ever done.

And, yes, Randall DOES look like a younger version of Dumbledore.

Author's Response:

Wow - what a compliment. Thanks ever so much.

I'm really putting my guts into this story so it means a lot you think it's coming through.

Poor Jim, right. Bet he wishes he had a Time Turner so he could go back and do that 27 seconds differently.

Right - really made this bit work.

Glad you are reading this one - I know you'll pick up a lot of the easter eggs throughout.

  

1

HO-LY shit. That was a very good first chapter!!! Welcome aboard!

Really, really well written. The first three paragraphs established a nice rhythm. You have a firm grasp of voices, characterizations, and mannerisms on each character you mentioned – not just Jim and Pam but Toby, Kelli, even Sadiq. Your pacing, details, and follow through on each scene was commendable; you didn't rush anything.

The funny bits were wonderful.
Only one shoe between them
god, he must have been booking it
Pam falling on the stairs and Jim's “go, go, come on”
Jim getting her bra off “in all the commotion” cracked me up
Pam clapping her hands over her face and Jim having to peel them off (It takes some getting used to my unique sense of humour)

I hadn't checked the rating before beginning to read. Halfway through, I was glad I can find my smokes by touch. I needed one but didn't want to interrupt my reading.

I've always thought the video was the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee leaked one. Pam was just curious what her prior possible namesake was up to. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Good onya

PS Any and all puns and word choices in this post were purely unintentional. My subconscious overwhelmed me.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for that fantastic, in-depth review. It warms my li’l soul! I’m so glad it’s coming across as authentic and accurate, despite the huge smut-fest.

I’ve heard on Office Ladies they debated whose sex tape it was, but the year that ‘Fun Run’ came out was the same year as the Kim Kardashian sex tape, so I had to imagine it was being advertised everywhere online in ads, and took inspiration from that. 😂 I definitely don’t discount the Pam Anderson idea, though!

This is a great opening. I'm looking forward to the rest!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I’m really glad you’re enjoying it so far - thanks very much for reading :) 

Congratulations on your first!

Two things I loved.
"I really want my mum."
Uma Thurman's eyes (and boobs) on a tshirt. You will most definitely need to explain how he came by that shirt.

Good onya

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Once!! 

So glad you loved those two, I chuckled to myself as I wrote them. Uma Thurman's eyes (and boobs) will be explored in the next one :) 

I love your cold opens! Drawing inspiration from the podcast is genius. Writing instead of counting sheep is Dwight level creative.

I would have gotten on this review quicker, but I got lost in reviewing maps of Dingman's Ferry and its surrounds. The waterfall looks lovely.

Your economic descriptions of Michael, Darryl, Lonnie, Jim, Pam, Phyllis, Kevin, and Oscar are as funny as they are accurate. Dwight gassing Disneyland is just heresy, however. Angela wishing for frozen French fries is nicely retro and diabolical.

Good onya

Author's Response: Dwight level creative, but unfortunately also Dwight level effective. Not a great sleep solution. But I thought this pitch was gold the second I heard it. It's a shame, really.

Mainly I just thought Dwight would sound funny saying "Dingman." Now I kind of want to go.

Yeah, that was my attempt at at an all-time Dwight line. Not sure it really played.

Jim's change from mocking to investment in the zombie book fits. Once Jim gets involved he commits without irony.

Congratulations on finding new ways to describe Pam's doe eyes towards Jim. "pure-spun sugar" is cotton candy, and given Pam's penchant for wearing pink, it is a nice tie in. Pam's parenting style is nicely developing with both Michael and Dwight.

Author's Response: That's always the thing with Jim and Dwight - they actually have a relatively decent amount of common ground! The Venn Diagram of things that both Dwight and Jim could really get into is quite large. (The challenge here was finding something that was also timely *and* that I had a copy of already.)

I will never tire of writing descriptions of Pam giving Jim heart eyes.

Cece and Phil had nothing on Dwight and Michael. Pam was the readiest person to be a mom in television history.

1

This is wonderfully inventive, insightful, astute, and funny.
Good onya!

Welcome to MTT. This truly fleshes out Angela's foundation to become the woman we see at Dunder Mifflin. Your writing is exquisite.
Good onya.

Author's Response: Thank you!

1

I believe in headcanon What is fiction – fan or Pulitzer winning – other than the writer's headcanon? SOMETHING triggers the initial thought, and we're off to the races.

I love the title, Revive, you chose. Re=Again Vive=Live Truly fitting for post baby.

From your own words
Gabe=Impotent True in so many ways
"...the exhausting, the exhilarating, the glorious and the mundane that is new parenthood" Beautiful, succinct summation
"...his eyes flying open wide like window shades" A Looney Tunes cartoon frame flashed through my brain and cracked me up.

Good onya