10

You know the thing that's so great about this? (Well, among about a dozen reasons, that is) It's so plausible. It doesn't feel like a lot of "this is what I wish would happen" fics that I've read; this is more along the lines of "little do you know that I've got access to all the unaired footage, suckas!" :)

In addition to all that, it's sweet, it's poignant, it's funny, and all those other bits of brilliance that I've come to expect from your writing. Nicely done. Take two gold stars out of petty cash. Or better yet, let me give you five. :D

10

Whew.

Mose finally exhales.

Okay, see, THIS is what I wanted. THIS is exactly how it should have (and probably did) happen. And THIS is why I could never write a convincing Jim/Pam argument to save my life. 

Because you allowed this fight to breathe, gave it room to throw punches and get knocked down. You didn't retreat to "I'm sorry I love you let's have wild makeup sex before the fangirls start to cry." You just let it happen. Organically. Logically. Rationally. (And irrationally). Like a real fight between real people, you just let them go at it. And it was fantastic to witness.

The 2nd person narrative structure is a personal favorite of mine, and the PERFECT choice for a scene like this. It seems so much easier to convey exactly what the person is feeling when seen through that type of lens. 

I'll echo the sentiment about the "you don't know how to fight with him" line as summing up so much of what their relationship was about at that moment, but for me, everything crystalized with this passage right here:

"Time had not healed these wounds; it had actually done the reverse. You had both lived with these tiny miseries every day and gotten used to them; having them laid out now, when you’re both finally happy, amplifies their ability to hurt you"

I mean... just...  GAH. That is practiaclly SATURATED in truth. It's quite literally dripping all over my keyboard. ;)

Out of the park, do you hear me? Knocked. This. Out. Of. The. Park. 

9

A fantastic chapter, LC, and a valuable lesson for all Office writers to keep in mind (both writers of fic and the show itself): less is more. There's no need to keep going over the top like Stallone in order to try and blow your audience away. Small, subtle moments always--always--work best. 

And that's what you've accomplished here in this quiet little moment. It's subtle, but it works beautifully. 

10

Now, see, if they'd done THIS on the show... :D (I know, I know...I just need to lighten up.)

Just so you know, "feel free to improvise" caused an audible snort over here. Good thing nobody was around to hear it. :)