Talk to me, Tivo: Michael must fire someone, which puts a damper on the Halloween festivities.
Jaminess: 2 [3=Casino Night]

Jam Cam: Me-ow! It’s Halloween at our favorite paper factory and Pam is looking cute in her little cat ears and her hair in a headband instead of pulled back. Jim has dressed up as Three-Hole Punch Jim. Couldn’t the writers come up with something cuter like dressing Jim as a puppy or something? Maybe next time.

Pam questions Michael’s management skills, this time wondering why he kept pushing off a layoff until Halloween. “Because it’s very scary stuff.” So who would Pam fire? It doesn’t matter as long as she kisses the boss’s ass about his stupid paper mache head long enough to save her from the ax — or Dwight’s lightsaber.

Dwight seems to be trying to have some receptionist fun hanging out with Jim at Pam’s desk. Jim is the recipient of a lame “three-hole PUNCH” joke complete with a fake fist from Dwight. Dwight should know better by now that SchemingJam will always give out pay back. This time, our dynamic duo figures they could get rid of Dwight once and for all by posting his resume online. Their two brains work better than one bouncing ideas off of each other on how to spin Dwight’s “talents” into talents. Oh, giggling Jam, how we love thee!

Too bad Pam can’t use her conniving ways on making Angela less anal about her brownies, which are obviously not chips and dip. Pam thinks Angela is the lady in the neighborhood who gives out toothbrushes. [Note: I frankly liked getting the Halloween-themed toothbrushes from the dentist down the street when I was seven. Just sayin’.]

SchemingJam get their first reference call for Michael Scott [a.k.a Jim] in regards to Dwight, the single greatest employee of his generation. Ok. Ok ok, ok k k k k. Ok. You know the plan is going good when “Michael” hangs up and gets an air high five from the cute cat answering the phones. As if she couldn’t get cuter enough, the look she and Jim exchange as they overhear Dwight explaining the importance of martial art training is just priceless.

But there seems to be some stormy water up ahead concerning the Cumberland Mills job Dwight’s “going after” in Maryland. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you should go for that job,” Pam says. Um, it’s in an office where you aren’t, Jim laments. Jim starts to look bitter. Wait, wait, don’t make Jim become bitter! No, SchemingJam was so cute! Don’t stop with the SchemingJam! Argh! This Halloween episode is starting to get scary for alot of us, Jim included.

Jim goes off to talk about what he believes is going on in Michael’s head only to have Michael interrupt Jim’s talking head. Michael takes the paper mache Halloween head off and closes the blinds. This can’t be good. What are you doing? You can’t fire Jim! Oh good, Michael’s not firing Jim. He just needs to make Jim pretend to fire someone. Apparently, Michael is the employee from Hell who is going to jump off of a bridge or something and Jim is much better at playing manager than his boss is.

Wow. That whole thing freaked Pam out so much she felt the need to grab Jim’s hand in the hope he would tell her that he wasn’t the one on the chopping block. Too bad Jim’s still pissed off about her earlier comment about his job to appreciate the fact that Pam is holding his hand. Pay attention to the important stuff!

It’s ok. All will be fine with a simple apology from Pam — or a more complex apology from Pam involving the threat of shooting herself in the head if he left. We’ll take that, too. “All it means is that we’re friends. And who else is she going to talk to if I’m gone?” Hmm…I can’t actually think of anyone else so now you have to stay forever, Jim.

The Others: Michael has to fire someone — now — which makes the day even more scarier than the freaky paper mache head on his shoulder. After trying to fire Stanley via Dwight and practicing how to fire someone with Jim, he finally sets his sights on Creed. Being the blood-sucking fiend that he is in his vampire costume, Creed talks Michael into passing the pink slip to Devon. Meanwhile, SchemingJam get Dwight all hyped up on the idea that someone else wants a Sith Lord to sell their paper products until Dwight realizes his kung fu skills would not be appreciated in a new office. [By the way, nice job to whoever was responsible for buying the proper colored lightsaber for Dwight’s Sith Lord costume. You are a gentleman and scholar. Or you’re a woman. And I’m a lame Star Wars nerd for noticing.]

What have we learned today, kids: If you want to get downsized, dress up as a hobo for Halloween; if you want a good costume, three pieces of circular paper are lame compared to a $129 lightsaber; and if you want to be a great paper salesman, get some kung fu skills.

– written by Jenny


Pam: [quietly] Ok, greatest strength. A dog-like obedience to authority?
Jim: Nice.
Pam: But that doesn’t sound good.
Jim: Ok, ok. How about the ultimate team player?

Jim: Dwight is special. But, I don’t believe his talents are being used in this office. So Pam and I have put his resume on Monster.com, Google, Craig’s List. We’re really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. Preferably Alaska…or India.

Pam: He’s a gun nut.
Jim: Sticks to his guns.

Pam: Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Uh, yeah. [snaps her fingers to get Jim’s attention] Just one second. I will transfer you to our manager, Michael Scott.
Jim: Michael Scott here. Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice. Dwight Schrute is amazing. Yeah. No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation. You know what? I’m gonna tell you what. You hire Dwight K. Schrute, and he does not meet, nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, well then, you can hold me, Michael Gary Scott, personally and financially responsible. Ok. Ok ok, ok k k k k. Ok.

Pam: Jim is really talented and he should be the one who’s getting a better job offer. Like, for real.

Pam: Don’t take this the wrong way, but you should go for that job.
Jim: Um, it’s in Maryland.
Pam: Yeah, but I mean, look at the salary and it’s definitely a step up and a challenge.
Jim: Yeah. Yeah, you know what? Maybe…maybe I will.
Pam: Jim.

Pam: What happened?
Jim: It wasn’t me.
Pam: Oh. That was like crazy because I was…
Jim: Yeah, I know.

Pam: Oh hey, Jim. Wait, stop. Um, I’m sorry for pushing you towards Cumberland. Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out.
Jim: Come on.

Jim: That’s just a figure of speech, you know? Blow your brains out? Come on. All it really means is that we’re friends. I mean, who else is she gonna talk to if I’m gone, right? I mean, if she left, I wouldn’t blow my brains out. Of course, I would take that job in Maryland because it’s double the pay and soft shell crab just happens to be my favorite food.

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