Talk to me, Tivo: Michael surprises his boss when he and Jan try to attract a new client.
Jaminess: 3 [3=Casino Night]
Jam Cam: You know it’s going to be a good day when Jam share a quick smirk as Pam artfully throws Michael’s dry-cleaned jeans under her desk.
Michael and Jan are trying to pick up a big client that, if successful, could save the branch from downsizing and allow Jim to work at Dunder Mifflin for years…and years…and years. Does anyone else ever get the feeling that his future looks exactly like that if Pam never leaves?
While Michael and Jan are talking about the serious details for the potential new client, the rest of the office is working hard comparing bad first dates in the kitchen. Pam thinks she wins for a minor league hockey game in which her date and his brother left her behind…and yet somehow, she is now engaged to that guy. Jim finds this revelation interesting, but he says “interesting” in a way that makes it sound like he’s filing that information away to be used for future purposes…like wooing Pam from Roy.
Pam gets a call from Michael who is in desperate need of a joke to tell at the lunch that he’s already at so Pam pulls out his joke books and starts reading them all off. The best joke of them all is what she finds when she puts the joke books away: a movie script written by none other than Michael Scott. She promptly drops the tome on Jim’s desk who compliments her on her good work on finding such a gold mine. SchemingJam has come to the rescue when the boss is away!
With script in hand, Jim organizes the Scranton Dunder Mifflinites Thespian Troupe with the office crowded in the conference room, each with their own copy of The Adventures of Michael Scarn. To show just how able Jim is to diffuse any volatile situation and make everyone happy, he figures the best way to get Dwight to along with all of this is to have him play the role of Agent Scarn. Why can’t Jim ever use any of this talent to get Pam away from Roy? Jim, focus…but not on being troupe leader. Besides, it looks like Jim’s duties are over when the whole reading gets derailed by Dwigt�I mean, Dwight. Stupid spell check.
Jim had plans he had to cancel and Pam’s hungry so he uses Michael’s absence as an excuse to make her his famous grilled cheese sandwiches to eat on the roof. Awwww! And Pam brings a candle up — for the bugs. Awwww! Then she mentions that she doesn’t remember the last time anyone made her dinner. It breaks your heart because Roy lives with her but can’t figure out how to even use a microwave, and yet you get warm and fuzzy knowing Jim was the who broke that streak. Plus, Jim’s little smirk boosts the warm and fuzzy factor.
The kids eventually give up on Michael — when is that guy going to close the deal? — and decide to head out. Jim pulls out his iPod, Pam asks for half his headphones, and Jam bond over a Travis song while either swaying or dancing in the night air.
And then Michael and Jan kiss. I know this has nothing to do with Jam, but it’s kind of a big deal.
Holy wha? Is this the next day? Woah. The Office is totally throwing us for a loop. Just like some might think Michael and Jan had their first date last night, others may think the same about Jim and Pam. Although this time it appears the “others” in question may just be Jim. There was dinner by candlelight, a fireworks display, and dancing, at least according to Jim. Pam seems to think it was swaying and not dancing. Jim is having none of that and takes a low swipe saying “At least I didn’t leave you at a hockey game.” Oh, burn! Pam gets pissy and uses her faxes as an excuse to walk away. Besides, in the end, it’s all good. It’s not really a date if the girl goes home to her fiance. Right?
The little shrug Michael and Jim share at the end pretty much explains it all.
The Others: Michael and Jan get together and form the Dunder-Mifflin Super Sales Team to get the paper contract for the entire county. Michael screws up everything at the lunch with stupid jokes, an Awesome Blossom — extra awesome, a bad rendition of Chili’s baby back ribs theme song, and a delving into his boss’s divorce. Despite all that, when the chips are down, he somehow puts on the charm and seals the deal, then adds a kiss with Jan for dessert. Woah, what? In the meantime, the rest of the office seems content to be entertained by Agent Michael Scarn and rumors that Jan left her car in the parking lot overnight and she got it on with Michael.
What have we learned today, kids: Sometimes it’s better to just keep your mouth shut instead of telling the truth. For example, stating the obvious about an entertaining night looking like a date when the person you had the date with is in denial about the whole situation. Ditto for kissing and telling.
– written by Jenny
Oscar: She had done a background check on me, she had it printed out…
Oscar: Yea, and she was asking me about stuff line by line while we were having dinner.
Ryan: That is unbelievable.
Pam: What’s going on?
Jim: We are doing worst first dates.
Pam: Oh my God, I win. Ok, it was a minor league hockey game, he brought his brother, and when I went to the bathroom, the game ended and they forgot about me.
Oscar: Ok, that’s a joke.
Pam: No, they had to come back for me.
Jim: Wait, when was this?
Pam: It was not that long ago.
Kelly: Wait, not Roy? Say it’s not your fiance.
Jim: I always knew Pam has refused to go to sports games with Roy, but I never knew why…interesting.
Jim: Is this real?
Pam: It is a screenplay — starring himself.
Jim: Agent Michael Scarn.
Pam: Of the FBI.
Jim: How long is this? Oh Pam, good work. Oh wait, stop. Drawings.
Pam: What is that?
Jim: Oh those are drawings in case the writing didn’t really put a picture in your head. And there he is, in the flesh, Agent Michael Scarn. Now we know what he looks like.
Jim: Do we all have our copy of “Threat Level Midnight” by Michael Scott?
Jim: Alright, let’s get this started. I’m going to be reading the action descriptions and Phyllis, I would like you to play Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Phyllis: That’s the character’s name?
Jim: Oh yea.
Dwight: You guys should not be doing this.
Jim: Why not, Dwight? This is a movie. I mean, this is for all of America to enjoy.
Dwight: You took something that doesn’t belong to you. brought it in here, made copies of it.
Jim: Do you want to play the lead role of Agent Michael Scarn?
Pam: Michael’s sidekick, who all through the movie is this complete idiot who’s causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named Dwight, but then Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace. But that doesn’t work on misspelled words, leaving behind one “Dwigt.” And Dwight figured it out. Oops.
Dwight: Ok, you know what? I am done with this. That’s it, the end.
Jim: Well, some of us want to keep reading, so…
Dwight: Uh, you don’t speak for everyone, Jim. Ok, announcement. My uncle bought me some fireworks and anyone who wants to see a real show can come with me outside now.
Jim: That’s actually a good idea, we’ll all take a brief intermission. [turns to Pam] Hey, are you hungry?
Jim: I had plans to meet a friend tonight, which I had to cancel, but this is cool too. I’m not a complainer.
Pam: For the bugs.
Jim: Nice. That’s excellent because bugs love�my famous grilled cheese sandwich.
Pam: Yes! Nice. I can’t remember the last time someone made me dinner.
Jim: So, I guess I’ll see you in�10 hours.
Pam: What are you going to do with your time off?
Jim: Travel. I’ve been looking forward to it. It’s going to be really nice. I’m going to find myself.
Pam: You have new music?
Jim: Yea. Definitely.
[Jim gives her a earbud to listen to Travis’s “Sing.”]
Jim: Jan didn’t come back for her car last night.
Jim: Could it be that Agent Michael Scarn has finally found his Catherine Zeta?
Pam: Oh, I don’t know. [phone rings] Oh my God. This is Jan’s cell!
Jim: No way.
Pam: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. [she transfers the call and hangs up] Jim: Some might even say we had our first date last night.
Pam: Oh really?
Pam: Why might some say that?
Jim: Because there was dinner — by candlelight.
Pam: Uh huh.
Jim: Dinner and a show, if you include Michael’s movie, and there was dancing and fireworks. Pretty good date.
Pam: We didn’t dance.
Jim: You’re right, we didn’t dance. It was more like swaying, but still romantic.
Pam: Swaying isn’t dancing.
Jim: At least I didn’t leave you at a high school hockey game.
Pam: I have some faxes to get out.
Jim: Oh, come on. Pam, I’m…
Jim: Ok, we didn’t dance and I was totally joking anyway. I mean, it’s not really a date if the girl goes home to her fiance. Right?