Date: February 28, 2007 01:26 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ahhhhhhhh! I read this a while back but I must have fainted from the sheer awesomeness of it, because I never reviewed. (and that's just inexcusable!)
Okay, I'm about to quote a big chunk of this, 'cause that's just how I am. This here:
But you'd misinterpreted. You'd misinterpreted something so basic in your understanding of the world and all of a sudden the sky was violet and the grass was red. Dwight was pleasant and you knew nothing. So you ran. Because, really, what else can you do when the sky could fall on you at any minute?
Is some damn fine writing. The whole thing flows so beautifully and effortlessly. It's stream of consciousness, but it's not messy. It's perfect. Such a good explanation of what was going on in Jim's mind.
Oh, and lest I forget the ending let me just say HOLY COW. So beautiful. Can't compliment this enough.
Date: February 03, 2007 01:45 pm Title: Chapter 1
This made me smile.
Thanks so much.
cheers.
--Lex
Date: February 03, 2007 11:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Sweet and well done.
Date: February 03, 2007 04:26 am Title: Chapter 1
Amazing!! For something that you were nervous about posting, actually, this is freaking brilliant. [I liked it better than Unbreak Unbroken, actually, and I thought I liked that - this is awesome.]
Especially the way it was written. I love the way this flows, how there're contradictions and similarities and differences: how the fact that he loves her and she loves him is something so basic in his world, how when she said that wasn't true, that he'd misinterpreted, it turned his world around, completely. I loved that image. I love that the sky was violet, the grass was red, Dwight was pleasant, and he knew nothing.
And she's hesitant and she's scared. The world rights itself and you're standing on the ground for the first time in months. Ohhh. And when he kisses her again and his world spins over again? I adore that it's like she's his anchor, holding him back on the ground.
Perfect in more ways than I can say in one lousy review, and a gold star for imagery! Can't wait to see even more from you!
9 [Report This]Date: February 03, 2007 12:09 am Title: Chapter 1
It was comfortable. You hated that about her, but it was always just another trait you'd always known, accepted. It was her flaw. Like knuckle cracking. Like an obnoxious laugh.
THIS I LOVE. Because it's exactly how I think Jim would feel. Man. This was absolutely great. Keep writing!
Date: February 02, 2007 11:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
Beautiful. Great job!
Date: February 02, 2007 07:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I thought it was beautiful!
Date: February 02, 2007 06:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
The idea that he fell so hard for her because she was unattainable rings loudly true to me...soul-mates or not, it's always more tempting when you're not supposed to have it. The fact that you managed to tell it in so few words makes this an excercise in wonderful writing. That the few words you chose are perfect and beautifully phrased makes it art. This is really a lovely piece.
I want to quote you some lines, but I must keep myself from pasting the entire story into the review. This: "The sky was blue and the grass was green. Paper was a dead end job and Dwight was a moron. You were in love with her and she was in love with you. Unspoken, but accepted by all." Brilliantly summed up and true! And this: "The world rights itself and you're standing on the ground for the first time in months." Man I can't wait for that moment! When it all makes sense again. Thanks for writing. I look forward to more things from you.
Author's Response:
You're gonna make me cry. That was the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my writing. Wow. Thank you.
Honestly, this story is actually really personal for me and it's so great to know that it touched you. Just, wow. Thank you so much!
Date: February 02, 2007 06:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
Very emotional and beautifully written. Loved the ending.
Author's Response: I'm glad you did! Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: February 02, 2007 05:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
But you're back now and she's flawless, even though she always was to you.
This is insanely beautiful. How simple and direct and colorful this is. This is how it feels to be Jim when it comes to Pam. Thank you for being brave and posting it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! This whole story just kinda came out all at once so I'm so glad that anyone was able to follow it, let alone that it was in any way eloquent. So great to hear! Thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: February 02, 2007 04:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is Dudders, so you've already heard my thoughts, but I wanted to review anyway - this is beautiful, and I hope you'll be writing more stories.
"And you can't interpret anything anymore because the sky is still on the ground." LOVE.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for everything! It's just such a great thing when a line or a phrase seems so perfect in your head and then you find out that it actually conveys something to someone else as well... It's really nice to know. Thanks again!
10 [Report This]Date: February 02, 2007 04:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well, you already know my thoughts on this. :-) Please write more!
Author's Response: And I'm still thankful for them:-)
Date: February 02, 2007 04:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
precious! i love it. it's such a sweet little idea, and i love the imagery. great job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!