8 [Report This]Date: April 08, 2007 06:10 am Title: Ain't the Beer Cold?
I love that you've spent time on Jim's ambitions. You're right - we tend to gloss over things that might be important to him when we write - or at least I know I'm guilty.
He already is an excellent manager - and that you have him realizing there is no shame in it is perfect. Really lovely job showing how they are both so appreciative of one another - even if Pam was a little bit bossy at the baseball game. ;)
And baseball. Sigh. As someone who froze her ass off and had to drink hot chocolate instead of lemonade yesterday I have to agree the stadium is a happy place. Esp. when you are rewarded for sitting in the cold by a walk off grand slam in the bottom of the ninth. ;)
Author's Response:
As a Red Sox fan I fear I wasn't quite as happy about that particular grand slam, but kudos for your endurance. I think it's trickier to write about Jim growing than Pam growing, for one thing because there is no obvious avenue for it, like art for Pam. I think it's a common issue in life, though, for lots of people to sort of officially join the establishment they've always looked down on without feeling like a sell out. I could defiitely see Jim as having to sort through that.
It's fun writing about them as a happy couple given how miserable they are on the show right now. Brighter days ahead, I hope. Thanks for the review!
Date: April 07, 2007 09:17 pm Title: Staring at the Ceiling
That's so true about Jim not getting much credit for growing up a bit...even if he is being an ass on the show right now :) I like how you characterize him as being able to take on the position of manager at DM and that he has been thinking about what he would change; I think he has quite a list in his head.
Author's Response: Thanks...the Jim on the show right now isn't the real Jim, it's a case study of what happens when someone gets hurt and buries their feelings and becomes a shell of their true self. I do think once Jim gets through that he would be a good manager and it would be interesting to see it portrayed on the show down the road.
Date: April 05, 2007 04:15 pm Title: Battle of the Levinsons
Michael has these random moments of clarity - so though I think his reaction if Jan initally rejected him would be something inane and completely over the top - maybe in this instance he would be a tad more reserved. It would make sense knowing that Jan must have to constantly keep him in check.
RE: Your portrayal of Jan - the way you've written her thought process is exactly what I imagine she's thinking.
So kudos to you!
Author's Response: Thanks fo the kudos! I have to believe Michael isn't completely self delusional and might be willing to work very hard to adjust his behavior to capture her heart, and, while I don't know that Jan would be actually be conscious of a line between her persona and her inner self I do think it describes her conflict.
Date: April 05, 2007 04:09 pm Title: The Least Imperfect Man
I think your take on Pam's art is incredibly realistic. And your depiction of Jim here is spot on. The way you have him interacting with the people who've attended the show is everything I love about him.
I also adore any time Pam is clear in her affections for him so this line was my favorite.
“I love you more than you can possibly know,” she said. “And you are so getting lucky later.”
Wonderful job.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think Jim truly would shine in that situation. And I like to thik Pam would notice it and appreciate and reward it.
Date: April 05, 2007 03:09 pm Title: The Least Imperfect Man
Actually, I think the gallery owner who dismissed Pam's work as "not yet" was the most realistic reaction to Pam's art that you could have done. It's not like she has been studying since first grade; she's still very new at this. I think this chapter read very honestly.
Author's Response: I love Pam so much I have this tendency to want to write her life as sort of a fairy tale; I tried to avoid that here. Thanks so much for all your generous reviews.
Date: April 05, 2007 03:07 pm Title: Just Look at Her
Feel this. Feel how much I love you. Know that even if I disappear for a minute, I will always, always, come back
Ooooo so so sweet. I love this line.
Author's Response: Thanks so much...that's my personal favorite.
Date: April 05, 2007 03:03 pm Title: The Saddest Man in the Stadium
Lisa instructing them to have makeup sex is priceless. :) That is such a Michael Scott thing for her to do!
Author's Response: I imagine Lisa as being really salty and completely unafraid to be offensive...that line definiely conveys how I imagne the character.
Date: April 05, 2007 03:00 pm Title: Pam's Occasional Lack of Music
How wonderful to see Jim focusing on Pam's moods, trying very hard to be so sensitive to her. Nice to think there are actually guys in the world who do that. :) I love Pam becoming a born-again feminist, but it's funny that she then turns around and not only takes Jim's name but gets married barefoot. :) Next we will see her pregnant, in the kitchen, no? (kidding!)
I am enjoying this very much.
Author's Response:
This may sound pretentious, but I sort of think of being barefoot as going along with being uninhibited and not caring too much what people think, so I've used that a few times in the story to convey that in Pam's character, such as when she takes off her heels at the show. Thanks for the feedback. No pregnant Pam yet, maybe the fourth art show.
6 [Report This]Date: April 05, 2007 02:55 pm Title: Art as a Spectator Sport
Redwood? giggle I love it! Especially the image of Jim getting that email from Pam and blushing at his desk. Hooyah!
Author's Response: I wondered if that would just seem too vulgar and Todd Packeresque. Glad you liked it.
Date: April 05, 2007 10:02 am Title: Battle of the Levinsons
I really liked how you wrote Jan in this. I think her conflict between her two selves was spot on.
Author's Response: Thanks...I think Jan is such a fascinating character. Coming up with a plausible theory of her connection with Michael is a fun challenge.
Date: April 05, 2007 07:27 am Title: Battle of the Levinsons
I really liked your analysis of Jan and Michael! I don't read much J/M fic so I don't know others' take on them, but I think you are spot on about why Jan could be with Michael, something all of us (and those in the Office universe) are mystified by.
And I thought your take on Pam's art show was really realistic. I'd say even gallery sholws by more established artists have mixed reactions like that -- it only makes sense that Pam's first show wouldn't "take the art world by storm."
Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thank you. I've thought about the Jan/Michale thing more than anyone really should. As for the art show, I'm really writing blind as far as my knowledge of that goes, so it's nice to get such feedback.
Date: April 05, 2007 07:10 am Title: Battle of the Levinsons
I actually think this is a pretty acurate portayal of Jan and why she is so drawn to Michael.
This: thanks for everything, but could you get the hell out of here so I can fuck my husband?
Awesome.
Author's Response: Thanks. I worry that my Pam is a little too bawdy for some tastes, but I have to admit I kind of liked that line myself.
Date: April 04, 2007 10:53 pm Title: Battle of the Levinsons
I really enjoyed your Jan and Michael, especially your characterization/psychoanalysis of Jan. So spot-on!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I think we can look forward to seeing more of them a a couple on the show, we'll see how they play it.
Date: April 04, 2007 10:41 pm Title: Battle of the Levinsons
Nice work! I love your take on Michael. I don't often think about Michael REALIZING his own shortcomings or being conscious enough of others to recognize his insecurity. That was great. Then of course there's Pam wanting to very bluntly do a few things with Jim...very nice!
Author's Response: Thank you. I find Michael tricky to write. I think, though, the fact that he wants so badly to connect with others, have a relationship, a family, and meets with such limited success must make it hard for him to completely delude himself.
Date: April 04, 2007 09:57 pm Title: Battle of the Levinsons
I think you did a good job!
Author's Response: Thanks!
Date: April 04, 2007 09:15 pm Title: Battle of the Levinsons
Even before I saw your chapter end notes, I was going to comment on how well your explanation of their relationship worked. It made a lot of sense to me, Jan's facade vs. her f'd-up inner self.
Please continue to get your ideas out there!!
Author's Response: Thanks...I can't seem to resist amateur psycholanalysis and worry that it will strike readers as pretentious and boring.
Date: April 04, 2007 09:08 pm Title: The Least Imperfect Man
I think this is great. I love Pam's thoughts about the least imperfect man, and the "B plus salesman" with the "C minus effort". Wonderful. Those two paragraphs about Jim and what he did to make the party a success and how he was able to do them were just... great. (/Jim)
Author's Response: Thank you! Jim is so low key and not prone to boasting, but I like to think that he knows very well what he brings to the table.
Date: April 04, 2007 09:03 pm Title: Battle of the Levinsons
Loved the Jan insight. I think things will work out that way for them eventually.
And "could you get the hell out of here so I can fuck my husband?" is friggin priceless. I will have to remember that one for future reference.
Author's Response:
Thanks...I defintely like writing exasperated, horny Pam. And I agree about Michael and Jan. Also, I saw your TWoP comment about the term "art." I've never been an art guy and am probably guilty of using it in that unrealistic way you describe. I will adjust.
Date: April 03, 2007 09:03 pm Title: Just Look at Her
This was unbelievable! Honestly this has to be one of my most favorite JAM sex scenes ever, it is honest, it is beautiful and it is so very loving. I adore the 9 verys, this is very JAM.
Seriously I think this is the best thing you've written and I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Wow, your very generous reviews truly made my day. Re the sex scene...I wanted to convey something deeply loving, but was afraid it was over the top, so to hear that it worked for you is gratifying. As for Jim, my portrayal of him in the angsty chapters is fairly autobiographical; I've had the exact same issues and felt similar emotions, have even fallen into a troubled sleep watching Sportscenter. I hope you and the hubby made up as happily as Pam and Jim did. New chapters are up, hope you like them. My very sincere thanks for all your feedback and for your own great stories.
Date: April 03, 2007 08:49 pm Title: The Saddest Man in the Stadium
"Okay, kids, this isn’t going to do. We can’t have a party with this thing floating around. Neither of you leaves this room until you have talked through this and preferably had make up sex. No bullshit. No attacking. You’re adults and you love each other, so act like it. I’m going to go start setting up and expect that by the afternoon you will be joining me.”
I love this woman! Can we get her on the real show pronto?
But really, the emotional one-two punch continues huh? I really do think that you're improving with every chapter and you have a terrific ability to convey the character's emotions.....I think it is really helpful to see a man's take on Jim, so often it is women writing what he is thinking....no wonder that doesn't ring true.
Great job again......
Date: April 03, 2007 08:40 pm Title: Disappearing Acts
"She turned away again and broke into a run back into the house, leaving a stunned Jim wondering if anyone got the name of the truck that just hit him."
Wow, this is a heart wrenching chapter, course again I feel like i've had this conversation with my husband. which reminds me i should go apologize right now......
You have done a great job conveying the emotion in these chapters though. I felt Jim's powerlessness, and Pam's anger. Really good.
Date: April 03, 2007 08:31 pm Title: Pam's Occasional Lack of Music
Sorry this took my so long to review, I've been having a hard time keeping up with the reading/reviewing. I want to tell you i think this is one of the most insightful chapters i've seen into male/female relationships - bravo! Seriously I'm going to make my husband read it because we've had this exact argument more than once. Well written, realistic and close to home, great job!
Date: April 02, 2007 07:36 am Title: Art as a Spectator Sport
this was very sweet, I loved the fact that they just fell asleep first before jumping each other, afterall the next best thing after make up sex is the make up nap :) I have to admit I was a little creeped out by Pam's mentor still being downstairs. I mean I loved her kicking them in the pants, but to wait downstairs for them to finish- a little creepy. Great story, can't wait for more! I love sucessful Pam stories :) Oh and I'm so glad you enjoy my work, that means a lot
Author's Response: Thanks! You know, I didn't think of the creepiness factor there...in my mind Lisa was just going about her business, getting ready for the show, probably bringing in pictures. I didn't think of her as particualrly listening in on the action. I liked the make up nap too...I thought if I were Jim there I would have been so exhausted and so ready to just rest with her close to me.
Date: April 01, 2007 07:18 pm Title: Just Look at Her
Yay for make-up sex! And for learning how to deal when your spouse is going through a rough time. Again, I really like that you are exploring the bumpy parts of Pam & Jim's relationship.
Author's Response:
Thanks as always, Hoo. (and an extra thanks for the TWoP mention).
Date: April 01, 2007 12:53 am Title: Art as a Spectator Sport
Hey there, Brokenloon! I just read through 2nd Art Show and now I love both parts even more. Man, I can relate to Pam. Just feeling at your wits end and depressed and not really needing it "fixed" just really wanting to be listened to. BUT, I can totally see Jim's side too and she absolutely had some apologizing to do as well. He was only trying to help by calling the mom who she LOVES so much! lol. Ok...hey, just read your feedback to my feedback - go ahead and email me: Novalie@aol.com