Date: April 17, 2007 10:58 am Title: Endgame
Even if I owned one I wouldn't wear it. Floss is for your teeth!" - HAHA! Such a great line!
Wow, I felt so sorry and like, wow for Karen. That is horrible. I can't even imagine. FYI - that thought is totally going to stick with me.
This is a totally odd thing, and why I am mentioning it I don't really know. But, me and my friends passed notes in highschool. And one time, we were writing about unborn children. Except, apparently, I really forget whose writing it was, the b looked like a p. and so, we were having unporn children. which just was the oddest thing ever. And so, when I read unborn children, I just had to comment on my odd memories
I don't care about cheesy endings, cause I think I have a pretty goofy grin on my face right now :).
Date: April 17, 2007 10:48 am Title: Unwelcome
I like ow you bring in Michael as a good salesman. They really did show that side of him in The Client. And its true. He couldn't have become a manager if he is an inept as he seems.
One MINOR thing is for the 30,000 copies, I would stick that comma in there... its just my personal preference, though, really.
The bird caught fire!!?!?! Haha! Wait, its horrible that I am laughing at it!
Date: April 17, 2007 07:35 am Title: Twisting the Knife
Haha. I like how you were talking about Jim not really being able to hate his competition. It made me think of two things - I think he was able to in Basketball with Roy. And for me, it wasn't about hating the competition. it was about hating myself. Whenever we were losing, I was pissed at myself - like, why did I let them get that goal. I am not getting off this field until I score another goal. This lead to a LOT of injuries for me, but, I was a star athlete. So, it all works out.
Okay, and then I read the rest of the paragraph and you mention Basketball (Yes, I comment as I go... I am odd. And I apparently don't even wait until i finish the paragraph)
I love your description of Pam in the break room and Jim's thoughts. It breaks my heart a bit more. Although, makes it better in a way. Because even though Jim was an ass, reading this makes it better... I don't really know how to explain it.
Oooh, I can't wait for the next chapter (and yes, I know it is already posted)
Author's Response:
"This lead to a LOT of injuries for me."
Yikes, what did you play? Field Hockey? Soccer? I'm sure you're on-field self-hatred is an interesting, but no doubt effective way to get an edge. I've always played soccer, and for me it's the fear of losing... I get so riled up thinking about how lousy I'm going to feel if we lose, and then I play better. Whatever works, right? Hey thanks for all the feedback!
Date: April 10, 2007 11:40 pm Title: Unwelcome
"You don't deserve to smile, Beesly" is the best Jim line I've read in a long, long time.
Date: April 10, 2007 09:15 pm Title: Endgame
Oh, thank GOD! I mean, sad for Karen, but we all know there's nothin' but Jam.
Date: April 10, 2007 04:12 pm Title: Endgame
The poor thing. She had no idea what was coming next.
*laughs maniacally* I can't WAIT to be able to think this on the show.... Great job! I love Jim's thoughts and how he really can't be happy with Karen. I love it! :)
8 [Report This]Date: April 10, 2007 03:48 pm Title: Endgame
Loved the ending - especially this line - "You won't have to wait long, Beesly." Yay!
Date: April 10, 2007 02:45 pm Title: Endgame
That was pretty angsty; was that supposed to be fluff? I liked it, whatever you want to call it. I definitely don't think it's cheesy at all. I like how Pam says she wants more than that, but doesn't make it an ultimatum! No one likes an ultimatum!
Thank goodness in your story Pam just doesn't accept "I'm leaving". The way the show has gone this season, she might. "I'm leaving" would be quite a blow to Pam's grief bone.
Good story!
Date: April 10, 2007 02:11 pm Title: Endgame
Not bad, mark it complete if it's done. :p
Author's Response: Ooh good eye. thanks!
Date: April 10, 2007 01:45 pm Title: Endgame
Never expcted him to considerf leaving again, but it makes sense. Being in Scranton (but not with Pam) was killing the essence of who Jim is.
Good thing Pam set him straight, though! Can't wait to see how he sorts it all out. More please!
Date: April 10, 2007 01:44 pm Title: Unwelcome
Hmph. Who is this Dan character and what's he doing to Jim? You've got me, I'm intrigued.
Date: April 09, 2007 09:47 pm Title: The Breaking Point
Aww, I knew Angry New Jim would have to revert to Sweet Caring Jim eventually. I kinda hope he stays that way. That's my favorite Jim. :)
Date: April 09, 2007 10:57 am Title: The Breaking Point
OOOH EXCITEMENT!
Date: April 09, 2007 10:01 am Title: The Breaking Point
I know "enjoying" shouldn't be the right word for how I feel about this. Maybe I should say I'm devouring this or I'm fascinated by this. I love getting into Dark!Jim's ... mind. (Did you think I was going somewhere else with that?)
I like this line: "Nothing had ever been right, so he had to make things right for the first time." I'm wondering what Jim is going to say to Pam. Probably that varies, based on whether you're spoiled or not. (I hope you're spoiled; then this can fit in for longer! Umm... TWSS.)
Anyway - devouring, fascinated.
Author's Response: Uh oh, I'm not spoiled right now, but am sooo very tempted! I basically have zero willpower when it comes to spoilers. Thanks for the feedback!
Date: April 08, 2007 10:12 pm Title: Unwelcome
Angry!Jim! Oh, yeah.
I actually don't like Dan, and haven't seen much likable about him to attract Karen and possibly Pam. Maybe I'm just immune to Dan. Not to Legolas, though (no one is). I agree you'd have to bring someone else in; none of our Office guys will do.
Author's Response: Thanks for the insight. He was supposed to be a minimally developed "anti-Roy" but I think he came across as a bit of an arrogant manipulative punk. He'll do, though since he's just here to stir the pot!
Date: April 08, 2007 10:02 pm Title: Twisting the Knife
Wow. Dark!Angry!Jim. This was really excellent. I'm so glad there's another chapter right away.
The last little bit about it being a fun little world is maybe too dark for my taste. I love the line "He had twisted the knife in her, in Pam. Pam." There, he at least knows he was awful! He scared himself; he scared me a bit too. Are you channeling DinkinFlicka's Dark!Jim from "Dirt"? (The full title is something like And you can have it all, my dark empire of dirt.) Yikes!
So, I am curious to see what happens next, so I will go on to the next chapter!
Date: April 08, 2007 07:36 pm Title: Unwelcome
Wow -- a very different side of both Jim and Karen -- dark & twisted. Me likey.
And I've officially bought a ticket for wherever this train is headed....
Date: April 08, 2007 06:51 pm Title: Unwelcome
wow, I was wondering what would tip the scales in the other direction. Great story.
Date: April 08, 2007 04:18 pm Title: Unwelcome
Mmmmmm....Legolas. Okay, I can understand the attraction now. ;)
Date: April 08, 2007 04:01 pm Title: Twisting the Knife
I think it's funny how we're writing the same story except your hot new guy is a badass and mine is a sweetheart. But we both have Jealous!Jim. My favorite, I like how mean your's is. Can't wait for the fall!
Author's Response: Hey thanks. I've always liked your work a lot, but I've been so busy writing that I've gotten behind on my reading. I just read your story and its really neat to compare the different ways we torture Angry New Halpert.
10 [Report This]Date: April 08, 2007 03:11 pm Title: Unwelcome
Go Pam! i want Newjim to get hit by a bus. Great story keep it coming!
Date: April 08, 2007 11:05 am Title: Twisting the Knife
Cannot wait to see where you are going with this!
Date: April 07, 2007 09:31 pm Title: Twisting the Knife
*cue dramatic music*
I'm enjoying this. Good luck with further continuations!
Date: April 07, 2007 05:43 pm Title: Twisting the Knife
This rekindles all the hate I felt for Jim in that break room scene on Thursday...but it's really really well written. As least you make Jim's spite poetic :) Good job!
Date: April 07, 2007 04:50 pm Title: Twisting the Knife
oh man this is so depressing but so good at the same time. Love how you've gotten inside Jim's head and are exploring the dark side of him. You've captured his resignation and bitterness towards Pam really well, as well as his twisted enjoyment in intentionally hurting her. this is really good
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback -- much appreciated! Jim has been so hard to watch lately -- so cold to Pam (and Karen too for that matter). Anyway I finished this story with a healthy dose of wishful thinking applied. Thanks!