Date: May 25, 2007 10:48 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
OMG, I LOVE this!!! First of all, the circular yet progressing thinking is genius - love how you show his state of mind! And "women are different" - hee :) Also, the speed he's going is an amazing touch - really really shows where he is and how he's thinking. I just really love this, ya dig? Great job. Oh, and great line: Welcome to Pennsylvania. Damn right.
Author's Response: Thanks. It was fun to put myself in his place and try to imagine his process. I think he would have been very happy to see the Welcome to Pennsylvania sign
10 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2007 10:08 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
This was just exactly right- sounds just like I imagine Jim thinks, sweetness & matter of factness all at once...
Author's Response: Thanks. That's a good description of him, I think.
Date: May 25, 2007 08:19 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Great read! You did a good job maintaining the tension throughout the story. Even though Jim had a lot of time to think during this drive, I think he would have been too panicked to keep his mind in one place for long. I liked how you had him constantly reeling himself in from thinking too much about the future or the past. Nice work!
Author's Response: Thanks...I didn't think of this as especially tense or dramstic since we knew it had a happy outcome, but I'm glad people found it so.
Date: May 25, 2007 07:16 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
this is SO great. i just love that we get to see what was going on in his mind during this drive. we didn't get to see much of it in the episode, but that look on his face seems to lead directly to his fic. i love how excited he is about everything and how you're constantly going from his love/lust for pam to what's actually going on around him in the car. it's funny and sweet and very Jim Halpert. great work.
Author's Response: Thanks..as much as I loved the episoide it would have been nice to get a little more of Jim's side of things than we got. Glad you liked my take on him.
Date: May 25, 2007 06:34 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
I love the last first date idea -- so yay for including it. Love how Jim rationalizes speeding just a little more each time. Heh.
And this is a great bit of 'stream of consciousness':
God I have missed her.
What the hell have I been doing?...
No wonder I’ve felt so weird.
No need to explain that the narrative might seem choppy -- we get that it's Jim crazy brain trying to figure out what the hell he's going to do. Nicely done
Author's Response: Thanks 'hoo. I like the thought of Jim snapping out of his karen-corporate funk and looking back at it in bewilderment.
10 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2007 06:19 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
That was just great. So real, especially the snapping back and forth from his internal thoughts to his speed, green lights, etc... Immediately going into my favs.
Author's Response: Thanks, so glad you liked it. Always nice to be a fave.
Date: May 25, 2007 06:11 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
I like how as he drives faster it seems like it is taking longer. that happens to me all the time when i am in a hurry
Author's Response:
For me, there's often a moment in a trip when I see a mileage sign and just can't believe I still have so far left to go. I imagine that trip seemed very long to him.
10 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2007 06:05 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Gorgeous. You create and sustain a level of tension that is just perfect.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much. I wasn't sure it would have that kind of impact.
Date: May 25, 2007 04:48 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
I loved it! What a great perspective to take. And I'm so glad you about what he was thinking since we know so little about his return trip...except we do know he didn't have his moonroof open and he wasn't wearing sunglasses...but that doesn't even begin to tell us the whole story. :)
Sorry...tangent. Anyway, it was really great and keep writing. It's pretty cool that guys are writing fanfic.
Author's Response: Glad you liked. It was fun to specualte about his thoughts; there is certainly a lot of material to work with. Quite a journey he's been on.
Date: May 25, 2007 04:08 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
I think the stream of consciousness format works very well - it creates an immediate, unfiltered sense of what's happening in Jim's head. I like the staccato rhythm too. It's as if his mind is scatting all over the place - and his fragmented thoughts and memories of what's gone down over the last couple of weeks (years, really) is, quite literally, the fuel that's finally speeding him home. And the last line: Here it goes... well, that's pretty much what I think we were left feeling at the end of that episode/season too. Really good stuff.
Author's Response: Thanks so much Colette. The format and rhythm felt right to me and it's nice to hear that they worked for others. "the fuel that's finally speeding him home"...even your reviews are exceptionally written.
Date: May 25, 2007 03:35 am Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
I don't know what more to say other than I really loved Jim's voice in this because it felt completely realistic and exactly what I hope was going through his mind on that long drive home.
So glad you tried a new format. I know that can be scary but in this instance it works perfectly. Lovely job.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, and thanks for your help. (Him deciding to get flowers was a nod to you, by the way). As for the format, it's going to be hard to go back. So easy to write not having to worry about connecting sentences.
Date: May 24, 2007 11:31 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Wow, this was great! It's really great to read a guy's version of Jim. A lot of girls (myself included) tend to romanticize him to the point of basically removing all testosterone. Yours was very realistic. Those last six or seven lines were so sweet and perfect! Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. There is a ton of great writing by women here but we do see a lot of a Jim who likes to cook, clean, and shop, and only lusts exactly at the appropriate time. Jim is a good guy who respects women, but I definitely think he would have some quite R rated thoughts during that drive.
Date: May 24, 2007 11:30 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Beautifully done.
Just... really, really great.
Author's Response: Thanks really really much, glad you liked.
Date: May 24, 2007 10:26 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
This is perfection:
This is our last minute apart. This is the last first date I’m ever going to ask for. I was really rooting for Jim to get back to Scranton as fast as possible in this story. I was thinking, "Plenty of people go 90, Jim. Ninety's not that fast..." That has to mean something. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I hope it was their last minute apart. In my head the only reason that he didn't want to get a ticket was the time it would have consumed; the money wouldn't have meant anything.
Date: May 24, 2007 10:03 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Oh Brokenloon I looooooooooooooove so much about what this story chose to be! OMG, seriously. This was so much more than I could have hoped for. Just REAL and touching and even very funny at times. There was a moment when I was reading so intensely and then just BROKE out in laughter...."That was really Pam? That was her? Of course it was dumbass" - quite literally nearly died laughing at that. Just the placement and timing of that thought was impeccable. GREAT WORK!
Author's Response: Wow, lovefool, thanks so much, always great to get the opposite-of-Toby praise. I had hoped it would have a little wit but didn't think it would really get laughs, so I'm glad that it did.
8 [Report This]Date: May 24, 2007 09:25 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
I love this. Love it. I love the tempo and the constant
Women are different
Also - I'm laughing at him going through the lights - because there is ALWAYS that light that you ALWAYS get stuck at.
I love nervous, panicky Jim. This was great.
Author's Response: Glad you loved it and espcially glad the tempo worked. And I know I have the Women are different thought occasionally myself.
Date: May 24, 2007 09:24 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
This was awesome, Loon. I loved how his mind kept going to the sex thing, but he kept pulling it back. And making all those lights...talk about a good sign! The rambly racing thoughts were just what I would imagine flying through his mind. And the continually racheting up speed made me giggle.
Excellent job!
Author's Response: Thanks lapdog. At first I had him getting frustrated at red lights but then decided that they should be green, the universe's way of blessing his mission.
Date: May 24, 2007 09:19 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
god i hope jim was really thinking this.
awesomeness!
Author's Response: Thanks. Me too.
Date: May 24, 2007 09:18 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Loved it, very astute and tuned in to poor Jim's plight. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks. And hopefully poor Jim's plight is about to sharply improve.
Date: May 24, 2007 09:10 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
This style is very unique. I really liked how Jim's thoughts were all over the place: flowers, breasts, green lights. You could really sense Jim's anxiety ratchet up the closer he got to Scranton. Well, done and nice to see dude fic writers represent. Keep 'em coming!
Author's Response: Thanks. Now that you mention it, "Flowers, Breasts, Green Lights" would have been a good title. Oh well.
9 [Report This]Date: May 24, 2007 09:04 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
This is really unique and I love it. You know his mind WAS going a mile a minute! Or maybe two miles a minute with the speeding and all...;)
Author's Response: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. For all we know, maybe he did get a ticket somewhere in New Jersey.
10 [Report This]Date: May 24, 2007 09:01 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes. Exactly. He's so excited! This is great. THanks1
Author's Response: You're welcome, and thank you. As low key as he tried to be asking for the date, I do believe Jim was probably one excited fellow.
Date: May 24, 2007 08:31 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Guh, that was great. I starting feeling really anxious at the end there wanting Jim to hurry up and get into the building and bust open that door! I am all about stream of consciousness fic, and this was a wonderful one :)
Author's Response: Thanks, so glad you liked. It was my first try at that kind of writing and I was pleased at how it came out. ALso nice not to have to worry about creating good paragraphs.
Date: May 24, 2007 08:31 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
This is just all kinds of wonderful. I loved these lines: She’s so different. The beach…When did that happen? When did she change? In front of everyone…then straight to my face. Still can’t wrap my mind around it. That was really her? That was Pam?
And I loved the increasing speed running through the story; that added such humor, and of course showed how much he wanted to reach Pam. The related "distance to Scranton" theme accentuated that beautifully.
I loved the theme of "women are different" and how he kept going through a cycle of what could be, then what he really wanted, then trying to rein himself in. That was so fantastic. (And frankly, probably similar to what Pam might be thinking, except somewhere in her thought process would be "He'll think I'm slutty if we do anything right away. Would he think I'm slutty?")
This section was so good: Only…God. Seeing me with Karen. Every day. And I barely talked to her. Barely noticed her. Tried never to notice her. That was the whole point.
I loved the bit about how Jim could definitely do better than Roy and Jim wondering what Pam likes.
I just think this entire story is fantastic. I'm favoriting it so I won't lose it.
Author's Response: Thanks so much TLK...it was fun to write. There was really a lot to work with in terms of what he could be thinking on that trip; our boy really had a lot going on. I'm glad you liked my take on it.
10 [Report This]Date: May 24, 2007 08:22 pm Title: Some Interstates are Best Traveled Westbound
Well done, brother. Nearly perfect anxious scatterbrain
Your speeding thing there is funny to me. I'm Canadian and thus subject to different traffic laws and different enforcement levels. I was in the States last weekend and was completely blown away by the number of traffic cops. We saw over half a dozen in a few hours of driving - in the same highway time in Ontario you'd be seeing one, maybe two. I'm sure there are violent crimes that they should probably be cracking down on instead. Also, worried about 80 mph? You do that in Canada and you're passing nobody (especially in Quebec).
What that has to do with anything, I don't know.
Author's Response: Thanks, bro. And don't even get me started on speeding enforcement.