Date: August 16, 2008 10:47 am Title: the rest is just a guess
See, lines like “It feels like electricity,” He murmurs, before realizing that he should be embarrassed. are wonderful... being able to say it despite the fact that maybe you 'should' feel differently. And Pam accepted it :)
These same words will ring false on another night, in another bed, but under all her halting, nervous twittering Jim knows she means it. Tonight, knowing and hoping will mean the same thing.
I was thinking, I could almost skim over the first sentence as not meaning much in context, but you put it in there for a reason... and it brings up an important point. Disturbing, but important. So glad you left it a little open... and after all, if they do stay together it will not be perfect.
So I have my own ideas, but "You taste different" vs She still tastes exactly the same.: what did you intend by that? Or is that purely up to the reader? ;)
Loved it and favorited.
Date: April 19, 2008 01:15 pm Title: the rest is just a guess
Beautiful metaphors, you should read "White Oleander" by Janet Fitch. :)
10 [Report This]Date: October 23, 2007 08:13 am Title: the rest is just a guess
I just had to revisit this story and read it in one sitting (unlike the first time). It's just so great. Truly one of my favorites.
10 [Report This]Date: September 30, 2007 08:29 pm Title: if i was lonely all this time, well i didn't know it
I've got to call my boyfriend and tell him it's over. I'm in love with this story and I'm going to marry it when I grow up.
10 [Report This]Date: September 06, 2007 11:59 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
Well...wow. Probably wasn't the best idea to read that at work as my face is now beet red and my heart is racing, but I could care less. That was amazing, hot, and very well done! Fantastic job!
Date: September 02, 2007 06:06 pm Title: the rest is just a guess
AHHHHH! This is so truthful and real and amazing and hkslghksldhgklh. I am obsessed! Thank you for a fabulous story.
Date: August 30, 2007 10:23 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
This is so, so great. "...he is forced to decipher the algebraic dilemma of her fucking pants." is sheer brilliance.
Date: August 30, 2007 08:38 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
Oh, I don't think it's cheesy at all. Since I'm a big nerd. But, I love how Jim says that he can't live in his head anymore. Your depiction of his inner monologue is so realistic and harried and frustrated and feckin' awesome :)
10 [Report This]Date: August 30, 2007 07:28 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
So well written. Loved it.
Date: August 30, 2007 05:44 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
I was already loving this story (so glad to see it updated) and then you had to bring Donne into it too? We die and rise the same, and prove/Mysterious by this love...my favorite, btw, and if that's cheesy, make me a grilled cheese sandwich pronto ;-) How perfect for the scene you've created. This blend of nervousness and intense desire and yet Jim still being a real life guy and still funny, just works so damn well. Sexiest line I've read in ages: 'So do it.' And hooray for Pam getting Jim out of his head (and his head out of his...well, you get the point.) More soon, I hope.
Date: August 30, 2007 03:45 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
This line got me:
He wouldn’t admit it for money, but he wants to hear his name.
How true. I can just feel the nervousness pouring off the two of them in this chapter. So much history, so much unsaid between them, and now being at the brink of intimacy, it's almost too much for them to handle.
Love everything about this story. The magic sweater, "climbing him"(ha), fumbling with the jeans. And Pam can wear whatever the hell color bra you want to put her in, I'm sure Jim doesn't care!
Date: August 30, 2007 02:10 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
Oh my God, this is so refreshing. I haven't read anything this good in so long. Your Jim characterization is just...lovely. Really. He doesn't seem like the eunuch that so many authors make him out to be. He seems real, like a grown man, and like I would imagine he is.
So good. It's 4 am and I can't some it up, but--Bravo.
10 [Report This]Date: August 30, 2007 01:30 am Title: if it was just luck, it was tough enough
uh...wow. Really? This is just...um...WOW. Brilliantly crafted.
10 [Report This]Date: August 28, 2007 11:05 pm Title: here's to you and your lover boy
The way this is put together is brilliant; you've slipped in these great character details that make the whole thing realistic and sort of off-balance, in the way that real thoughts always are (I hope that makes some kind of sense). Example: the idea that Jim's always pictured Pam in a certain setting ("above some non-descript store"), that he's been building a specific backdrop for her within a "blurry fantasy". I love the U-turn. To hell with food!
Date: August 15, 2007 04:29 pm Title: if i was lonely all this time, well i didn't know it
i really love the way you've written pam here. this is a really great story, but you knew that! ;)
Date: August 15, 2007 09:23 am Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
Oooo. A U-turn. That's an exciting development.
Date: August 14, 2007 07:53 pm Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
Love this piece and love this chapter (and I'm willing to give the smutty chapter some love too - when it gets here)! The description of Jim feeling clenched is perfect.
Date: August 14, 2007 05:50 pm Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
Oh. My. God. Can you update, like, now? This keeps getting better.
I was reading the earlier chapters and I really liked the theme of Jim feeling really eager and impatient and just NEEDING Pam, needing to have her right then... I think it would be cool to incorporate that, can't wait to see what you come up with.
Date: August 14, 2007 04:31 pm Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
I love the nervousness between them. This is unchartered territory for them and it feels very real. Wonderful work!! Looking forward to the result of that U-Turn.
10 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2007 02:07 pm Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
I'm loving this and I can't wait for more.
Also? It's interesting to me that Pam picked a green shirt and Jim picked a green sweater. Great minds, and all.
I cannot wait for more - you're such a tease!
8 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2007 01:40 pm Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
Oh, yeah, she's hungry. Just not hungry for food. Can't wait to see what the appetizer to this will be, let alone the entree...
Date: August 14, 2007 12:25 pm Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
I know this isn't exactly original, but I love hearing Jim's thoughts, especially when you characterize him like a 'guy-guy'. And I hope they're not headed back to Pam's for a cup of tea.
Date: August 14, 2007 11:15 am Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
Just caught up on this and I don't need Oliver Stone to figure out that you and Annabel have clearly formed a diabolical conspiracy to destroy me. So many great details here - Jim feeling like a little boy, his green sweater thing, the etiquette of that disaster that eludes him...makes him seem so present and perfectly nervous/giddy. And the awkwardness and unspoken tension between them - love how intensely it comes across with such clean, unlabored writing. Ready for that U-Turn now.
Date: August 14, 2007 10:56 am Title: here's to you and your lover boy
I'm on the edge of my seat! More!
9 [Report This]Date: August 14, 2007 10:47 am Title: i never said that it was time, i was just hoping it
I'm really enjoying this story. You're really capturing their quirks and creating something distinctly Jim and Pam. Makes me look forward to the smut all the more ;-)