10 [Report This]Date: December 03, 2007 01:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
She glides...she falls. Oh, Karen.
Your use of imagery and repetition is amazing here. I never really liked Karen, but I often pitied her (and I know how much she would hate that). You capture why here beautifully.
Author's Response: I felt similarly toward her; on the one hand she really had no idea what she was getting herself into so I felt bad for her, but there were moments when her actions kinda ventured outside of that. But I guess now that she's gone she doesn't seem so horrible, at least to me. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it means a lot!
10 [Report This]Date: December 03, 2007 04:09 am Title: Chapter 1
great allusion to falling falling falling. and you bring up a good point ("when it becomes clear that she’s far superior at the sport and she skates off independently from his sluggish feet and messy hair and careful smile, his eyes go dark") - it seems like jim is really happy when he's the one in control in the relationship - from pulling pranks on dwight to holding pam's hand as she wobbles on ice.
Author's Response: I think that there is that sort of protective quality to his persona, that he likes being able to help people, especially the people he's dating, so by her skating off without him it was only one example of the many ways in which Karen just wasn't Pam. Thanks for reading!
8 [Report This]Date: December 02, 2007 06:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
"Karen slides back with an apologetic smile and an open palm, but Jim still stares vacantly at the hockey score board too long for it to just be thinking and she can almost see the reflection of curls in his eyes."
What a beautiful line. This whole story was filled with such heartbreakingly sad moments for Karen.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much!
I know I kinda gave the girl a hard time with this, huh? But what doesn't kill her makes her stronger, right? I'll try my best to make my next piece with her a happy one :)
Date: December 01, 2007 04:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Nice story! I like the sequence of before, during, and after Jim. I really like this line "Suddenly she doesn’t feel so invincible because her mind can’t even convince her own heart that she’s fine."
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
10 [Report This]Date: December 01, 2007 01:14 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, so sad and beautiful. You really captured Karen's feelings nicely, and I loved how you wove in the falling and gliding.
Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I've got something I'm working on now where Karen gets some incidental revenge, so maybe that will make her story a little less sad :'(