1 [Report This]Date: September 20, 2018 04:27 am Title: Chapter 3: January-February
This is wonderful! I love the month-by-month slow journey that didn’t feel painfully slow to read (if that makes sense). One of the best versions of the necessary “get over the past” conversations between these two I’ve read.
6 [Report This]Date: March 01, 2016 09:27 am Title: May to October
It wasn't badly written, but this first chapter just didn't ring IC for me. Once he made that decision to leave Karen, and ask Pam out, and especially after buying the ring a week later, I just don't see it being hot and cold between them. I do see them putting off the hard talks, because communication was always their problem, but their hearts were in the same place at the same time, and it would have more likely been like falling into the familiar pattern of "them".
Date: January 28, 2010 10:00 pm Title: May to October
I think capturing their voices in the let's-talk-about-the-past scenes when they get together is one of the hardest things to do in fic. It almost always sounds either stilted and formal, or too much long explanation. You nailed their pauses and halting way of approaching touchy subjects perfectly.
10 [Report This]Date: January 25, 2010 08:59 pm Title: November and December
Okay, that was positively adorable (the second part, that is) and I really liked hearing about your take of Pam's father. You've really got a talent for capturing inner emotion, great job!
Also, as I am a girl, I'd love to see what kind of ring you'd pick out for Pam. I'm just curious as to what a guy would choose. I've seen many female-picked rings, but I'm curious about what a guy would choose. I just repeated myself, darn.
Oh well, on to the next chapter!
10 [Report This]Date: January 25, 2010 08:49 pm Title: May to October
Okay, how on earth could you be mixed about liking this chapter??!?!!!?????? (my exact emotions... ???!!?!?!??...lol) I really liked the part about Pam's bad day, calling her baby was so sweet, just on that occasion when they could get away with cheesy, and I really liked the canvas and paints stuff (since I love to paint, too). Great job, very well written. Why don't you post something new one of these days? (but please, NOT a baby fic or something like that. something original, like the rest of your work. that fresh, original stuff is great, especially because it shows creativity that they decided to come up with something totally new!). alright, sorry about my blabber, just great job with this chapter, i'm going to finish the story and i hope you come up with something new one of these days. I'm always open to beta'ing if you want it.
10 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2009 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
OMG please continue this =)
10 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2009 09:20 pm Title: November and December
two works: freaking cuteeeee
10 [Report This]Date: May 04, 2009 09:11 pm Title: May to October
I really enjoyed this =)
10 [Report This]Date: September 05, 2008 08:36 am Title: Chapter 3: January-February
Another great story. Is it done or might you continue it?
Date: May 27, 2008 06:09 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
WRITE TOMORROW!
Date: January 25, 2008 08:49 am Title: May to October
This was really a treat to read -- it felt like a very real glimpse into how their relationship would unfold in those early months. You really wrote Jim's confusion and almost unwitting reticence well; reading this sheds so much light on just why he strode back into the office and kissed her after his stairwell conversation with Dwight. It's easy to write them as all flushed with happiness early on, but I think your version here is really realistic -- how could he not have wounds that haven't yet healed?
Also loved the dialogue -- it was so believable and so them. As for the "baby" exchange -- six months after my husband and I started dating, he teasingly called me "boo" -- which got the same reaction as Jim's "baby." Suffice it to say that six years later, that is precisely how he refers to me -- always. Only sometimes he'll add a "Miss" to it. It's so ridiculous that it never fails to make me laugh. All this to say: I loved the "baby" exchange. :o)
Author's Response:
Thanks so much girl7. Have you considered changing your pen name to "Miss Boo?"
In my head, Jim's pain of the Stamford era is seared into him to a degree such that avoiding ever returning to that would motivate a lot of his actions, which isn't necessarily a great thing. Glad you found this believable and that you enjoyed the "baby" part.
Date: January 24, 2008 09:04 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
LOL Hurricane Beesly. That's cute. I really enjoyed this chapter -- I'm glad to see Jim taking steps toward doing something he really likes, and I love how supportive Pam is of that. =)
Date: January 24, 2008 08:57 pm Title: November and December
That proposal scene was just too cute for words!! I love how excited Pam was throughout the day, expecting this. lol
Date: January 24, 2008 08:47 pm Title: May to October
Awww, the "August" was sweet like candy. =)
Author's Response: Thanks, FT!
Date: January 24, 2008 01:06 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
“I mean it might be nice to have a boss other than Michael at some point, I guess.”
*sigh* Poor Jim. Doesn't he realize that once he's married to Pam, she will be his boss? :D
Hurricane Beesly,
Oh, now that's just precious. I love it!
Date: January 24, 2008 01:00 pm Title: November and December
What a cute proposal! So sweet. And so characteristic for Pam to have figured him out way ahead of time.
Date: January 24, 2008 12:54 pm Title: May to October
It became something of a tradition; when things got to her she would tell him she need to see a bad movie, and that became his cue to coddle her a bit, find a place where the two of them could be away from the rest of the world, preferably with something to mock. And on those nights, and those nights only, he called her, “baby.”
Oh, that is just so ADORABLE without being what the Brits call twee! I love it. Normally Jim/Pam cuddling doesn't work for me, but as therapy for a bad day, especially if it involves bad movies, it's perfect.
Since you ask for what worked and what didn't, I will say that I wasn't sure the September conversations worked as well for me. I am not sure Jim and Pam would be that articulate with one another involving such deep and painful emotions. But then you balance it perfectly with the humor (finger paint? Hahaha!) and
And so she painted, with the paints he had given her, on the canvas he had given her.
is just all kinds of awwwww. Very nice. Thanks for this, brokenloon.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, NEJ. I'm glad so many folks have enjoyed the "baby" bit. Interesting, overly articulate emotional dialogue is one of my pet peeves...I guess in my mind they were talking after they felt pretty safe with each other and had their thoughts pretty well formulated, but when i read it back there is a little something there that doesn't feel totally right, I have to admit.
10 [Report This]Date: January 24, 2008 07:45 am Title: Chapter 3: January-February
Love it. What a perfect option. I love how Pam knows how to handle Jim and his insecurities.
Author's Response: Thanks, NanReg! Glad you loved it.
Date: January 24, 2008 07:13 am Title: Chapter 3: January-February
I totally agree on your option for Jim. There are so many jobs that combine sports and sales! I really liked how you built the chapter, starting with Pam's efforts to talk to Jim about this stuff and ending with him finally feeling able to come to a decision. As always, reading this story is such a treat and I can't wait to see what else you have up your sleeve!
Author's Response: Why thank you, sudz. I think Jim's personality, as well as his sales experience, really make it logical for him to continue in sales rather than start a brand new career. But, there are more interesting things to sell than paper. Thanks for supporting this story, and there will be more to come.
Date: January 24, 2008 06:02 am Title: Chapter 3: January-February
Perfect job for Jim. I think he would be great at it.
Author's Response: I think so too. It would be easier for Jim to get fired up working for a sports radio than for Duner Mifflin, it's safe to say. Thanks for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: January 24, 2008 05:38 am Title: Chapter 3: January-February
brokenloon--You know how much I love this chapter by this point, and the steps you've taken to enrich Pam's character really stand out in these vignettes. I love your version of her, and her quiet vigilence in watching Jim's life and opportunities unfold around (and with) her is quite endearing. I'm anxious to see where you take this next, and I hope this story becomes "May and Everything After Until 2034." :-)
Bravo! --Best, CH
Author's Response: CH-Thanks so much and thanks for your help. I do love me some Pam, and it always is gratifying when others enjoy my version of her. 2034, huh? Maybe, but it might be 2028 in real life by the time I get there.
Date: January 23, 2008 10:41 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
This is awesome -- I seriously love stories where part of their happiness involves getting out of DM. It makes sense for the characters but it's something you'd never see on the show (for obvious reasons), so I'm always happy to see it integrated into a good story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. As much fun as DM is for us to watch, it really isn't a place where I would want to stay at for very long.
Date: January 23, 2008 10:35 pm Title: May to October
I really like this a lot -- I think my favorite thing (besides the "baby" conversation) is that it takes them so long to be intimate with each other, not just physically but emotionally. It's easy to write them falling into each other with the past wiped away (and, uh, I totally do it), but far more interesting for it to be a difficult road.
Author's Response: Thanks, sophia. While I do like stories where everything is pretty much great right away, and don't find it totally implausible, Jim has really been shut down for a while and they've inflicted some pain on each other. So, I think it might take some time for them to get past that.
10 [Report This]Date: January 23, 2008 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
You never fail to capture the characters and stay real. I love reading your stories. This is such a fresh take on things. I love the way Pam gently handled Jim's lack of ambition. Quite a stark contrast from Karen. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Annika, you're very kind. While I think Jim's lack of ambition might be genuinely frustrating for Pam, I think her basic kindness and compassion would color the way she dealt with it.
Date: January 23, 2008 08:57 pm Title: Chapter 3: January-February
Ok, this is officially the job Jim has. It is canon. lol. what a PERFECT job for Jim! I love it! and wow...does Pam know how to positively reinforce taking a chance, or WHAT! Way to go Hurricane Beesly!
Author's Response:
Okay then, I'm going to look into advertising on the Philly sports radio station and maybe I will get to deal with Mr. Halpert. I'll be auctioning off his phone number later. As for the positive reinforicement...I think the carrot approach is more effective than the stick approach for this sort of thing. Certainly more fun to write anyway. Thanks for the review!