10 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2012 07:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
Gosh this is devastating and heartwrentching, even moreso because of how realistic it is. This isn't something I ever wanted to contemplate happening but honestly, in season 4 especially, even though they were happy, I could see it. After that whole thing in Chair Model when he told her a proposal was coming, I watched the look on her face as he returned to his desk, quite a few times actually, and she didn't seem to be excited or giddy, she seemed conflicted or confused to me. I worried about that. Then when she was obviously into the 'fake proposals' and even moreso when she was giddy and then disappointed over first an expected proposal and then the lack of one, that;s when I finally started believing that if Jim would get it together and get the proposal out there, things were going to be okay. THis was so well written, and the note on the pillow was perfectly Jim. Off and running again. Unwilling to face it, to discuss, to work through it. Heart breaking! SO SO glad we never actually saw anything like this happen.
8 [Report This]Date: April 11, 2008 09:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
oh GOD, trying to cry silently into a pillow. that is such a statement of utter sadness...
why i love this: we all know that marriage bells are on the horizon. what you did was take a really unpopular (but probably true) stance and i love that. killer angst. but if we're honest, is pam really ready to be in line again on her way to being someone's wife? i don't know. it's like you say, she loves him and wants to marry him but not yet. i can see him not understanding that at all. he's been ready to be w/her for so long, he's tired of waiting. and yet. anyway, what a a great fic. love it.
Date: April 10, 2008 07:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
Gah....that was so beautiful and heartbreaking! I got tears in my eyes when she said no and then Jim wasn't there. =(
Date: April 10, 2008 06:14 pm Title: Chapter 1
What really got me in this most excellent piece was how well you captured Pam's passivity. She is astute enough to realize what's going on with Jim (that radar between them never fails), but she waits until he brings up the subject and then disappoints him. It never occurs to her to bring up the subject first, allowing him to retreat gracefully ; just like on Casino Night, she lets him put it all out there on the line before she lets him down. Classic, classic Pam. You caught her perfectly. And him, too. That last line is purest Jim Halpert--self-effacing, running away, yet not quite giving up hope. Well done, well done.
10 [Report This]Date: April 10, 2008 11:00 am Title: Chapter 1
oh my god you murder me over and over again. This was fantastic and real and I really enjoyed that you wrote something like this because alot of people won't on this site. Beautiful and wonderful as always!
9 [Report This]Date: April 10, 2008 08:34 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh, this was SO good. Beautiful and angsty...I could really picture something like this actually happening. I really wasn't expecting the ending; I guess I expected more resolution, but the way it panned out worked, too. Everything you write is so good and this is no exception...thanks for sharing :)
10 [Report This]Date: April 10, 2008 06:39 am Title: Chapter 1
And this is why if this unfolds like this, my heart will shatter in a million pieces with Jim. =-(
This was beautiful written like everything you do.
She looks back at him and sees the recognition in his face, his mouth falling slack and his jaw clenching. It’s the second time she’s done this to him and it hurts.
And that's exactly what I am afraid of for him. How many times can a man face that sort of rejection from someone he knows loves him even if she is afraid? **Sigh** Please continue. I love all your work.
10 [Report This]Date: April 10, 2008 05:53 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh, man. Wow. Not expecting that ending, unfold. I have to say that whether or not the conclusion makes me happy, I know that when I see you as the author, the story is going to be fantastic. Well done.
10 [Report This]Date: April 10, 2008 05:30 am Title: Chapter 1
So sad. I'm all teary right now, and if I wasn;t at work, I'd probably be sobbing. This was so beautiful. I loved the proposal, with both of them just sitting in her bedroom in their underwear. The way he asks her, his words almost desperate because he knows she's scared, and the way she just sobs.
His note at the end kills me.
I have a feeling this kind of thing is almost a possibility on the show. I think Pam might be reluctant to want to be engaged again, and that would cause some tension.
Anyway, bravo!
Date: April 10, 2008 01:53 am Title: Chapter 1
don't do this! I can't take it! I can't take tallyheads telling me every day that an engagement won't work, it will! I promise!!
I'm so so sad now.
...but your writing is beautiful :o)
Date: April 10, 2008 12:11 am Title: Chapter 1
Crying now (almost). This was breathtaking, every word just melted together into one fine crafted story.
Thank you.
Date: April 09, 2008 10:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
Thank god, someone found some FUTURE ANGST!
I love it. Please continue!
Date: April 09, 2008 09:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
jesus....
i'm dead.
heartbreaking and sad and angsty and so so good!
10 [Report This]Date: April 09, 2008 09:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
....
....
If it goes down like this on the show, I'll love it. Angst and possible breakup drama and all. I just love the way you write, lady. SO good. This part especially got me...
And they’re in her bedroom, quietly undressing on opposite sides of the room. Some nights they undress each other. Some nights they can’t even remember how they got undressed. And some nights they just undress themselves and it’s those nights that really thrill her. Because it’s habit, it’s comfort. She can stand in her bra and underwear and talk to him about plans for the weekend without her skin flushing and without her hands shaking. He can stand there in his boxers and she might not even think about his skin. But she does and she knows he’s thinking about hers.
Brilliant work, as always! -CH
10 [Report This]Date: April 09, 2008 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
Beautiful, realistic, and totally heartbreaking. My only criticism is that the ending--the tragic note on the pillow--seems kind of cliche or like a cop-out. I would've maybe liked to see it end somewhat differently, with some kind of resolution, even if it was still a sad ending. That being said, I absolutely loved how this was written! If you decided to make it a multi-chapter after all, I definitely wouldn't complain ;)
Date: April 09, 2008 09:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
How sad the end is, unfold! I know you've marked this complete. I have to assume that this isn't the end for Jim and Pam, though, and they would ultimately be back together. This had better not happen on the real show, or I will burn Utica to the ground. You did a nice job making me all sad, though. ;)
10 [Report This]Date: April 09, 2008 08:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
A splendid piece of writing, and very easy to imagine something along these lines. I'm gonna offer a bit of criticism though..I think it would have been more effective with a muddled, uncertain ending, which it seems to me how things would have gone...Jim continuing to pretend things were okay even though they weren't, or something like that. You went for the full bore angst, in my opinion chosing maximum emotional impact over realism. That said, this is a tremendous story, and I'm sure others might disagree with me on the ending.
Date: April 09, 2008 08:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, this is so heartbreaking and so real. Excellent work!