10 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 07:41 pm Title: Chapter 15
I love this story. As much as I like the idea of Jim and Pam actually being in the same city, let alone the same room, I really enjoy the intimacy and fun of their phone conversations.
The thoughts and reactions of Pam reading the magazine were funny and insightful. I liked that you used the articles as a source of reflection over their beginning relationship.
I sense some emotional obstacles for the two to navigate soon.
Date: October 16, 2006 05:37 pm Title: Chapter 15
LOVE how you are reconciling what happens in "The Convention" with your storyline --- it gives me hope that we will see some JAM on TV soon!
Date: October 16, 2006 05:36 pm Title: Chapter 15
Loved Pam taking the quizzes! Can't wait for the predicted steaminess in the next chapter!
8 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 01:15 pm Title: Chapter 15
Good nightmare! And I like the phone conversation. Jim's "Oh, Pam" made me swoon a wee bit. Looking forward to the resolution of some Issues ;)
10 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 12:54 pm Title: Chapter 15
This story is so good. I like the idea that Pam might have some unspoke, unacknowledged (because she does have a deniel problem, even if she's working past it) anger at Jim for kind of abandoning her.
Jim doesn't have to stay at Wendy's, does he?
Date: October 16, 2006 12:44 pm Title: Chapter 15
Great chapter and got to love Kelly's enthusiasm about things.
Date: October 16, 2006 12:18 pm Title: Chapter 15
Things will definitely not be smooth sailing even once they finally get together, and I'm glad you touched on that. I also love that this is actually a plausible scenario in our "real" timeline!
8 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 12:05 pm Title: Chapter 15
I love this line:
For so long in their relationship, teasing was their secret language of love.
I think I'm gonna use that to describe JAM now. :-)
Loved it!!! Not much happened, but it was still adorably fluffy. Those sound like actual magazine articles. Were they?
Author's Response: Thanks. No they weren't real, I was trying to make them as silly as possible. Good to know it worked! :-)
6 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 11:54 am Title: Chapter 14
I guess it was an overall average chapter. There was some pretty good character development with Jonathan. I was a little worried that this would become ridiculous and unrealistic with his appearance, and I felt my fears were confirmed when Jim suddenly became FraternalAffection!Jim and noticed, "Oh, YEAH, I have a brother!", but Jonathan's character, as a whole, was well-executed. I realize that his intrustion was spur-of-the-moment (Scott Foley has a tendency to do that ;-) but I still feel that if Jonathan had been mentioned in earlier chapters, the transition wouldn't have come across quite as rockily as it did.
Another administrative thing- when you list a number, like in the sentence, "There were five people.", you don't make it the actual NUMBER 5. It's a rule of thumb that you spell ever number short of 10, and only begin to use the digits when you hit 10. Sorry if your beta missed that..no offense, it's just pretty distracting, because my mind automatically thinks you're talking about a time. It's okay to say 2 AM, for example, just not "2 people". It also reminds me of AIM conversations. Ecchh.
Anyway, good story, strong plot, nice fluff. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks for the comments. I really do appreciate it. I may go back and add a reference to Jim's conversation with his brother in Chapter 2. And thanks for the number reminder; my biggest downfall is missing errors like that when I'm trying to fix it up.
10 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 11:53 am Title: Chapter 15
Love love LOVE your explanation for her behavior the morning of the convention!! God, I wish that was true. I'm going to tell myself it is. Yep, it's true. Wonderful, as usual! =)
Date: October 16, 2006 09:13 am Title: Chapter 14
Good boy Jim. I'm glad he didn't fall for her seduction.
10 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2006 12:55 am Title: Chapter 14
I so thought we were going to get phone sex in this ep. Yay for Jonathan and Jim's scene in the car! And who could blame Wendy, really? Looking forward to the next chapter...
Author's Response:
Let's see.....phone sex sometime in this story? Check. ;-)
Keep reading - I can't put smut in every chapter!
10 [Report This]Date: October 15, 2006 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 14
I'm thinking Pam won't find this very amusing at all.
This continues to be awesome. Keep it up!
Date: October 15, 2006 07:25 pm Title: Chapter 14
Well, now that was awkward! Not a fan of Wendy. (Though who can blame her for trying, really? He's a catch.)
I love Jim's fantasy of the first time Pam would say "I love you," though I'm just happy to see them saying it over the phone at all - it's sweet, without needing to be a grandiose gesture.
Date: October 15, 2006 07:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hey Wendy? B'bye! See you later sweetheart! Hee! Another great chapter, my dear.
Date: October 15, 2006 07:01 pm Title: Chapter 14
Nice - very awkward sitch for Jim - good dialogue w/ Jon; I love "Hey, hot stuff" from Jon. Um, thoroughly enjoyed the shower scene and rejection of Wendy ;)
Date: October 15, 2006 06:57 pm Title: Chapter 14
Aww, Jim's too sweet.
10 [Report This]Date: October 15, 2006 06:55 pm Title: Chapter 14
He wondered if Pam would, too.
I'll tell you what Pam would like: she'd like you to call up Jon and leave that house, NOW. Then call her and tell her everything, and that your virtue is now safe.
Otherwise: love the Jon/Jim interaction. The phone call was really cute, especially with Jon's additions.
Author's Response: LOL - yeah, that's what he probably should do. But he's tired. There might be some ramifications, but they'll survive in the long term. Thanks for the comments!
10 [Report This]Date: October 15, 2006 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 13
Jim's postcards were so sad, especially, "Dammit, Pam – where are you?" I love the effortless switch between the sad and then the fun parts. Perfect, silly song for the two of them.
Date: October 15, 2006 06:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
Okay. Done reading the chapter now and I really liked it. Glad you made it clear that Jim wasn't tempted at all(!) especially because I got a little nervous with his train of thought at first ("He wondered how he would get through the whole week without something bad happening"). Jim is very loyal so anything less would simply be out of character. I always look forward to reading updates from you. Your story really helps balance out the angst I feel after watching the show each week. Thank you for the escape! :)
And no problem about the catch! I thought it was so cute. LOL.
Author's Response: Thanks, Meghan! I'm glad to help fellow Jamster get through the angst. I've been waiting for Greg Daniels to call and let me start writing for the show. ;-)
Date: October 15, 2006 06:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hee. I haven't finished the chapter yet but I giggled a bit at this:
John looked out the window and couldn't help blushing a little. "What is with you tonight? How is any of that your concern?"
Someone's got Krasinski on the brain! ;)
Author's Response: excellent catch! Oops! (Thanks!)
8 [Report This]Date: October 15, 2006 06:23 pm Title: Chapter 14
Was that Becky? Or Miranda? Were any of them even named Miranda?
This is a great line - it really shows both how he normally is (great salesman, good with names) and how discombobulated he is at the moment.
There's just a minor point I wanted to make - there are points at which your phrasing is definitely non-American. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that! But you get into Jim's head so well that it's a tiny bit jarring to come across these bits that really don't sound like him.
Author's Response: Please feel free to let me know which parts don't sound American - I would really appreciate it. :-)
10 [Report This]Date: October 15, 2006 05:47 pm Title: Chapter 14
Wow, Wendy is quite the hussy! Yea for Jim staying strong and not giving in to her wanton ways! And note to Jim - I doubt Pam will ever find this amusing.
Author's Response: Unfortunately, I think he's going to have to find that out the hard way.... ;-)
Date: October 15, 2006 12:31 am Title: Chapter 1
I really like this fic - when are you gonna finish it?!!!
Author's Response: How far have you read? I've just posted Chapter 14....
Date: October 14, 2006 01:32 pm Title: Chapter 13
The postcards were so touching, and so very sad. I'm glad Jim shared them with Pam...she really gets it now.