10 [Report This]Date: February 11, 2010 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
WHY do I cry over everything?? I... yay!! I loved this! I was all "YAY! clap,clap,clap YAY!"
"...and I’m thinking maybe Daniel needs a sibling right damn now." Yup.
I hope I find more first-person on my quest to finish all of your stuff today! If not, get on it!
Author's Response: Yikes, sorry, no more first person stuff that I've written (but there are some good ones in these archives by other folks). I really appreciate your reviews so big thanks to you for taking the time to leave them. It makes it much more fun to write when people respond. Thanks!!!
Date: February 11, 2010 11:57 am Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
I'm glad you put the bit of argument in the beginning, because it was so believable. People lose their temper and yell, even when they don't want to, before they try to reel everything back in. Them not having sex because they are afraid of making baby number 2 is another thing that happens to even the happiest of couples who are struggling, but sadly, it doesn't help the stress levels.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad this all rang true to life for you. Yup, that stress is a killer.
Date: February 11, 2010 11:38 am Title: Chapter 1 Here's That Rainy Day
I get so overly excited when I read first-person Jim (or Pam) and this sounds great. I'm glad you took a chance and tried it. The job hunt is scary and this makes you worry right along with him.
Author's Response: This was my first and so far, only try at 1st person so I'm tickled you liked it.
Date: November 10, 2009 10:40 am Title: Chapter 1 Here's That Rainy Day
Beautifully, beautifully done! You had me scared there for awhile...but it all fell together, perfectly. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks, Mr. Bill. Is it wrong I'm glad you were scared for a little while? Never fear, Jim and Pam will always fall together in the end. Your comments are very much appreciated, thanks for reading.
10 [Report This]Date: November 08, 2009 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
I thought this was one of those, serious-life-isn't-the-way-it-should-be stories, and I've never been so happy to be wrong! The shopping cart conversation was priceless, and just another reason why JAM will always make it. Such a good story, I'm sorry to see it end.
P.S.Maybe I'm just mean, but I loved the mental image of Jim making a mess with the syrup and then trying to act business-like in the middle of it :)
Author's Response: I'm glad to hear you say that you liked the shopping cart conversations - I hemmed and hawed on that but finally decided it was something they might do. And yeah, I admit it, I enjoyed writing Jim standing there holding his sticky hands over the sink getting the bad/good news. (I wrote a peanut butter covered Jim in a previous story, so go figure.) Thanks so much for your comments, and for taking a chance on my little story.
10 [Report This]Date: November 08, 2009 02:17 pm Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
You've captured the reason that so many of us have fallen for Jim and Pam. No matter what happened, they were always and will always be friends. Can't wait to see how this ends.
Author's Response: Thanks Casinos and Coal Walks, for reading and reviewing.
Date: November 08, 2009 07:14 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
You know, I was just thinking about this chapter some more and I realized more fully what a cool thing you did with Mr. Harris' daughter. In the first chapter, he was pretty offended when Jim suggested obliquely that he could fill the pranking shoes of Harris' employee who'd passed away. At face value, that was a pretty thoughtless thing of Jim to say.
But Laura clearly told her father about her interaction with Jim and the "open fly" story in a way that showed Jim really WOULD fit in with the work family that Harris created. That Jim wasn't some poser but had a good heart and was funny. Laura must've really talked him up to get her father to see past the affront he felt Jim had committed.
I was so hung up on all the grammar and flow stuff when I did the beta read that I somehow missed this. Now I like the chapter even more!
Author's Response: Oh thanks VB, I'm glad you liked that twist. I'll be honest, the real fun of writing this stuff for ole nonverbal right brained me is the plot, and when somebody "gets" it, it makes my little heart glow.
10 [Report This]Date: November 07, 2009 10:13 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
Phew...so glad Jim got the job. And how cool is it that his new boss is also named Michael? Is cool the right word? I loved the fact that you managed to put something in this about Pam drawing again. One question though: Are you going to write an epilogue of Jim and Pam later that night? Just curious. ::whistles innocently::
Overall, I enjoyed this story a lot. Great job!
Author's Response: I really don't have plans to write an epilogue - smut is not my strong suit and your imagination is probably a lot better than what I would write. But yeah, I betcha things got amorous between our kids that night. I think having another boss named Michael may be a nightmare for Jim, but he just doesn't know it yet. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing - and sticking with it despite the depressing early premise, bkwrm.
Date: November 07, 2009 04:47 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
Jazz, this came out GREAT! Soooo much more fluid than v1!! Just beautiful!
And the winner for most improved turn of phrase?
The light changes rapidly from a rosy glow to fiery orange and soon we’re engulfed in a raging frozen fire.
Just love that!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the frozen fire. *grin* I seriously love it when you get out your red pen - it makes me realize how lazy I am and that I need to really, really work at this. Thank you so much for your help.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 05:19 pm Title: Chapter 1 Here's That Rainy Day
wow, this was an amazing final chapter! from the description of the glowing light that morning to almost being denied the job, i was so sad. but then... you have mr. harris pull jim's leg-that was perfect, i was laughing louder than i have in a long time at so many parts in this chapter! i love how the boss's name is michael, great touch!
i think you should continue this story, maybe what happens later, because daniel seems like such a cute baby name and it could be really interesting to read about jim and pam later on. just a thought...
great job, amazing work on this story!
Author's Response: Thanks very much pamelamorganhalpert, for your detailed comments. I don't have any plans to continue at the moment, unless some idea comes to me on where it could go, but I'm chuffed you'd like to hear more. I'm really gald I made you laugh. /a good day.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 05:15 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
Dudette, that was freaking awesome, so lovely. The phone call with Mr.Harris was brilliant. I love that someone "got Jim," if you know what I mean :) Really enjoyed it :)
Author's Response: Hannah_Halpert, I'm glad you liked the prank - what goes around comes around, you know? (I certainly had fun with it) Thanks for taking the time to comment, much appreciated.
Date: November 05, 2009 04:34 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
When that man gave Jim the job (when MICHAEL gave Jim the job) I almost couldn't get to the end of this fast enough because I needed to congratulate you on a job freakin' well done! Wow...has anyone ever gotten Jim like that? I don't think so! BEST PRANK EVER.
And if all that wasn't enough...Nature Boy - in my top 5 favorite songs EVER.
This was very well crafted my friend. Go you!
Author's Response: So, couldn't wait for the story to end, eh? *gets a melodramatic wounded look* I'm really tickled you liked the prank. Somebody (ahem nan) thought it was too mean, but after all the crap he's pulled it seemed like poetic justice, and it all turned out okay for old Jimpert in the end, afterall. If you dish it out... Oh yeah! Nature Boy is a phenomenal song. If you get a chance to watch that Elling version on youtube, he will blow your socks off. Thanks for your comments!
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 01:16 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
I know I commented before, but I have to tell you again how GREAT this story is! This is probably one of my favorite stories. You're a fantastic writer, just the way you showed how strong their bond is that no matter what they go through, they'll get through it together. I absolutely love what Pam drew in her sketch book. I thought it was so powerful without being overstated. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks Deedldee. I went back and forth on the whole sketchbook idea, so I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate the feedback tremendously.
Date: November 05, 2009 10:29 am Title: Chapter 1 Here's That Rainy Day
jazzfan!! this was great! i'm adding this to my favorites, and will, without a doubt, spend so much time rereading it. this was great. you set up a scene so well -- picturing jim with his hands full of chocolate syrup as his wife holds onto him, tensing up over the speakerphone? and then the fact that he wants to give his son a sibling "right damn now" as he rides the high from getting the job? and pam's so happy and proud of him? oh my god, i loved this story! awesome job.
Author's Response: Hey, that "messy" scene came about because I wanted Jim and Pam to hear the job news together, and this is how I solved the problem. And sticky Jim is never a bad thing. I think he's got his mojo back, too. *wink* Thanks so much for your kind comments, I'm glad you enjoyed OutofWork!Jim.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 07:37 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
You, lady, are quite a wonderful writer. Even though I've read this before, I didn't enjoy it any less this time--more, in fact. You're great at nailing little details of domestic life. Your Jim and Pam have such a strong bond, despite adversity. Even though their situation was heartbreaking, I never doubted that they would be fine as a family.
I love this most of all: The light changes rapidly from a rosy glow to fiery orange and soon we’re engulfed in a raging frozen fire. Then the sun moves a little higher and everything in sight begins to sparkle white. Even the trashcans on the curbs of the street glitter and glint like diamonds. Makes me wish that I was there to see that sunrise. Awesome, my dear.
Author's Response: Not wonderful by any stretch, but I'm trying. We get a lot of ice storms where I live, and although they are a pain to deal with on a practical level, they are so very, very magical to see - glorious really. I hope you get an icestorm this winter - gotta get up early to see the show though. *grin* Thanks for your help on this one and all the others.
Date: November 05, 2009 07:07 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
*Dedeen stands up and gives jazzfan a standing ovation* This was awesome, you tied up the knots pretty well here. I just hope (I know I'm being needy here) that you would continue with another chapter. I wanted to see them with Daniel. But it's all good! This was amazingly written and its one of my favorites!
Author's Response: Thank you, thankyouverahmuch. /Elvis impression I don't have plans for any more at this point, but I'm flattered you'd like more. Thanks for the review, Dedeen.
Date: November 05, 2009 06:31 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
SO good!! Keep going with this, this was such a relief, and I just loved the opening with the ice. Mornings like that are so incredible, words can't even describe it. Such a good job!
Author's Response: Thanks very much JHalpert. I actually plan to end it here, unless something I'm not able to think right now of hits me. (I don't want to wander into fictionland without a direction) I'm glad you liked it.
10 [Report This]Date: November 03, 2009 06:53 pm Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
Oh, my God, jazzfan! This story is so good, it's killing me! So realistic, especially in these times, and really a subject that's not been written about a whole lot (and I read a lot of TO fic!) I've always pictured Jim as the guy who didn't have to try, but success sort of always landed in his lap. Very realistic and possible scenario that you've created. Please post the next chapter soon. It is so easy to feel for Jim as the guy who doesn't want to fail his family, yet is struggling with such a personal issue. I would love to know a little more about what the Evil!Pete said to him. Flashback, perhaps?
Author's Response: Mountaineers02, I would tell you what Evil!Pete actually said, but I'm pretty sure Jim would prefer that I kept it quiet, don't you think? *grin* It's gratifying to hear that this scenario is believeable, and yeah, Jim is an easy guy to cheer for. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. The last chapter needs a little more work (my betas set me straight), but I should have it up by the weekend for sure.
Date: November 03, 2009 03:03 pm Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
cute, even through the tough times =]
Author's Response: Thanks ilovetoJAM.
10 [Report This]Date: November 03, 2009 09:14 am Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
jazzfan, remember the scene in "Frame Toby", where Pam said, "You bought me a house" and they hugged, seemingly at the top of the world? This chapter was the complete opposite of what Jim must have felt in that episode.
The tone you've set, the feelings and atmosphere you've created for Jim and Pam during this difficult period of their lives were just so well-written, so honest, that I hurt for them. But I loved the way you ended this chapter, full of hope and the fact that they're in sync once again.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Wow, I hadn't thought of the "you bought me ahouse" as being the opposite, but it is. Exactly. Thanks for that, and I hope you like the resolution.
10 [Report This]Date: November 03, 2009 08:54 am Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
I was so excited to see a new chapter. And this was another beautiful one. I really like how you show their struggle, how small things are used for celebration. Plus, I completely felt the desolation in this setting, dark, quiet, too empty house, icy rain falling outside. Really well done. And that final scene between Pam and Jim was so true to life and I'm glad that Pam pulled Jim back to her. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. You've done a great job with a difficult subject and have made it so sadly realistic.
Author's Response: Thanks albie, for your comments. I tend to use the weather as a parallel so I'm glad it came off. I hope you think the last chapter works, I've tried something a little different with the weather.
Date: November 03, 2009 07:43 am Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
Another strong chapter. I have to echo others and say that this whole thing is just so achingly real. The situation and their reactions to it.
You've put a lot of attention to getting the details right, and I just love reading a fic where I can tell that the writer has really thought about everything... Does that make sense? Well, in any case, this shows that you want to develop and improve as a writer and that's just all kinds of awesome.
So many things ring so true in this chapter. The fight about the door and the wet clothes that's really about something else. After that in the kitchen: "We both know we’re frustrated, but everything still feels stiff and scripted." Scripted is such a good word to use there, because it immediately conveys what's going on and what they're trying to do.
It makes sense that during a time like this their old communication issues would re-surface. Things like that can make or break a marriage, and it's nice that you've managed to write this in a way that makes it clear that they still love each-other deeply, even though they have real problems in their relationship as well. I'm not sure I express myself right here... What I mean is you've found a balance between saccharine "as long as I have you my love" sentiment and ugly, over the top and OOC fighting.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was your friend before I was your wife." Yes! That's what I'm talking about. I believe in their marriage because they not only love but also like each-other, and that little speech of Pam's sums it up so well, in my opinion.
I have to respectfully disagree with an earlier reviewer and say that selling playground equipment would be a perfect job for Jim, which is probably part of the reason why he wanted it badly enough to get desperate and also really depressed when he "blew" it.
Lastly: Team Boy! Maybe we should get t-shirts?
Author's Response: I've got the t-shirts ordered! Team Boy. (they're blue, of course) *grin*
Thank you very much for all your comments, SyK, this is the kind of review that makes a writer's day. I admit I'm kind of obsessive about details, so thanks for noticing - I'm really trying. As a science major, I know I have a lot to learn about this world of words.
Regarding the fight- if there's one thing I've learned by being married so long is that fights are never about what they seem to be about on the surface, so I tried to use that here. Friendship and humor are ultimately the glue that keep things working.
I thought Jim would like the playground sales, so glad you agree.
Again, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your detailed review. Thanks so much. Hope the last chapter doesn't disappoint.
10 [Report This]Date: November 03, 2009 07:04 am Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
Dude, this is SO good. I love me some Jim angst. I love how Pam is being all strong and "talk to me damnit," < and Pete, what a jerkcake :(
UPDATE NOOOOOOOOW!
Author's Response: It seems I like torturing poor Jimpert, I tend to pick on him a lot in my fics. Not sure what that says about me. And yeah, Pete is kind of a bitch and Pam's a good kid. The last chapter is written and as soon as it's beta'd and I can tidy it up a bit, I'll get sent in. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
10 [Report This]Date: November 03, 2009 06:51 am Title: Chapter 1 Here's That Rainy Day
Really enjoying this, poor Jimmycakes :(
Author's Response: Jimmycakes? Bwahahaha. Love it. Thanks, Hannah_Halpert.
Date: November 03, 2009 06:31 am Title: Chapter 2 Ain't It Good to Know (You've Got a Friend)
Very nice. I am glad Jim and Pam talked.
Author's Response: Thanks MyriadProBold. Hope you like the last chapter as well.