1 [Report This]Date: April 30, 2024 11:06 am Title: Lunch
This is great. You pulled off the second person. Only issue is the dialogue punctuation errors. Loved Jim's internal dismay and devastation at the end!
10 [Report This]Date: April 19, 2010 07:37 pm Title: Lunch
I love so many lines in this story but my favorite is "You already know you want to see that smile everyday for the rest of your life." The banter at the beginning is great. Bonus points for including Jellybeans, Sudoku and a Dwight refrence! It's nice to think that a lot of the little things we love about Jam were there from the beginning.
Author's Response: Thank you for the read and review :) I also like to think certain things were there from the start because it's so much of what makes them 'them'. :)
Date: October 28, 2009 10:06 pm Title: Lunch
I'm at a point where I'm eating up angst and reliving season 1-3, so this really hit the spot!
Author's Response: So glad you enjoyed! I love reliving S1-3! Thank you for your review. :)
Date: October 28, 2009 03:08 pm Title: Lunch
Well done, Katie J. I found this very believeable - the dialogue was good and the sadness was real. Looking forward to more from you.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm pleased to hear the dialogue came across well, because I think that's probably the easiest place to go out of character. I'm hoping inspiration may take over again soon, although I offer no guarantees.. ;)
Date: October 28, 2009 02:34 pm Title: Lunch
I like this. There are a couple of details that are really perfect for the way the series went and I wonder if they were on purpose or if it was serendipity.
- Pam's first mention of Roy to Jim shows that he's holding her back from her dreams.
- When Jim's left speechless at the mention of Roy, our self-confidenceless Pam takes it as a sign that she's gone on too long.
I like your dialogue, too. Spot on.
In short, great first job! Looking forward to more...
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad you liked it :) I certainly put some thought into point 1 - I wanted Pam to just simply mention Roy in conversation - I didn't want her to be gushing over him, and I wanted Roy to come across in a not too favourable light whilst staying true to character,(which of course Jim doesn't really notice because he's too caught up in the fact that the guy even exists) - This seemed to fit the bill. I'd love to say point 2 was equally intentional, but, it just happened to write itself accurately ;) (Shhhh!)
9 [Report This]Date: October 28, 2009 05:53 am Title: Lunch
Big congrats on posting your first fic on MTT, Katie. It was my honor to lend you a hand. It's such a good story and, I hope, the first of many. I love Jim's hopefulness, the fact that's he's so smitten. To then have his hopes seemingly dashed is simply heartbreaking. Thank goodness he didn't give up! I think you were particularly good at conveying that he and Pam had an instant rapport. Kudos to you, my friend.
Author's Response: Thanks so much :) Very glad that you liked the finished product! I think that rapport they have is one of the hardest things to convey, so I'm glad that came across for you. Here's hoping I'm struck with inspiration again! :)
Date: October 27, 2009 11:00 pm Title: Lunch
So much nicer to read these things knowing how Jim and Pam are now. Great first fic! =)
Author's Response: Thank you! Very pleased you liked it, means a lot when I know you write such good stuff yourself. For some inexplicable reason, the S2/3 angst seems to have become more intense for me since 'Niagara', but in such a good way, I think because it *is* so good to think of them happy now :)
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2009 09:34 pm Title: Lunch
Oh my God that was so sad and so well written! You conveyed so much emotion. The last line was especially heartbreaking. Wonderfully written.
Author's Response: Thank you! :) Very pleased you liked the last line - to think, it was almost cut! :O
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2009 09:17 pm Title: Lunch
I really like it!
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Date: October 27, 2009 09:08 pm Title: Lunch
That was really good, the last line did me in, the whole best and worst date... aw :(
Author's Response: Thanks! :) I'm so glad that the last line worked for you. It was originally a little different and Nan was a little unsure about it at the time, so I was nervous about leaving it in!