Date: June 14, 2007 06:52 pm Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
I'm riveted! Keep going!!!!!!!
Author's Response: I totally intend to keep going -- hopefully I can manage to do every episode (we'll see....). Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: June 14, 2007 02:37 pm Title: Chapter 1: Gay Witch Hunt - part I
A brilliant chapter. You captured the turmoil of Casino Night/GWH so perfectly. Both Jim and Pam's confusion and poor Jim's desperation to make her see, make her understand. Amazing.
Author's Response: Ah, thanks so much - it wouldn't be what it is without your input and suggestions, trust me. Thanks for everything!
Date: June 14, 2007 02:06 pm Title: Chapter 1: Gay Witch Hunt - part I
That, oh my God, was wonderful! I could picture eveything as I read it. You have quite a gift, my friend! I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad to hear you say you could picture everything, because ultimately, that's exactly what I'm going for. Thanks again for reviewing!
Date: June 14, 2007 12:30 pm Title: Chapter 1: Gay Witch Hunt - part I
Wow, your writing is brilliant and so painful and dizzyingly romantic! Your portryal of Jim's perspective was so touching and I love the imagined (away from the camera) scenes, none of them seemed forced or untrue. Great work!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad it rang true for you - I've written Casino Night/GWH so, so many times, and I wanted to come up with something a little different here. Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: June 14, 2007 12:13 pm Title: Chapter 1: Gay Witch Hunt - part I
Wow. Just...as usual, you use simple, silly things like words and sentences and punctuations marks and you build spaces and atmospheres and emotions. You conjure these people and I know not only what they do and say (and it looks and sounds exactly right), but how they feel and what they mean. Jim stumbling down the stairs while Pam heaves with sobs...it's devastatingly right. As usual.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked this -- was worried that it's a bit too melodramatic (which it probably is, but damn it, I'm a sucker for writing it). I'm really excited about doing this series again, and it's so great to get such a thoughtful review from you right off the bat!
9 [Report This]Date: June 14, 2007 11:50 am Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
The emotions are so present in your writing, breathing was difficult at times. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Wow - thank you so much! Well, I'm fully sucked into writing this thing now, so there should be an update fairly soon.
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: February 12, 2007 01:30 pm Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
oh you are so cruel to our little pam. more more more!
Date: February 11, 2007 10:11 pm Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
UGH....these two make me want to jump off a bridge. lol. This was heartbreaking and totally realistic.
10 [Report This]Date: February 10, 2007 06:26 am Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
the fact that Karen knew, but Roy didn’t, seemed to be eating her alive these days.
Oh, good point. I hadn't thought about that. This is, of course, beautiful. Pam and Jim must have a million little moments and in-jokes and shared secrets that Karen couldn't help but blunder into.
You really evoke what being at that wedding must have felt like for these people. As you do. Brilliant.
Date: February 10, 2007 06:18 am Title: The Return
You succeed, as usual, in making their mutual suffering palpable. They just fit- in pain and in pranking, they just have a connection that doesn't abate. Gorgeous and sad as usual.
Date: February 09, 2007 07:46 pm Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
Damn. So good. Can not wait until the second part. I loved the way you wrote in the confusion experienced by Pam and Jim and how they just don't know how to read the other. Great chapter- always a fan of your behind the scenes stories.
10 [Report This]Date: February 09, 2007 07:41 pm Title: Phyllis's Wedding - part I
You: she'd found herself unavoidably distracted by the realization -- sudden, assaulting, mesmerizing -- that there was a sensual side to him she'd not really glimpsed before...might not ever again...He'd be the kind of guy who would spend forever trailing his tongue down your skin, the guy who would want to kiss you if he saw you eating dark chocolate or drinking red wine...the kind of man who would put a hand on either side of your jaw, tilting it at an angle, his eyes narrowing and clouding even before he touched his lips to your neck...he'd been assailed by all-too-tangible images of what it would be like to trail his tongue down her bare stomach - to taste the sweetness of whipped cream on her skin, to feel her tremble beneath him uncontrollably.
Me: *foom*
Erotic desserts...lips...tongue...wow. I need a cigarette.
Date: January 22, 2007 09:17 am Title: The Return
I have no words. None! This is beautiful, and heartbreaking. Wow.
10 [Report This]Date: January 22, 2007 07:51 am Title: The Return
AAh! No, you can't end it there! This was lovely, by the way. Brought tears to my eyes.
One nitpick, though... in this sentence in the 5th paragraph: "The cut had been as abrupt as lightening, " "lightening" should be "lightning".
Date: January 22, 2007 05:29 am Title: The Return
Yes! I love that Dido song (remember when it was used in Love Actually??) thanks for putting that in there. This was really well written, I love the idea of Pam "wearing Jim down" over time to the point where he just can't hide it any more. So true.
Date: January 21, 2007 08:17 pm Title: The Return
Wow that was an intense chapter. Lots of emotion. Hope you continue with the rest of the season.
Date: January 21, 2007 06:48 pm Title: The Return
Ack, Meredith! *headdesk*
Date: January 21, 2007 10:24 am Title: The Return
"Here with Me" is a perfect song to include in this story. So heartbreaking and beautifully written. Thanks for this!
Author's Response: Yeah, it was what really drove the mood of this whole piece. So much of the time, what I write is inspired more by music than anything else, and this one was no exception. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: January 21, 2007 09:03 am Title: The Return
Wow. You truly have a gift for the "unseen" (as it were!) I loved that you had Jim truly try to fall for Karen and that she was a worthy distraction... dare I say I completely believed how he threw himself into their relationship and enjoyed it. It was completely believable. But you captured the spirit of the episode and made the connecting scene of happy broken-brained Jim to sad, disjointed Jim very easily and perfectly. After watching that scene (no doubt) 150 times, I wondered how his mood could shift so quickly. You provide plausible answers that fit perfectly in with the characters.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for your feedback; you've been a reviewing machine over the past few days! (And I really appreciate it - I still love to hear what people think of the older stuff as well.)
Glad you're enjoying this - hope I can keep entertaining you! :o)
6 [Report This]Date: January 20, 2007 11:46 pm Title: The Return
I like the idea of this story, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you're going to take it. I think you've done a good job capturing Jim's emotions in particular. I have some constructive criticism if you're open to it; I hope it doesn't offend you, I really like your fic and you asked for feedback. I thought the dream sequences were a bit lengthy and confusing, particularly because the story began with one. However, it's possible I was the only one confused. I also thought the second section could probably be cut because it adds to the time confusion without adding much to the main thrust (heh) of your story. I also think you used a lot of adverbs; cutting some might make the story a bit tighter and give the conflict more impact. My last thought might be more personal preference about the characters, but I think the end might be a teensy too angsty (it takes up two sections, the trembling jaws, both crying, etc.). Anyways, I hope this was helpful. Are you planning on continuing right from this point, or picking up at the next episode? Good work!
Author's Response:
Hey, thanks for the thoughtful review -- and concrit is always welcome. It's interesting that you mention in particular the second section and the potential for it being cut because it's unnecessary -- good eye there, because I actually added it after the fact; I generally (at least in this particular series - and the original) like to try to capture the story from both of their points of view, alternating between the two at first and then concluding with both. All this to say that yes, you made a good point here.
As for adverbs - ditto that my brother/sister. It's a weakness for me. :o)
Yes, I do intend to continue this, but I'll be going backwards and doing one for each episode this season from The Merger forward.
Again, thanks for taking so much time & offering such a careful & thoughtful review!
Date: January 20, 2007 11:38 pm Title: The Return
uuuuuuuuugh. This was heartbreaking. But at the same time I love you SO much for starting this series up again! I can't wait for you to continue. I will look forward to this so much!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it, LoveFool -- thanks for reviewing!
9 [Report This]Date: January 20, 2007 09:49 pm Title: The Return
I really liked this! I think you should definitly continue. I loved how you made Jim actually seem sort of happy with Karen. It makes him seem like less of a jerk. I can't wait to read your next segment!
Author's Response: Thanks Beth! Glad I made Jim sympathetic - I know he's frustrating some of the audience right now, but I genuinely think he's trying so hard. Ah well. :o)
Date: January 20, 2007 09:40 pm Title: The Return
Okay, seriously? You were going to sit on this and deprive me us of it for an extra day? Shameful, Ms. Stupensky, shameful. Every little detail is perfect, and it broke my heart in the best way. I hate that I can't quite articulate how much I loved this, so I'll just say: I loved it. And if anyone is even able to find ANY suckage or errors, then blame me all you want (too bad that will never happen).
Author's Response: Yay, so glad you liked it! And when I say I'm glad it broke your heart, I mean that in the best way, too. :o) Thanks again!
Date: January 20, 2007 09:24 pm Title: The Return
You know how you feel when the next Harry Potter is out and your about to read it? Or it's 8:29 on a thursday night? Yeah, that's kind of what it's like. [/Oscar]
Seriously though, WHAT was keeping you from posting this?! No one, absolutely no one can do desperate!heartbroken!pleasjustsaysomehtingPam!Jim! Better than you. I am so so so glad you have restarted this series. I am to a flutter to leave a coherent review at the moment, sorry about that.
Althoug I will say, the thing about the steering fluid? Awesome. I always wanted a fic where she has a Pam Book of sorts. Keeping a record of all of her firsts. Like a scrapbook! That would be creative and cute like her!
Wonderful first chapter!
Author's Response:
Whoa, the way your review started was such a compliment -- thank you!
The power steering fluid was just something I could see Pam being proud of handling on her own, no matter how simple it is, you know?
I'm happy to have started the series back, too, because I had so much fun doing the last one! I'd like to catch up and post week to week, but I'm sure about the likelihood of that happening.
Thanks again for the awesome review!
Date: January 20, 2007 09:15 pm Title: The Return
I seriously have a lump in my throat right now. OMG I want more please!!
Author's Response:
Yay- glad you liked it! Working on more, though it might be a while....
Thanks for the review, BTW!