Date: January 27, 2007 08:02 am Title: Chapter 1
in your mind you have to go and get him first because he's not standing next to you anymore.
Amazing line in an amazing piece. Beautiful work with the inspiration of the poem.
Date: January 23, 2007 05:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is so gorgeous. The second person, and those tight, final, direct sentences of each part. Hits a nerve. Oh, Pam.
9 [Report This]Date: January 23, 2007 05:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
"He can be yours if you decide to be brave." - sums up the situation perfectly, n'est-ce pas?
As usual, beautifully written, with a poignant last line.
Date: January 23, 2007 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow. I'm speechless. And if you truly knew me you'd know that's quite a feat. This was just so lovely and so...PAM. Oh please let her be brave. Gosh if she only knew what we do...
Date: January 23, 2007 01:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
Sad and sweet and wistful and hopeful and all that good stuff....that sometimes it felt like he had his arms around you, his lips on your forehead. Yes! This is what their understanding (their emotional intimacy) was like. Perfect. And this: he really says yes. Somehow using the simple word 'really' there speaks volumes. Lovely, lovely.
Date: January 23, 2007 01:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
He can be yours if you decide to be brave.
That is exactly, spot on. Pam, hurry up and grow a pair!!!
*laughs*
Thanks so much for this.
cheers.
--Lex
Date: January 23, 2007 12:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
this filled me with so much hope and sadness, but in a good way. i loved it
Date: January 23, 2007 12:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
Lovely! This has such a nice tone - hopeful and vivid.
10 [Report This]Date: January 23, 2007 12:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was wonderful!
This line was amazing: You and he used to talk about things like that, and your ideas and his ideas were always so similar that sometimes it felt like he had his arms around you, his lips on your forehead.
Date: January 23, 2007 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
I really liked this, especially using the scarf as a metaphor for Pam needing to loosen up when it comes to Jim :) Excellent.
Date: January 23, 2007 12:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is sooo true! He can be yours if you decide to be brave. Now, if we could hire a skywriter in Scranton, all would be right with the world.
I really like what you did with the inspiration, breaking the lines apart, and letting Pam's thoughts run. Beautiful.
10 [Report This]Date: January 23, 2007 12:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
kind of confused, initially, when i read that challege bit. but kerouc is good times and so's this piece. really, didn't know how someone could approach this challenge.
"You've never liked feeling weightless alone." wonderful line.
great 2nd person narrative. they're easy to goof up, but you do well with it here. respect.