Date: February 09, 2007 07:36 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
I like the writing method you've used here. Not only was it interesting to read, but it was very easy to keep track of the different ideas/episodes you were presenting. The way you shifted between Jim and Pam's longing was very effective.
Date: February 07, 2007 10:51 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
You are so, so talented. I'm in awe. Well done. This was my favorite : [A coat rack turns into a way to make eye contact with her while the one she belongs to stands right there. It’s dangerous and perfect and he wishes she would look between them and say “You. You. You,” until nothing else matters.] It was so good I stopped in my tracks and went back to read it a few times. And this: She thinks to herself, maybe I’ll start speeding up instead. Because she needs to start somewhere. Baby steps, Pam.
Date: February 07, 2007 07:44 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
This was brilliant. I enjoyed remembering their happier times in the S2 while reading the beginning of this - and then the sad parts of S3 in the last part. And this line was so moving - "I wish I could give you me again and again and again, this time when I don’t already have someone else’s name written on my tag. I wish I could erase her name from yours and write mine in permanent ink." You have such a wonderful way with words.
Date: February 07, 2007 07:31 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
A coat rack turns into a way to make eye contact with her while the one she belongs to stands right there. It’s dangerous and perfect and he wishes she would look between them and say “You. You. You,” until nothing else matters.
I loved this line because that scene did show such a connection between the two of them. Pam's covert wink and Jim's squinty, intense gaze all in front of Roy. So good.
Every scene you've written here is so gorgeous and perfect. I love AU stuff too, but it's great to take the actual scenes from the show and get into the characters' thoughts and emotions. You should be proud of this piece, CNR!
Date: February 07, 2007 03:04 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
So I'm reviewing this as I go along, basically because I'm having a bit of an OH MY GOD moment.
I've heard tell of what an awesome writer you are, but I hadn't really read anything by you (or so I thought) so I decided to give this a try (not only because of everything I've heard about you but also because it is such a gorgeous title). Then, lo and behold, I realized that you were the one who wrote there's nothing on my horizon except everything and now you've written this and my brain has exploded, just a little. NO WONDER EVERYONE IS CRAZY ABOUT YOUR WORK. When you come up with lines like there would be no weekends (those blank stretches where they don't exist together), it's pretty obvious that you're an incredibly talented writer. Because OH, I love that line.
And Pam, oh Pam, the part where she goes home and doesn't call him or email him or write him, and then she can't draw either because it's like she's got nothing left... seriously. That's such a subtle, perfect way of saying how she feels without having to say, "And now Pam is sad because she is lonely without Jim."
And the end, with like one of them struck a match and started the whole thing over again, just GUH. This is so beautiful, and I love the way you've structured it because every sentence is important and fabulously written... oh man. Just-- just... incredible work. Really.
Ha, I wasn't thinking way back when I set up my account here, and on LJ, so it gets confusing when people refer to me as CNR instead of Bennie. I don't do well with internet handles, I guess. :)
Sorry I made your brain explode! I'm so glad that you liked this (and there's nothing on my horizon...) and this is, I think, one of the most thoughtful and detailed reviews I've ever received. You have picked up on absolutely everything I was trying to get across, and then some. I'm so glad you liked the structure, too, because this is the second time I've used it and I didn't want to seem redundant, or something. Just...thank you. (And, you know, you're a pretty amazing writer yourself. :))
Date: February 07, 2007 02:29 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
this made me cry...I am so jealous. I suck at beautiful metaphors...yours will ease my pain awhile
Author's Response: Thank you....didn't mean to make you cry! But, I'm glad that your pain is eased. :)
Date: February 07, 2007 02:05 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
I love how balanced this is - my heart's breaking for him - then her - and just...sigh.
This is exactly why I love them so much. You've written it all down for me. So now - next time someone asks I can just point them here and say "This is why..."
Just amazing. Thank you.
Author's Response: Wow, xoxoxo, you've left me (semi)speechless. Just...thank you for the review. :)
Date: February 07, 2007 12:40 pm Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
When he leaves, he looks at her and she feels on fire, like one of them struck a match and started the whole thing over again. Beginning at the end, that line is brilliant. It articulates exactly what I imagine happening.
It’s funny, the day I can’t talk to you is the day I tell you the most. I wish you would listen.~ That is absolutely the essence of that day - and of his yearning to tell her, and his frustration and ...oh, it's all there.
I wish I could give you me again and again and again Yup, that's it. She wants it to be that simple, but knows it's not. And so many other touching details/lines - her keeping her apt. clean just in case, afraid she's talking too loud...all her insecurity and just wanting him and not knowing how to make it happen. And then the intangible nature of how they finally do connect. I know I'm rambling, but this is the kind of story that makes me babble. Really exquisite.
Author's Response: Wow. It's such a huge compliment when you get a babbling review. :) I am so glad you picked up on all of the little details, the pamsecurities, and then the way it will (and it WILL) happen when they finally reconnect. Oh, them. Oh, you. Thanks. <3
Date: February 07, 2007 11:42 am Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
She thinks that maybe she’s finally done crawling out of the ashes.
Great line in a story full of great lines. I loved this. Ached over this. Thank you.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, nej!
Date: February 07, 2007 08:55 am Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
I could quote this whole piece back to you, but that would be silly, so instead I say this: the structure is gorgeous, the change in POV is perfect, the imagery is amazing, and overall this is one of my favorites in a long time. This sums Pam up so beautifully: She tries out new hairstyles and pushes away the voice in the back of her mind repeating it’s too late over and over and over again.
I think she's still hearing it, don't you? But the winds are changing. I still have hope. I love this, thank you.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you, lis! I still have hope too...those winds better change soon before all my hope floats away into the box Greg Daniels keeps in his basement.
Date: February 07, 2007 08:25 am Title: the earth is warmer when you laugh
I think I've told you about fifty-five million times how much I love this. It's getting favorited right now.
A fax from Dwight to Dwight is a reason for her to hope, to imagine his shadow falling over her desk as he tells her his latest plan, and her part in it. She hopes she always has a part in his plan.
And this will break my heart until the end of time. SO. LOVELY. I was having a horrible morning and then you put this up and now I'm in a happy place again. Wanna know why?
Something changes and she wishes she could pinpoint how or why so she could repeat it, but then she realizes that it doesn’t matter. When he leaves, he looks at her and she feels on fire, like one of them struck a match and started the whole thing over again. She thinks that maybe she’s finally done crawling out of the ashes.
Author's Response: Oh, YOU. Your reviews always make me blushy. And I'm sorry about your horrible morning! Maybe I'll write that Roy/Ryan beard rubbing just for you to read and make you feel better, characterization be damned.;)