Date: August 07, 2008 06:55 am Title: Chapter 1
"Nostalgia gets easier with time and eventually Jim Halpert is like a war hero, or distant ancestors. Years later and there are scraps of him tucked in boxes and folded into photo albums and I remember is kind of a lie."
That just killed me. This was a very interesting piece of writing in that sense. It was like you were detailing the essence of the characters and I liked that uncomfortable vagueness. I'd love to see more in a similar vein.
10 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2007 08:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
That was one helluva mood piece. I'd give more insightful feedback, but I'm trying to watch a hockey game at the same time, so I've got nothing other than vague praise.
Author's Response:
:D yay hockey!
Thank you for reviewing!
Date: April 13, 2007 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh that was just beautiful. I absolutely loved the imagery in this story - every word was strange and sweet and heartbreaking. I have to admit I kind of teared up at the end! As soon as an author begins to talk about lost chances and nostalgia, I'm an absolute goner. Fanstastic job.
Author's Response:
Aww thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it!
I'm a sucker for sad stories too :D
Date: March 29, 2007 07:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
You're breaking my heart but I still love that she's so happy.
Never, EVER, be sorry for posting chapters early! I'm already waiting anxiously for the next one! Beautiful writing in all the chapters!
Author's Response:
Thanks, so much.
Glad you are enjoying it!
10 [Report This]Date: March 16, 2007 03:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
Of course you need to continue...Not continuing is just Crazy talk!! I have to see what happens!!
Author's Response:
Thanks!
I really do want to continue-I'm just worried about how consistent it will turn out. I did finish the next part and sent it to be beta-ed so if all goes well it will be up in a few days.
Date: March 16, 2007 01:53 pm Title: Chapter 1
I am intrigued.
I like stories where Pam has the self-respect to do something that will move her in the direction of possible happiness, with or without Jim. She's doing it for herself and that's all that matters.
I love the reference to glaciers: frozen but moving.
Thanks so much. I look forward to more.
cheers.
--Lex
Author's Response:
Thanks- I definitely want to see Pam do something for her own happiness, and when I first wrote this (I actually started like a r e a l l y long time ago) I thought it would be excruciating to stay in that situation for so long- now I think it makes a bit more sense that she might leave (for a while at least).
Thanks for reading
Date: March 16, 2007 09:23 am Title: Chapter 1
I love the style of your writing, and this story (although it's a little sad!), but I'm not sure of a few things.
When there's an elbow bump, is that with Toby? And sharing a moment like that with Toby makes her think of Jim?
"When she leaves" is that leaving Dunder-Mifflin for good, to go to a new job, or just leaving for the day? The specific date of February 13th throws me off a little bit, just because it's already passed and it was right before Phyllis's wedding, and Pam was obviously still at D.M. (Maybe this was marked as A.U. and I didn't notice.)
Then I wasn't positive whether the application was for school or a job (I'm assuming school).
I'm guessing: she left D.M., left Jim with her email address (major hint, Jim!), she's at a different job, has made a new friend, applies to art school, and Jim has never contacted her? But I'm not sure.
I guess what I'm saying is that I really love the style and the thoughts, but for ME, I need the dots connected just a little bit more. When I have to fill in and make assumptions, I'm not sure they're the right ones.
I love the first paragraph about moving on. It's poignant and angsty, and hits me in the grief bone (/Michael). All the Dwight stuff is so perfect.
I hope you continue, and connect the dots a little bit more (for us slower folks).
Author's Response:
thanks for reading!
Actually I wrote this almost six months ago and it seemed pretty irrelevant until now (so timeline problems were ignored). Okay I don't want to give too much away but the leaving thing is a done deal but the last day has not taken place. Sorry if anything was unclear. The timeline thing is a bit wonky but I am probably the most easily distracted writer in the world, I can get completely bogged down by trying to describe a character opening a door so in my experience the less you say the better.
(I do love writing Dwight- there's a little Dwight in all of us. Or is that just me? :D)
Thanks again
10 [Report This]Date: March 16, 2007 08:39 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, this was really good. Quiet, if that makes sense, and very very moving. Excellent pacing. Dwight high-fiving Pam when Jim fails to, and the last line was so sad, but I'm hopeful Pam will make it! I'm so proud of her in this! It feels like this is a good place to stop with this story... but if you wanted to continue it I wouldn't object. Just hope the style is the same...
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
I am a little scared of continuing -I've got some stuff and I think it's coming out with the same tone but I think I'll have to read it over a few more times.
If I get the courage I hope you keep reading!
10 [Report This]Date: March 16, 2007 07:18 am Title: Chapter 1
I love it and would love it if you continued! I am also curious what becomes of our little Pam. Seriously, though, this is very well-written and lovely.
Author's Response:
Merci Beaucoup!!
Thanks for reading.
Date: March 15, 2007 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm loving the beginning... please continue!
Author's Response:
I'm about half done the next bit-glad you liked it!
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 15, 2007 09:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
I WANT YOU TO CONTINUE! As soon as possible, please.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much- I'm trying to get the next bit sorted out.
Thanks for commenting!