8 [Report This]Date: July 21, 2006 11:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is lovely. You capture the sadness of the situation very well.
Author's Response: Thank you. My initial idea wasn't so angsty, but that is just how it wrote itself. The last part will have more angst but will also be a bit more upbeat.
6 [Report This]Date: July 21, 2006 07:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Alright - you did it! First one! Nice inner mono for Jim. Second chapter?
Author's Response: I'm glad I broke the ice, and aspire to get as good as you at it. :)
8 [Report This]Date: July 21, 2006 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was so heartbreakingly beautiful. I loved all the ways you described how Jim knew that Pam felt something too. I'm glad you didn't leave this on your hard drive and I look forward to Chapter 2.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm a novice fiction writer so I'm glad to see it resonates with other people.
7 [Report This]Date: July 21, 2006 06:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
That song is perfect for Jam! Nice lead-in. I love this: "he always had this acute sense of her gaze when it landed of his skin" - I like thinking that Jim recognized Pam's feelings for him, even if Pam didn't really have a clue. I'd like to see where you go with the second part, so please do write it!
Author's Response: Thank you. That was actually my favourite sentence in that whole part.
10 [Report This]Date: July 21, 2006 06:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
Stalkerish confrontation may have worked in romantic novels, but in real life, girls didn’t dig it so much
I don't know. I think it depends on the stalker. ;)
Write more.
Author's Response: Hee. I agree that Jim is as good a stalker as they get. That sentence was very much inspired by my own life, and I would like to think Jim shares my thoughts on the subject. ;)