Date: May 31, 2007 06:23 pm Title: You have no idea...
Oh, that's good. Really, really good. I realy like Pam taking her time, but when ready, diving in. And Jim's patience is so sweet and fitting.
This is written so beautifully! I love it.
Date: May 29, 2007 06:45 pm Title: You have no idea...
You have done a really, really beautiful job with this. I am not usually a fan of things that permanently change the cannon like this (death, obvs., kind of doing that), but the way you have done this so realistically (it's sweet, and angry, and hot, and kind) - we will all be really fortunate if you can keep going. It seems like you've got to be pulling this from someplace pretty deep, though, so I hope our selfishness won't hurt you!
Date: May 29, 2007 03:09 pm Title: You have no idea...
This version was so nice. The update definitely was beneficial in my opinion. It left me relieved and eager for what happens next. Yay!
Date: May 29, 2007 01:12 pm Title: You have no idea...
AARRG cliff you and I are enemies!!! Cant wait.
10 [Report This]Date: May 29, 2007 11:13 am Title: You have no idea...
Okay, that's more like it. I could have lived with an angsty step backwards that was more understated and in character, but I think it's more organic to have Pam continue to grow and move forward. Your characterization here returns to being perfect and as always the writing itself is simply incredible. You are an amazing talent.
Date: May 29, 2007 09:00 am Title: You have no idea...
I definitely like the direction this chapter takes the story better than the old one. Great job...can't wait for more!
Date: May 29, 2007 08:06 am Title: You have no idea...
Oh WOW. Guh. And wow again. So achingly beautiful! I liked the old chapter because it was messy and real even though it was a huge step back for Pam, but I LOVED this, for obvious reasons. I like how you've redone it, moved things forward for them in a way that is still true to the story you've been telling and the way you've shaped their characters. Just amazing :)
Date: May 29, 2007 07:46 am Title: You have no idea...
The whole section at the end was absolutely amazing. Made me all sorts of teary because your version of Pam has so much trouble taking chances. I can imagine if S3 Pam had to go through such a traumatic experience she'd be just like this. I never read the earlier version of this chapter so no worries about that - I just love, love, love what you've done here.
Sad to hear there's only one more chapter - but so glad you shared this story w/us.
10 [Report This]Date: May 29, 2007 06:52 am Title: You have no idea...
Ok you GET Pam so much it's just a little bit creepy. Like this line: 'She had drawn staplers because staplers were all she saw.' Yeah, quite possibly one of my favorite sentences ever. This is brilliant. This chapter was brilliant. Seriously... the descriptions of everything she painted... awesome. Awesome. Thank you so much for writing. This is fantastic.
Date: May 29, 2007 06:19 am Title: You have no idea...
oh i love the way you write them. soulful is the perfect word. it's just beautiful.
but what did she paint???!!! haha so get that last chapter up already! :)
10 [Report This]Date: May 29, 2007 05:56 am Title: You have no idea...
This story continues to amaze me. I love every bit of it, but especially thi sentence: He froze, the air in his lungs even pausing to listen. That's just good old fashioned good sentence writing, right there.
Author's Response:
thanks! Thank you for sticking with the story through all of its ups and downs ;-)
10 [Report This]Date: May 29, 2007 05:51 am Title: You have no idea...
okay! I like this one much better. It's not that the last one was bad, but it was just suddenly really hard to relate to Pam and really feel for her. Here, you can still sense her hesitation but it's much more understandable and believable! I cannot wait to see what happens upstairs :)
Author's Response: lol I like this one better too! Thanks for reading!!!
Date: May 29, 2007 05:28 am Title: You have no idea...
Yay -- I like this new chapter MUCH better. And Pam's art therapy -- awe. some.
Um, upstairs? Gulp.
Date: May 29, 2007 05:22 am Title: You have no idea...
Revised version = worth waiting for. :-) So many lovely images. Three of my favorite passages...
"She painted things that sprouted up from the top soil of her mind’s eye. She let them flower on her canvas...."
"She placed what she knew of her father on an easel and, in that, made herself independent of him."
"She had ruined countless bed sheets because she had laid them on the floor beneath her easel and her paintbrush had been emphatic... There was no science in her art. There was no order. There was only honesty... and it had always been her experience that honesty was messy."
Other stuff... "She had drawn staplers because staplers were all she saw." I love how this says so much about Pam, so concisely. And Jim's internal monologue was funny and cute and him: "the painting was probably of fruit, or a bowl, or fruit in a bowl, or... just... act casual, he thought sternly."
Yay! Looking forward to the final chapter.
Date: May 29, 2007 01:13 am Title: You have no idea...
"There was no science in her art. There was no order. There was only honesty…and it had always been her experience that honesty was messy."
I love how you use this realization throughout the chapter. It's so true. And I think Pam really felt the weight of it when she decided to take the painting over to Jim's.
Also, I LOVED the dialogue between Jim and Mark. Such a roommate conversation!
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Date: May 29, 2007 12:25 am Title: You have no idea...
The tone of this reissued chapter is so completely different from the last. You went in a completely different direction and I think I like this better. This chapter seemed...life affirming. It seemed to take in all that Pam and Jim had been trying so hard to achieve in their time together since her father died and find a way to forge ahead. While I don't think that the former chapter 17 was bad at all, I do feel it was a step back for the couple and for Pam. And while I agree that that can be realistic in such a situation, this new chapter just seemed more...Pam-like.
As always, I love your lyrical use of language and descriptions, especially Pam's painting of her father. Just lovely.
10 [Report This]Date: May 29, 2007 12:22 am Title: You have no idea...
I loved this chapter so much. The picture of Pam painting is so vivid and beautiful. I read the first chapter 17 (the one I'm supposed to have forgotten about, I know), and I'm really glad you chose this option instead. Not that the last one was poorly written (because it absolutely wasn't), this version just fits with the story better and really shows Pam's growth wonderfully.
Amazing job!
Date: May 28, 2007 11:35 pm Title: You have no idea...
Wow, very well done. Pam's inner monolouge was very well done. Can't wait for the next chapter, keep em' comin'.
Date: May 26, 2007 08:51 pm Title: It was Tuesday.
Came to review chapter 17 (which I read offline) and it was gone! Wanted to delurk and say that I've loved reading this story, have followed it chapter by chapter, but I was almost too frustrated with Pam in chapter 17. I had so much sympathy built up for her in the wonderful characterization and backstory you are giving us, and this chapter felt almost one too long to wait for her to come around a little. I was *angry* at her for still being stuck, for jerking Jim around so much. And I didn't want to be angry--which is a credit to the characterization you'd already done. Guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next!
Author's Response: well lucky for all of us I've decided to take the chapter 17 in a whole different direction. It will probably be the final one. Let me know what you think once I've posted (which might take me a while since I want it to be right this time)
Date: May 26, 2007 07:35 pm Title: It was Tuesday.
I like how Jim has pranked Dwight, most likely so he can have something to take Pam's mind off other things, and give the two of them something to concentrate on besides their "relationship"! Love Michael's response.
Date: May 26, 2007 06:11 pm Title: Torturously realistic
Aww... I loved it. And I'll take dream smut, too. I'm really not picky.
Date: May 26, 2007 06:06 pm Title: Goodbye, Rand McNally.
I really like this chapter. I like him watching her sleep, and his realizations about Casino Night, his "confession" (again), him giving her time, and her coming to find him. Which, um, yeah, is pretty much the whole chapter...
Date: May 26, 2007 05:58 pm Title: Give her time.
Good advice from Pam's mom!
Date: May 26, 2007 05:52 pm Title: Another Tequila Shot
Wow. Crazy. Heartbreaking and hot and tense and everything. I would have thought that kiss would have left her not disappointed, unless she was disappointed that she bumped her head so it stopped...?
Author's Response: lol she's disappointed in a lot of things...but yeah bumping her head is up there on the list.
9 [Report This]Date: May 24, 2007 07:30 pm Title: It was Tuesday.
i love your style & sense of the characters. i'm not gonna lie; sometimes this story can get a little dramatic - but i really like it that way. you write so well, it doesn't matter. i loved the ghost of pam's dad staring at jim - in any other story, i would have thought it was dramatic, but it was so touching & real when i read it.
more soon, i hope.
Author's Response: lol I know. I try to make it more metaphor so that it isn't soooo dramatic. But hey it is what it is ;-) Thanks for the review!!