Date: December 04, 2007 10:40 am Title: Chapter 2
The conflicting emotions that Jim is feeling are just so spectacularly displayed by the conversational snippets. And meeting Roy. I knew it had to be coming, I mean, obviously he'd known Pam's family for years, but unexpected in the store, late at night? Ouch.
Date: November 30, 2007 01:43 pm Title: Chapter 2
The brilliance continues. Roy was part of her family, and Jim is new, and his uncertainty, coupled with her remoteness...this is beautiful, like a very fragile vase under pressure that could snap but probably won't. Love the tension.
Date: November 19, 2007 12:30 pm Title: Chapter 2
Oh dear, I can tell this is going to be a sad one, but I'm very intrigued! I love how you've portrayed everyone, especially Roy. Can't wait to read the rest!
10 [Report This]Date: November 18, 2007 11:22 am Title: Chapter 2
"Everything that was wrong with the world was illuminated." That is just such a perfect line. I hope you write "real" stories, too, stories that you can actually own, because you have a great voice for description and you should be able to get rich and famous from it someday.
10 [Report This]Date: November 16, 2007 06:11 am Title: Chapter 2
Oh no. Poor Pam. Poor Jim. What a mess. This is so sad but unfortunately a very real situation that they could be in at some point. It makes me sad that Jim has to deal with Roy on top of all that is going on. It's hard when someone you love shuts you out and all you want to do is be there for them. Very, very hard.
This is so good though. I mean I've always loved your writing and this is no exception. You manage to convey so much emotion in the most mundane conversations. Jim jumping on Pam talking about how she used to work there in an effort to simply be them again....so good. I can't wait to see where this goes, but I won't lie I'm worried my grief bone might take a beating.
Author's Response: don't worry...your grief bone may take a beating, but I promise I won't hit you with a frozen sledgehammer in the crotch...that's where I draw the line. lol. I do so appreciate the mundane, and I think for Jim right now...he is DYING for the mundane, so capturing those small moments is something I think he'd jump on, you're right. Thanks so much for reading Kells!
8 [Report This]Date: November 15, 2007 04:34 pm Title: Chapter 2
"What she would not do was turn to me with tears in her eyes and yell about how unfair it was that her father was dying. Scream that because of the terrible cancer that was eating away at him, this would be their last Thanksgiving together here on this earth."
How heartbreakingly sad. Jim's thoughts during Pam's conversation with Roy was funny though.
Author's Response: haha! Had to get some funny thoughts in at least to break in some of the tension going on here. I'm glad you're enjoying the angst and the "lighter" moments in the midst of it all.
Date: November 15, 2007 10:16 am Title: Chapter 2
Great story. I love Jim's thoughts throughout this story. Funny and heartache. I hope she can lean on him soon.
Author's Response: Here's hoping Pam realizes that what she needs is standing right in front of her, huh? THanks for reading kgarrett!
10 [Report This]Date: November 14, 2007 11:31 pm Title: Chapter 2
oooh. this does hurt... and on so many levels! but it's so real, it's amazing. and don't stress about the first person tense... i think you nailed it.
Author's Response: Thanks Starshine! The first person is getting to be pretty fun! I think I made some mistakes in the last chapter...but that's what I get for posting late at night when my brain is just on half-function.
Date: November 14, 2007 10:12 pm Title: Chapter 2
Because if I hadn't been able to get through to her before, it'd been even harder since we'd gotten to this house yesterday. Since yesterday the fence around her had turned from wooden to steel.
This story is hitting me very close to home. This bit is so true of Pam's character, but you've nailed my personal experience. She's trying so hard to make it go away by not facing it. And poor Jim! Farking Roy has seniority, but Jim's the better guy. This is a great story you're telling and you're very good at being Jim. :)
Author's Response: Thanks Sweetpea!!! You're so awesome, thanks so much for reccing this over on the boards! Thanks for helping me get some love! hehehe :-)....as for Roy having seniority -- yeah, I'm afraid so. I think there's something comforting about Roy for the family right now....
Date: November 14, 2007 10:00 pm Title: Chapter 2
Ok, upon careful reread of the summary, I caught the sarcasm. Nice work! I do like it. It's very raw. That's a good thing :)
Author's Response: "Raw"...I like that description a lot! Thanks for reading Pamcakes!