10

...WOW... I mean wow! Amazing... breathtaking... absolutely magical! That's it.... you are painting this picture with your words and that picture is turning out absolutely and incredibly MAGICAL!!!

I love that this chapter begins without preamble, just dives right in to Jim painting a picture for Pam of what his life was like growing up and exactly what it was that would drive him to make the decisions that he made. I have to admit, I certainly felt far more sympathy for the poor guy after reading all he had been through. Let's face it, it sounded like he was raised more in a company with a CEO than a family with a father. I mean, what young man in his right mind first off wants to be told that he doesn't have choices about his future and basically whether he wants it or not, the company is the only future he gets? What boy that is college aged and a bit older wants to be accompanied everywhere by body guards? Had his father LOOSENED the reigns rather than continuing to tighten them more and more as Jim seemed to be feeling a noose tighten around his neck, well, maybe his dad would have gotten Jim into the company.

Before I say any more about this part can I just say, the way that you sprinkle bits of the present, Jim rubbing Cece's back, Cece kicking her legs in her sleep, Pam stretching over to watch what Cece is doing and what I just love, Jim asking if his daughter is dreaming... it just bring so much more life to the story and makes it just... amazing. I mean, you are just so amazing with that imagery, of the descriptions of the things that newborn babies do. I swear each time I read a description I could picture one of my three children as a newborn doing that very thing. It kept us all in the present, remembering the magnitude of exactly whar was going on, Jim getting to hold and get to know his baby daughter for the very first time. Him getting to know the 'other girl' that he would fall in love with, the one that will one day not too crazy far into the future, call Pam mommy, just as Jim had told her in the memory he had back so many months ago.

Anyhow, wow... the story about Katy was so compelling! I certainly didn't forsee the twist where she claimed that Jim had forced himself on her. WOW! I never did care for Katy at all! She was certainly much better suited for Roy! :o) Anyhow, one can only imagine Jim living in the hell his life had become after the debacle with Katy and of course all parents are guilty of the 'told you so's' but WOW! I can only imagine what Jim got from his! Adding to that more guards... people knowing his dirty laundry and judging him... yeah, one can understand much more why he ran and even why he went to the lengths he did to try and remain hidden even if that meant not exposing himself to the girl he fell in love with until he really felt that he could. I like that Pam just kinda instinctively knew that he planned to tell her that night. I felt so bad for Pam as Jim continued his story, when he told about his dad showing up and telling him Pam was pregnant and knew who he was and was another Katy... when Pam asked how he knew and Jim told her that PIs had been following her too, I can just imagine how ill she felt. The invasion of her privacy would have to have felt tremendous. What I love here about how you fo it at this point is you go back and forth a bit, kinda weaving a complete story of what happened in their lives while they were apart. I love that Jim didn't blame Pam for not staying, he understood why she couldn't. I DO though understand why Jim feels strongly that Adele needs told, and truth be told, very recently Pam had plans to do that very thing so I hope she will do the right thing. Anyhow, Jim wants it knows that this is HIS child, HIS daughter. He doesn't want anything fake or faulse in his, or their lives. I have a feeling that about now he wants to scream from the mountaintops that he has found Pam again and that they have a baby girl... THEIR baby girl. Not Kenny's... not Anderson... HIS, HERS... Halpert!

Oh man, the picture you painted, I could see it so vivlidly when he sat beside her and put his hand on her stomach, so intimately, and asked if she thought of him when Cece was in there... I swear it kinda made me want to cry. Cry for the long lonely nights they each had missing each other... cry for what they nearly missed out on.

Then the most beautiful part of it all and a part that I am so familiar with and could envision just so perfectly... Cece gets hungry and Pam is going to feed her, I'm glad she didn't like go in the bathroom or have Jim leave the room even though she covered up. I mean, part of me thought it was silly, he has obviously been exposed to those parts of HERS plenty but then I remembered back to when I was nursing a baby and I remembered in the beginning having those open and exposed feelings even sometimes with my own husband in the room so yeah, it made sense. I was also able to feel her frustration and agony over wanting so much to nurse a baby that can't get it's latch right. I didn't nurse my first. I was young and stupid and really, at that point the push to nurse hadn't really started so with me going back to work 5-6 weeks post partum everyone thought bottles made sense. When I had my second, nearly 4 years later, the nursing push was full force and I KNEW I was going to nurse this one. Infortunately things like lactation consultants and such weren't widely known and when I had problems getting him to latch the only help were the nurses and not one of the nurses on duty at the time had even nursed their own baby. I took home a baby that still wasn't latching and though I tried hard, with almost no one to give me any information, I eventually failed. (and felt like a failure!) I know just how Pam is feeling, it really hurts. Giving in and giving a bottle is almost physically painful. I love love LOVE how you have Jim as the catalyst to her success here. He can see the toll it's taking on her and not only the pain and longing in Pam's eye's but in Cece's as well. I love how Jim asks Pam to trust him as he puts the pillows at the headboard for her to relax on the bed and I have to say, the visual of him asking 'will you trust me?' and her nodding yes as he then approaches her and unbuttons her shirt just so natuarally while having to ignore the images his mind is throwing his way, meantime because Jim didn't make a big deal of it, as he nads Pam the baby just by instinct she opens her bra but then it's that exposed feeling and I know she'd of had to feel a bit panicky but I just LOVE the image of Jim right by her side, urging her on, asking her to try, kneading the tension from her shoulders as she is just relishing his touch, him telling her that there's no need to rush 'it's just us' I mean... pure beauty there! Then you brought in the scene from outside the hospital and I wanted to give you a big ole virtual kiss because I always really loved that scene as they finally got it. What I love about it so much here is you really sold me on them making it work together. I don't know if it would have worked had Jim not been there because he helped her relax... gave her permission to take her time. The thing is, of all the things, the moments, the experiences that the Andersons got that should have belonged to Jim, well, to Pam and Jim as a couple, they didn't get this one. This one belongs just to him... to them... and it happened because they worked at it together and they trusted each other. I hope that Pam in particular is going to be able to look at that, see it for what it is. I hope she'll realize that blame doesn't matter any longer, the truth is, she's had all the experiences and he's had none and it's JIM that belongs with her and Cece... not the Anderson's. At this point the thought of Roy sleeping on the couch in her room, helping her with Cece when Jim is there and wants to very much be as much of their ;ives as Pam will allow so the thought of Roy doing... anything, maked me a bit ill. I do have a feeling that when Roy get wind that Cece's daddy is arouns he's probably going to make some last play, try to scare Pam again, convince her that the truth will hurt his mom, whatever he has to do. But I think that Pam, in that one visit to the hotel probably got enough Jim to make her realize she wants him, she loves him and he and Cece don't deserve to be apart.

SOOOOOOO such a beautiful magical chapter, why'd ya have to crush me at the end???? Why couldn't she just lay down and get some sleep while baby and daddy slept? Notice I said baby and daddy but you'll NEVER bear me say baby daddy or baby momma... UGH! (I'm old I suppose!) I worry about how Jim will react when he wakes. Did Pam at least leave him a way to contact her? Serious;y, I was on such a high all chapter and then I read that she picked up Cece from his chest (I mean really, couldn't he have had a nice peaceful sleep with his bundle of joy he was just getting aquainted with asleep on his chest the whole time?? Or at leasr til she woke?? Is that REALLY too much to ask???) but she picks her up and returns where she doesn't belong... I mean to the Andersons. I have a feeling that Pam is going to quickly see more and more that she doesn't belong there. I hope we don't have to wait long at all to see a tight bond form here amongst our sweet little family to be. :::::sigh::::: It would make me just so very happy. Oh and maybe Jim buying a ring... WAIT... he had planned to propose in Scranton, I bet he HAS a ring.... I hope it won't be too ;png til Pam has it. Oh dear... I'm getting way ahead here.

Seriously... this story is getting more and more brilliant and honestly, aside from how extrmelY painful chapter 10 is for me on a personal level (and I know as we have 'talked' that you truly do understand that, this is becoming possibly my very favorite story! (I mean, in getting there it has to beat out 'Learning to Love Again!!' What a feat! This story is just so truly original and you have really put yourself out there by being willing to post it even when it scared you to death. O would say that it has paid off in a big way because it's a truly remarkable piece of work that those that read it I don't think will forget anytime soon.

Now... I need MORE!!! I need a fix soon! You are giving us glimpses of a possibility of a Jim and Pam side by side with Cece in their arms, existing together happily and I need more than the glimpse... please... I BEG YOU!!! I've had some really rough days and WOW what some happiness here could do for me!!! (Is it working? Should I keep pouring it on??? )

Seriously... keep up the AMAZING work and I'd like to put in an order for like... another hundred or so chapters. Thanks!

Seriously... thanks for sharing another chapter!

This was absolutely beautiful. I think I've read this chapter at least 10 times. I just wanted to pipe in this late in the game to tell you how wonderful I think this story is. Definitely in my top 5---and it keeps getting better each chapter! A sincere 'thank you' from this reader!

Thanks for updating, Dedeen.  I liked the intimacy and emotion of this chap.  It was lovely for Jim to share in this private moment with Pam and the baby.  It seemed very natural--as if they truly were a family.  I'm happy that they're on the way to reestablishing their connection.  Anxious to see how this plays out with the grandparents, Roy and the mess that's been created.