Date: January 28, 2021 11:02 pm Title: Chapter 11
My brain is melted from being back to work so the coherency of my reviews is down a keleventy percent, but I need you to know that this is perfect & I’m genuinely devastated that Jim and Dwight solving crime in the Savannah isn’t a spin off show that NBC has run with. You should pitch it to them, with this story.
Date: January 27, 2021 10:21 pm Title: Chapter 11
Okay, I am still deeply suspicious of why Packer wanted Wallace here.
I like how this came out when Jim observing Dwight and Angela's relationship. It felt like you struck the right balance between recognizing that the audience feels like they've got a good idea of what the dynamic is, and acknowledging that Jim doesn't and wouldn't just be able to tell somehow.
I will say, I Feel like Pam is still very much alive as a reasonable murder suspect, and I am going to be just tickled pink if you end up going that route. That feels like it would be fascinating. But also, my suspect after this chapter is... Schoolboy Rowe, probably in consultation with Creed, who has been giving him illicit steroid-like substances.
Date: January 27, 2021 08:45 pm Title: Chapter 11
The plot thickens. Proof that Packer has been blackmailing just about everyone there in Savannah. However Roy's not in the ledger. We also still don't know where Jim's notebook is.
You're doing a great job of for every question answered two or three more take its place. I honestly still don't have any idea who the real murderer is. It still could be anyone there.
I do like that one of Jim's motivations is to steal Pam away from everything though. However it's also good that he can push those thoughts aside and focus. Great job.
Can't wait to read more. Hope you can find time to keep up with the writing.
Date: January 27, 2021 03:30 pm Title: Chapter 11
Oh BT! I am so enthralled by this story! All the delightfully intricate details and canon elements woven so seamlessly together, it feels so original. Jim and Dwight working as a team is just perfect. I can’t wait to read all these clues unfolding like a flower in the coming chapters.
Date: January 27, 2021 02:58 pm Title: Chapter 11
“I’m protecting someone I love. That’s all you’ll hear from me.” ...DAMN, THAT HURT
There's that Lipton-Angela-Dwight-Oscar love square mess I've been waiting for! I really feel for Dwight here, the near pet-name got to me.
I love that Jim is pushing for evidence, despite all odds. Even Dwight, who he's already had a rapport with. But he's methodical, too, telling them the truth but with a easy, calming tone. It gains their trust, and thus, spills their secrets. No wonder he wants to write bigger stories.
Angela is SO in character here. Stubborness, denial, regret, deflection... excellent. Also, Oscar, being a Georgian native? Great, now all I can hear is his voice from the real "Murder" episode. "...We'got no greenbacks..." Curious as to what his deal is (outside of the obvious).
I mean... I dunno, I'm still pointing my finger at Phyllis, but we'll see. As I said, Toby is too outwardly weird to be the guy, Michael is well, Michael, and Jim? Okay, I'm going to say no, but I'm keeping that in my back pocket. Not letting that go, not completely.
Still, though, an amazing turn of events, can't wait to read more!
(How did you do this to me?)
Date: January 27, 2021 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 11
I'm curious how long Dwight and Angela's secret will be able to stay a secret. I'm also wondering how much information that Jim finds out will he share with Pam. All of it? Is there still a part of him that is suspicious of her? I also can't wait to see the questioning with Oscar.
Date: January 20, 2021 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 10
So I usually leave reviews following every few chapters but I downloaded the whole thing as a ePub when I finally got to start it. because of that I've been reading it like a novel because frankly it reads like one.
So clever and intriguing and it's really keeping me on the edge of my seat.
I got all caught up in a few days reading until later than I planned in the evenings cause it's so good.
The dynamics you've got going with Jim and Dwight are delightful, Jim still clearly frustrated with this strange guy but I also am enjoying the slight swap of their roles.
And the love story brewing with Pam and Jim is just as much heartfelt as in show but with the added pang for Pams situation this time tied to Roy by something more than her own personal chains. This addition both adds suspense and suspicion but also makes us root even more for the Jim to protect her and sweep her away.
Can't wait to see what's going to happen next.
Date: January 18, 2021 03:18 am Title: Chapter 10
I'm sorry, but who exactly do you think you are? I reread that entire section in the bathroom several times and muttered some curses under my breath at the perfection. How. Dare. You.
You have this deep, rich relationship between them, even under these unique circumstances and I am so here for it.
I love the Jim/Dwight interaction. You have captured that relationship perfectly.
And what a cliffhanger! (I really love cliffhangers, btw.)
I'm going to go back and swoon over those first paragraphs again now, k thanks.
Date: January 17, 2021 10:36 pm Title: Chapter 10
Oh, the immediate shift in tone between the flirty flirt and the comic crashing into things and the legitimate fear to it being DWIGHT was fun to read. And I adored the Jim-Dwight dynamic here - bickering with mutual respect but mainly with mutual irritation. Jim having to remind Dwight *he* was the one who asked for help made me laugh out loud.
I still thinking someone from the staff must be in on it because of the notebook - or maybe that's what the person who initially moved the notebook WANTS us to think.
I'm guessing they found Packer's ledger of bets or blackmail. Some sort of record of his crimes/what he has on anyone. Heck of a cliffhanger to leave us on.
Date: January 17, 2021 07:46 pm Title: Chapter 10
Where do I even *begin*?! The bathroom scene was amazing. I'm so, so glad that they are finally able to express their feelings for one another. I'm sad that Dwight ruined it, but I guess he was better than Roy. My heart dropped whenever the notebook was declared missing, so I don't even want to know what Jim was feeling. I also feel like you want us to think Pam took it because she was the only one in the room that we know of, but I don't want to think Pam took it, so I'm not going to. If Pam ends up being the thieving murderer, then my life will be forever changed. And then that cliffhanger!! What did they find?! I don't even know where to begin guessing on what's in the book. Next chapter asap as possible, please.
Date: January 17, 2021 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 10
Please. The domesticity. I literally cannot get enough.
“with a delicate click that was just as loud as a slam” Rude of whoever it is to interrupt them so, but I’m not mad about this particularly brilliant piece of writing.
Even though, he’s right & I’m all for letting go of the minutia like tidying rooms after finding a corpse, I love that this is such a well done link to canon. It’s just there, without being smack you in the face obvious.
Dwight’s frustration with Jim is hilarious. It’s palpable & it is fantastic. He’s such a well written Dwight. “a wavering look of controlled calm on his face”
Oh. BT. What did I do to hurt you? I can’t believe you’re leaving me on a cliffhanger like that. I live in anticipation of your next update...
Date: January 17, 2021 06:10 pm Title: Chapter 10
A golden morning indeed. Had Dwight not knocked I'm sure there would have been a different kind of knocking for sure.
Jim's notebook is gone. There's a clear suspect for that. I was about to ask why Pam would take it, but there could be a host of reasons. However there's also lots of reasons to think it was someone else.
Detective Jim and Dwight are in fine form. Love how Dwight is basically taking charge with everything. Jim's head has been filled with visons of Pam so he feels a bit more scatterbrained. Feels like he needs someone like Dwight to keep him on track.
So what did we find? Should be good when we find out.
Date: January 17, 2021 06:09 pm Title: Chapter 10
“I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll think of something. You have to be taught, Mr. Halpert."
Hi I'd like to report a MURDER WHO THE--
“I pulled a body out of a lake, too, and my room doesn’t look like this.” Your Dwight is so perfect omfg.
Can I just say that I am 1000% Team Jim&Dwight: PI? They are so cleverly in character but work together like we see them in the later seasons of the show. I LOVE that you have them as buddies here. It's hilarious and perfect and the image of them walking through walls and sneaking around is just *chef's kiss.*
Also. I am worried about Jim's notebook. I'm concerned. I'm mad at you for stealing it.
Date: January 17, 2021 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 10
The JAM moments continue to be wholesome and Roy continues to be a roadblock. And a powerful one at that.
I am LIVING for this Schrupert dynamic. There aren't any pranks, no, but Jim's reactions to Dwight and his methods - and Dwight being *correct* about some of them despite Jim's position - is everything. And the fact that Dwight believes Jim about the notebook proves that these two understand each other better than they realize. It's been a thing with these two since Season 3 (which I'm rewatching for my own story) and it shines here.
Admittedly I still kinda want my Jim theory to happen, even though this chapter indicates that that theory's dead, but I did forget to mention my other (and more plausible) suspect last review: Phyllis. From the over-the-top fainting to her conversation with Stanley to her questioning Dwight's methods of interrogation and investigation, she has secrets and DAMNING ones, especially we know the least about her (well, besides Andy, but it's hard to take him seriously, even in this). Like Angela, she is married into wealth, but we know how Angela is in this story and there is motivation there to have Packer dead. Phyllis's motivation remains to be seen. It also adds to the canon Phyllis, being a kind motherly figure one moment and then full-on Regina George the next.
An interesting turn of events for sure. Well done!
Date: January 17, 2021 01:37 pm Title: Chapter 10
BT!! You can’t leave it like that! Ughhhhhh...
Also, when you’re done with this, can you please print and bind it and send it to my house so I can enjoy it for the rest of time? Because it’s SO good and well-written and I get so excited every time you update. It has the mystery, the intrigue, and it’s topped off with the *perfect* Jim and Pam moments and I’m in love. Never stop, lady.
Date: January 06, 2021 12:33 pm Title: Chapter 9
I don't know what I feel exactly about this chapter. It's beautiful. It made me cry. After reading this chapter, I feel an urge to write something good, and at the same time — never touch my keyboard again.
I'm just overwhelmed at the moment, and I'm thankful to you for that. Can't wait to read the continuation!
Date: January 05, 2021 11:07 pm Title: Chapter 9
Reviewing both chapters here.
Having ALL the characters coming into the fray was a damn treat. The various reactions, Dwight's resourcefulness, Michael being Michael, it was just so good. Your writing continues to be exquisite, painting a word picture I can perfectly visualize in my head. And Devon being the driver? Great touch.
SCHRUPERT ALLIANCE. What a fantastic way to get these two wise-asses to work together. They make an awesome pair and it'll be great seeing them do more for solving the mystery.
I'm not really comfortable writing or discussing explicit sexual content, but I will say the passage was extremely well-written, and a true demonstration of their love. And hell yeah to the Fancy Bees! She's earned her happiness.
I have a new guess. Not Toby (too obvious) nor Michael (quite a reach on my part)... but JIM. Why? Because of these two sentences:
"She was part of one of the most defining moments of his life, if not the very most. He’d think of her every day until his very last one."
These two sentences, while innocuous enough, imply that JAM somehow won't end up together in this. Now one could think of Pam since it was explicitly written, but I can't help but believe her. She's so meek and only now is she speaking her mind. But Jim? Throughout this entire story, Pam has taken over every facet of his life. He cannot focus on the story because of her. And he wants nothing more than to provide for her. How would he do that? Make it big in journalism. How would he do *that*? By publishing a story so big it'll rocket-launch his career. And murder SELLS, especially with a group of people who both had ties to and/or despised the victim. Why doesn't he speak to Pam? Guilt. Why is he so shaken by Todd's body? Guilt. Hell, maybe *he* may have been the one to trap them there, to begin with! And Roy? Well, he's a GONER.
As much as JAM is an enthralling representation of love (hence this site's existence), love can make people do downright crazy things. And if my suspicions are correct, this story will crescendo into probably one of the MOST DOWNER ENDINGS I've ever read on this site.
Good Lord, I'm not a patient person, and this is messing with me in the best way. Hopefully, a resolution comes sooner rather than later. Well done!
Date: January 05, 2021 10:34 pm Title: Chapter 9
So while I love a lot (everything) about this story; my absolute favorite moment is in this chapter and it has everything to do with Jim being all “oh I’m so manly, I don’t want to hurt/ruin you” and Pam literally digging her heels in and telling him to get on with it already.
That’s just... I love it, this whole story, and especially This Pam so much. Even if she’s probably maybe kind of definitely a murderer.
Date: January 05, 2021 10:04 pm Title: Chapter 9
That was one of the most exquisite sex scenes I've ever read on this site. I mean, just everything about it was perfect. The mood lighting, their desire for each other, the way they yield and push each other. Perfect, simply simply perfect.
Jim's letting Pam in now. I'm hopeful that means she's clear of suspicion, but let's face it as of right now the only one we know for 100% sure that didn't do it, is Jim.
Still with detective Dwight on one side and the Pam on the other side, seems like a good team to have to start unravel all of this.
By the way, did I mention how good that sex scene was? I just wanted to be clear. Par excellance. Damn I wish I still had some jellybeans to give this chapter.
Date: January 05, 2021 09:06 pm Title: Chapter 9
I love this moment of them reaching for each other at the same time. Also: "They looked so large against her delicate features and he was worried for a minute that she was breakable. That the intensity of how he felt would break her. That if she didn’t share in that intensity, it would break him." Wow.
I love the big speech and the big level-up in character from Pam here. This has been a shaking experience for her, and she's reacting accordingly.
I thought it was a good call to work some references to the sexual standards of the time into this very hot sex scene - this means something very different than it would for 2007 Jim and Pam, who had, you know, legal access to some things and were expected to have done other things.
Also, again: this is a great development in a love story set during a murder investigation. But this is also exactly what Pam would do in this situation if she WAS the murderer - seduce the investigator and then join the investigation. I've still got my eye on that Beesly character.
Date: January 05, 2021 08:56 pm Title: Chapter 8
And it all hits the fan. Very interesting way to get it so that they're all stuck at the house and unable to contact the authorities. I'm sure it was Packer's original intent to do as was described. Cut everyone off from their base of support.
The reactions of everyone seems very much in keeping. Excellent job with getting a lot of reactions for the initial news. Especially the shell sock Pam must feel.
I'm right there with Jim in the boat. You did a great job with all those descriptions. Likewise the team-up with Dwight. That could prove most interesting. Dwight's interesting brand of logic with this Jim's sense of ferreting out a story.
Then there at the end. Pam just barging into his room. Right in the middle of all his conflicting thoughts. And then what do you do? The 27 Seconds! Superb just superb. Even better that he lets he in and they lay together.