Dear Sis:

Oh, man, this is better than soap operas! So much drama at Dunder-Mifflin! Let me see if I can get it all down before the postman comes.

Okay, first, Karen got dumped. I was completely surprised. I didn't think Jim would be such a jerk, but apparently they both went to New York to interview for this big time job in the corporate headquarters. Not only did Jim turn it down, but he told Karen they were over! And drove all the way back to Scranton in less than two hours (wow, he must have been flying low!) to walk in and ask Pam out (which is the little scene I saw last week).

Before I forget, yes, he's good looking, in a kind of ordinary way. Does that make sense? He's very tall, kind of skinny, and dresses like Uncle Louis. Very bland. But he's got very expressive eyes (hazel) and a fantastic smile, and a real sense of humor. Which he needs, to put up with the shit that he gets from the Dwight guy. Oh, and Pam. She's medium tall, pretty but doesn't glam up at all. Dark blonde hair, very curly, pulled back in a half-ponytail like you used to wear in high school. I think she's in her mid-twenties. If you look close you can see she's got a good figure, but she's not flaunting it. You can tell I like her because she's such a genuinely nice person. I feel a little protective of her. I worry that this Jim guy may be a heartbreaker who goes through women like a dose of salts. If he hurts her, I'll put laxative in his coffee.

Oh, and Michael turned down the job, too. Turns out his girlfriend was not only his boss, but he was interviewing for her job and didn't know it! When he found out, he pulled his name from consideration (which I thought was only right), but then they fired his boss anyway and she had some kind of meltdown. Everyone was gossiping about it the next day.

So who got the job? Jim turned it down, Michael turned it down, and Karen stayed in New York. She got the job, right? I have no idea.

I'll write more soon. Here's another check for you, and one for Mom. Please get her something nice for her birthday. I'll call her, of course.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

What cute pictures! Thanks for sending them along. I can't believe how tall the girls are! I like Danielle's haircut; now I can see those pretty blue eyes at last! I loved the picture of Mom blowing out the birthday cake candles with her grand-daughters. I put that up on the wall of my bedroom. And the slippers were a perfect gift; thanks for getting them on my behalf. Did Mom get my card?

I got tested for drugs today. I was leaving the apartment to get to work and my PO showed up with a drug testing lady and I had to pee in front of her. I hate that, but if it keeps me out of the can I'll live with it. Of course I tested clean. I haven't even had a beer since I got out. I think my PO was actually disappointed.

Anyway, to answer your questions. Karen is about medium height, with pretty mocha-colored skin. She's Italian, maybe that's what they call olive skin? Anyway, she's shorter than Pam and has dark shoulder length hair. She's a saleswoman, and dresses very professionally (although I think she needs a little more color). Dwight looks shorter than Jim but he's actually the same height; I think he slumps a little. He frowns a lot, wears glasses, parts his hair in the middle and wears the most God-awful mustard colored suits and shirts you ever saw. But you'd love his car--a vintage Trans Am like Buddy used to drive. Yeah, you wanted to be reminded of your old boyfriend, hee hee!

Okay, it looks like Jim's little incursion into the interview last week was to ask Pam out on a date! Boy moves fast, I tell you. Karen's tears weren't even dry on his sleeve and he's putting the moves on the receptionist. I said I was worried about Pam, but I'm worried about Karen, too. On Friday, she came in looking like death warmed over. She wouldn't meet anyone's eye, and hers looked swollen and puffy like she'd been crying. When I went over to empty her trash, it was full of balled-up tissues. She answered the phone while I was there, and her voice sounded hoarse, too. She's a nice girl; I can't believe that asshole Jim just broke up with her like that.

However, Pam looked like she'd just celebrated Christmas and her birthday and the Fourth of July all at once. She positively glowed all day long. Must have been some date, because Jim was practically incoherent. When I was watering the plant next to his desk, he went through four customer calls and didn't make a lick of sense on a single one. He finally told each one he'd call back tomorrow. I don't think his tongue was working. He wouldn't look at Karen, but I caught a glimpse of his monitor and it looked like they were doing that Instant Message thing. That's how I know he and Pam had a date, because I caught the tail end of one message from her about how "last night was awesome!" Well, there's no doubting the boy is good looking, and I hope he at least showed her a good time (nudge nudge wink wink).

And while all this Pam and Jim and Karen stuff is going on, Michael (the boss, remember?) comes out of his office in tears (yes, a grown man) to announce that Ryan got the job in New York and he is now their "overlord". Who is Ryan? I'd run into him once or twice, when I was cleaning the annex. Nice enough guy, kind of stand-offish, though. Turns out he was dating the girl who shared his cubicle, and he dumped her flat as soon as he took the job! This is crazy! So, in case you're confused, here's how it stands:

Michael (the boss) is having an affair with his (lady) boss. But his boss got fired and now a guy who works for him (Ryan) is going to be his boss. Jim was dating Karen and applied for the job that is now Ryan's. He dumped both the job and the girl and asked Pam the receptionist out. Any one of these would be enough drama for a month at any other place I've worked, but this all happened on the same day! Crazy, I tell you.

Georgia and I are going to a movie tonight. I'll write again soon.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I appreciate the offer, but I can't leave the Scranton area without my PO's permission or permission from the court, so I'll pass on Labor Day this year. Next year, maybe? I'll be talking to my PO about Thanksgiving, though. Cross your fingers.

And thanks for finding the Grass Roots album! Wow, those were the days, hey? Remember when we used to go skinnydipping with Aggie and Jack? I wonder where they are these days. Didn't Jack go to Penn State? Anyway, if I can work up the courage, I'll ask Creed for an autograph. It's funny, he's pretty oblivious to most of what goes on here. The whole Jim/Pam/Karen meltdown, the announcement that Ryan is taking over Michael's boss' job, it just rolled right past him. However, he said hi to me yesterday! I was emptying out his trash can and he said hello. I didn't say anything, I was too star struck or something. Yes, at my age. Embarrassing.

So anyway, I'm glad you're not bored with all this Dunder-Mifflin drama. Hah hah. There's more weirdness. I told you that the building has a refrigeration company. It's the biggest refrigeration company in Scranton, Vance Refrigeration. Turns out that one of the saleswomen in Dunder-Mifflin is Mrs. Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. She's a nice gal, a little younger than me, but sharp. She doesn't miss much, but she doesn't talk much. And she likes to gossip! I overheard her on the phone to her husband, running down all the details of the Jim/Karen/Pam thing. I got busy dusting imaginary dust on a file cabinet and listened in, so here's the lowdown.

It seems that Pam used to be engaged to some guy in the warehouse, but just before they were going to get married, she broke it off. There were rumors that Jim had a crush on her, and Phyllis thinks something went down before the wedding, because all of a sudden Jim transfers away from Scranton, shocking the hell out of everyone! He transferred to another branch office Connecticut, which seems to be where he met Karen, who was working there.

I swear I need to put together a spreadsheet on these people. "Days of Our Lives" is not this complicated!

Phyllis mentioned a merger, so it looks like Jim got transferred back here and brought his girlfriend. That must have been interesting! And I think Andy came, too (Guy drives me nuts humming all the time.) So now Jim is back in Scranton, his "crush" is no longer engaged, but he's got Karen. I'm starting to feel a little sympathy for the guy. It could not have been easy for any of these folks. And remember that beach party I told you about, the day before Jim and Karen and Michael went off to interview for the job none of them got? Phyllis said something about Pam's "speech to Jim in front of everybody". Oh, boy. I'd love to know what that was all about! Because 24 hours later, he's ditched his Connecticut girl and is asking Pam out!

I sure wish I knew more about this stuff. Would it be rude of me to look at their desks when I'm cleaning up after hours? Yeah, it would.

Congratulations to Adam on his promotion! Tell him I'll be hitting him up for a loan soon! Hah! Kidding!

The movie with Georgia was awful. Something about a guy building an ark in suburbia. Silly. She has awful taste in movies. I wish we had a television.

Love,

Sunny