Congratulations to me! I got my 6-month token in meeting last night. I've been clean and sober for half a year, not counting the time in stir, so I get a blue poker chip! Whee! But seriously, thanks for all your support and love. It's meant everything to me. We got a new group leader, Rabbi Aaron, since Sharon is leaving to have her baby. He's an alcoholic, sober now for ten years, and very experienced. I feel comfortable with him.

I had a bit of a scare this week. My boss, Sam, got wind of my "contract" with the documentary film crew at Dunder-Mifflin, and thought I was working off the books or something. He was nice about it, but very concerned, since it's a violation of company policy. I called Dunder-Mifflin to see if I could get one of the documentary crew to talk to Sam. Pam (the receptionist) took the call and told me someone would call right back. Well, bowl me over if it wasn't Jim! He's apparently the Assistant Manager or some such. I don't know what he said to Sam, but he (Jim) must be one hell of a salesman, because Sam was fine after that. I'm so glad Pam didn't get Michael to talk to Sam, or I might be not only out of a job but back in jail. Or deported or something. There's no telling what that guy Michael will say. Anyway, I owe Pam.

I found something to do on those long bus trips to and from work. When I went into the ladies' room at Vance Refrigeration to clean yesterday, I found Phyllis (Mrs. Bob Vance) in there, sitting on the couch and knitting. I think she hangs out there to get a break from her co-workers upstairs. You know how I love handwork, so I chatted with her. She's knitting a sweater for her husband. If you'll send me the girls' measurements, I'll see if I can't get hold of some needles and yarn and make them some sweaters. What colors do they like?

Here's another check, and a discount coupon for McDonald's I found in the trash. Maybe the girls would like a Happy Meal on their Aunt Sunny.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Your card was so sweet! Thank you. I never miss a meeting. Rabbi Aaron is funny and tells jokes, but he's also very serious when he's counseling someone.

Thanks for the measurements. I think I'll try knitting a pink sweater for Danielle and a yellow one with a sunflower for Rachel. Do you think those are good choices? Let me know if they like some other colors.

More drama at Dunder-Mifflin, but not with the office workers. I got called into another meeting with the director of the camera crew that is filming there. His bosses (producers?) are not happy with the working arrangement with me. I'm not an employee of Dunder-Mifflin, so they can't interview me, and the big guys are not happy with me being on-camera. The director said he argued with them about that, because he says they've filmed pizza delivery guys and so forth. Bottom line is, they don't want me on-camera. Boo hoo. Here I was hoping to be a media star! However, they're not going to tell me to start working only at night or something (not that I would--that bus ride at night would be scary!).

Now here is the weird part. The director made a deal with me. He said he'd sign me up as a 'contractor' with the documentary film crew, if I would help them with 'research'. By 'research', he means 'going through the employees' desks, trash, file cabinets, and so forth'. Of course I said no right away, but he got on the phone to a lawyer for the film company, who explained that this is all perfectly legal. The employees of Dunder-Mifflin have all signed waivers that basically say their souls belong to the company when they're on the premises, and that they have waived any rights to privacy. Personally, I think that sucks because really, who would risk losing a good job by saying no when they ask you to sign that? But anyway, the director said that the employees are used to being asked all sorts of outrageous personal questions, and that going through their desks (not their purses and such, that is off limits) is perfectly within the law given that they've all signed waivers.

I told him I'd think about it. He's offering me a 'bonus', and promises to clear it with Sam if I say yes. What do you think I should do? On the one hand, I don't want to break the law, and on the other hand, it's really good money and I'm very curious about these people. Write me soon and let me know what you think is the right thing to do.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I can't afford a lawyer, that's for sure. My instinct is to say no to all of this, but Adam made a good point. If I get it all in writing, and get them to include something about me using my discretion about what I 'report', that might cover my ass. I have to decide soon, because this director guy is really pressing me for an answer. And you are absolutely right that no one has told me I can't drop a discreet word in the ear of each of the people who work there. I'm not sure I want to know what Kevin (he's a fat guy in Accounting, kinda creepy) keeps in his drawer.

I tried the brisket recipe you sent. It was good, but so much more than one person can eat! Thanks. Georgia is on a baking spree this week--it's all cookies, all the time. She's manic about it. I took some in to work, and the warehouse guys now are all calling me Cookie Lady. They're great guys.

No, I don't have Creed's autograph. Yet. Quit bugging me.

Mom sounded like she had a cold last time I talked to her. Is she okay?

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

I had a brainstorm yesterday--I talked to Rabbi Aaron after the meeting about what I should do about that director's request that I 'spy' for the documentary film crew. Surprise! Rabbi Aaron is, in fact, a lawyer! He was a lawyer before he hit the bottle, and it was coming out of rehab that caused him to rethink his life and enroll in rabbinical school. Anyway, he still has a law license and said he'd talk to the documentary guy. He said that first of all, I should not worry about anything found in people's wastebaskets, because that sort of thing should be fair game. He asked if the office had a paper shredder and I said yes, and he said I should specify that anything in the paper shredder is off limits. People can shred stuff they don't want to become public knowledge. I told him I could live with that if people knew I would be doing it, so that's okay. I'm still having trouble with the idea that I should be going through desks and stuff. The documentary guy is really pushing on this.

Thanks for the tip about Rachel; I'll switch her sweater color to pale green. I've already started on Danielle's; I got half a sleeve done on the bus this week. And many thanks for the almond cookie recipe. If I can make these anywhere near as good as Mom used to, the guys in the warehouse will propose to me en masse.

I ran into Phyllis in the Vance Refrigeration ladies' room again and we had a nice talk. She filled me in on the Michael/boss lady romance. Her name is Jan and Phyllis called her "Hilary Clinton" which I thought was a little disrespectful even though Phyllis didn't mean it that way. She says Jan is very beautiful, but she's a little stressed out. She was coming off a divorce and hooked up with Michael on a spur of the moment and now neither of them can let go, even though they are totally not right for each other. Phyllis said Michael told her and a couple of the other women in the office about some of the weird sex things Jan made him do (wow, I have got to spend more time in that office!) and they helped him break up with her--but then she got breast implants and now they are back together again. Some people don't know when to quit.

I'm going to another movie tonight with Georgia. I hope this one is better than the last one.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Okay, that's it, no more movie nights where Georgia gets to pick. Do NOT see "License to Wed"; it's the stupidest picture ever. Not even Robin Williams could save that mess.

Rabbi Aaron talked to the documentary director. They drew up an agreement and I signed it; I'll put in a copy for Adam to read but it's all in High Lawyer so if he understands it, he's a genius. The upshot is that I am working "on contract" for the documentary crew, and I have the same rights to interview and "research" the "subjects" (the people who work at Dunder-Mifflin) that the documentary crew does. Rabbi Aaron put in a clause that says the film crew must warn them that anything they leave in their trash cans, on their desks, or IN their desks is fair game from now on. I personally told the director I would not start looking in desks for another two weeks, to give everyone time to hide the bodies. (hah hah). Sam got a copy and shrugged and then talked to Rabbi Aaron for an hour in Hebrew over the phone and after that he said it was all fine with him. As long as the building gets cleaned.

So I am really grateful to Rabbi Aaron, who hasn't even charged me for this service. He says it's a mitzvah to help me out, and I owe him nothing. Except now I feel I have to bring cookies to every meeting. He loved the ginger snaps. Do you have Bubbe Lasky's recipe for her Pumpkin Spice cookies she used to make?

Enough of this boring stuff. I know you want the juicy gossip. None this week, although something very interesting happened. I was working in the kitchen and had to go into the supply closet. Guess what I found in there? A box of condoms. Now who is stashing condoms in the supply closet? Maybe I should start knocking before I go in, hey?

I've finished the sleeve for Danielle's sweater and have started on the other one.

Love,

Sunny