Well, like I said we were just sitting there, and then Karen came bursting out through the doors back into the lobby. She started chattering away about how Jim would not believe what just happened, and she knew Jan was crazy, but she had no idea…of course, I was trying to hear what she was saying but my inside line rang. It was David, telling me to call security up to his office right away to escort “someone” off the premises. I could hear Jan in the background, all “you don’t need to escort me out, I wouldn’t stay here for another minute if you begged.” David hung up, and I dialed down to the building security office. I tried to keep my voice low, but Jim and Karen stopped and looked at me as I requested an escort. “I told you,” Karen hissed, her eyes gleeful.

Jackson, the security guy, arrived just as Karen finished telling Jim what had happened in David’s office. According to her, she had been just finishing up her interview when Jan came barging it, Michael all skulking behind her. He’d let the cat out of the bag, I guess, and boy oh boy did that cat have claws. Jan walked right into Karen’s interview! So Karen’s sitting there while David just finally leveled with Jan- about her constantly being gone, and smoking in her office (Stephanie had told me that Jan’s office always reeked of smoke, but I’m never back there), and being in Scranton all the blessed time, and even online shopping all day- which, if I resist that temptation, surely someone with actual job responsibilities should be able to. Ms. Levinson, though, apparently started accusing David of firing her because of the boob job. Woo-boy. I almost couldn’t blame Karen for being wound-up; seriously, having a ring-side seat for all that?

Still, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Jan. I mean, to find out you’re being fired from the guy they’re interviewing to replace you? Ouch. Finally, David, Jackson, Jan, and Michael appeared through the doors, Jan clutching a box with her personal effects, her assistant Hunter trailing behind. Have I mentioned Hunter? Cute young guy, with a total “Mrs. Robinson” crush on Jan, which she has enjoyed very much, at least from appearances.

Michael had spoken to Hunter earlier in the morning, before he’d gone into his appointment. Michael had tried to send Jan some sort of horribly inappropriate message about her boobs. Hunter was properly horrified. I don’t think Jan and Hunter had actually ever done the deed, if you know what I’m saying, but then again, I had no idea she was nearly as nuts as she turned out to be, so…what do I know?

Speaking of Jan being nuts, she chose this moment to demonstrate it. She gave Hunter an awkward hug (and enjoyed it, from the angle where I was sitting) and wished him luck with his band. She told him not to let “them” change him (I was cringing). And then she dropped a bunch of her stuff.

So you’ve got Jan, Michael, and Hunter all trying to pick up various knick-knacks off the floor, with David just standing there, and the security guy trying to stay out of the camera shot because he never signed the release form, and me, Jim, and Karen watching it all like it’s some sort of Greek tragedy. It was surreal. Finally Jan pulls herself together, stalks toward the door, and spits out, “So long, asshole!” to David. It was like she wanted a grand exit, but everything just got small on her. Heh, except for the boobs.

There was a moment of silence, and then things got worse. I know, right? But they did. Because…well, because Michael Scott was there. He looked at David and said he was going to take Jan home, but to let him know about the job.

David had the humanity to look a little bit uncomfortable as he tried to let Michael off easy, saying that they were going in a different direction. But Michael, poor, oblivious to social cues Michael, thought that was a good thing. He said that he had lots of ideas for new directions. Ugh. So David bit the bullet, and just said outright that Michael didn’t get the job. Bless his heart, Michael didn’t miss a beat. He said something like, “Good, because, I shouldn’t take my girlfriend's job. That's not being a good boyfriend. So, I withdraw my name from consideration.” My mouth was hanging open, and I totally ignored the phone ringing. Between the fact that Jan and Michael had gotten back together (When? How? Why?), and Michael withdrawing his name after he’d been eliminated…seriously, I’d have been speechless even if I had picked up the phone, so there was no point.

David “accepted” Michael’s withdrawal, and Michael left, giving both Jim and Karen a recommendation on his way out. I took a second to breathe as David turned to the two remaining candidates. He told Jim that he’d be with him shortly, but he had some “HR paperwork” to fill out. Yeah, no kidding. He left the lobby, shaking his head slightly.

I was just about to start listening to voice mails (I’d missed two calls during the Jan and Michael show), when something in Karen’s expression caught my eye. She made some comment about Jan being self-destructive (which, again, no kidding). Jim agreed, but said he felt sorry for Jan. But Karen was all, “Don’t! She’s nuts!” Yeah, that was about it for me with that girl. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know I called Jan “nuts” myself about two minutes ago, but I also feel sorry for her. I was stunned by her melt-down, not…amused.

Then, things got a little bit intriguing. Jim had sort of laughed along with Karen about Jan, but he almost immediately told her that she didn’t have to wait around for his interview if she didn’t want to. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but it totally felt like, “we’re not on the same page, and I don’t care if you stay or go,” to me. And then, which I could not believe, Karen agreed to go! She said she’d already made tentative plans! Again, I was probably projecting my own feelings onto the situation, but it didn’t seem like Jim was too sorry to see her leave. I was actually about to strike up a conversation with him, just to see if I could tell if I was right or not, but then the phone rang. He gave me a really weird look as I answered the phone- like a wistful half-smile. At the time, I thought maybe he found my voice soothing after all the weirdness of the morning.

So that mess was definitely the crescendo of my day, but the show wasn't over quite yet.