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Author's Chapter Notes:
The office workers talk about Earth Day in a series of Talking Heads.

Pam Beesly

Last week Jim said he was going to propose to me, and he keeps almost doing it. And I've gotten him back a few times, too. It's fun. I hope he doesn't propose today, though, because I don't want to share the spotlight with Mother Nature. Kidding, it's fine. Today would be fine.

 

Dwight Schrute

I don't celebrate Earth Day. As a farmer, I have a day-to-day relationship with the Earth. I till the soil, I take care of it. If anything, Earth should throw a Dwight Day.

 

Oscar Martinez

I don't know what Michael has in store for Earth day this year, but I saw him with big sacks of potting soil. Maybe he thinks it's dirt day.

 

Andy Bernard

Shouldn't every day be Earth Day, really? We should treat mother Gaia with honor and dignity. Angela hates that sort of thing, but other chicks dig it, so...I'm hedging my bets.

 

Darryl Philbin

I went to an Earth Day concert once. That was fun, I guess. I don't know. It's one of those made-up holidays, isn't it?

 

Phyllis Vance

My first Earth Day with Bobby, he got me a really nice globe. I thought he was sweet to give me a present. And then he gave me a ring and told me to pick out a spot on the globe for our honeymoon. I picked Tahiti. I love Earth Day.

 

Angela Martin

I don't celebrate Earth Day. I don't like how it falls on different days of the week every year. How can you plan for things like that?

 

Kevin Malone

A bunch of the comics in the paper today are about Earth Day, like a coincidence. It is so cool.

 

Toby Flenderson

Last year, Michael celebrated it by having us all play the part of something in nature for the day. He gave me "the comet that destroys the world." It was surprisingly cathartic.

 

Kelly Kapoor

It's kind of stupid. It's like Valentine's Day for rocks and trees. But I totally think we should get the day off for it.

 

Creed Bratton

Earth Day is when hippie chicks celebrate things that are old and natural. Good times for Brother Creed.

 

Michael Scott

So, I looked it up on Wikipedia, best thing ever, and I found out that Earth Day was the idea of a man named Gaylord Nelson. So all day I've been saluting Oscar and calling him Admiral Gaylord Nelson. Isn't that hilarious? Also, I totally got Dwight with "A gaylord says ‘what?'"

 

Stanley Hudson

I don't care.

 

Meredith Palmer

I always get a lot of crap about my van, like I'm killing the environment. But it has a lot of space and I have kids. It's not like I can bring men home, you know? I need that van.

 

Jim Halpert

Michael makes a big deal out of Earth Day because he feels guilty. As a paper company we make our living chopping down trees and grinding them up to make things like index cards and coffee filters. And party hats to celebrate Earth Day.

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.



Swedge is the author of 16 other stories.
Too Late Kev is the author of 22 other stories.
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This story is part of the series, Holiday: Just One Day Out Of Life. The previous story in the series is Passover: Blame it on the Manischewitz.

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