Disclaimer: Nothing's ever mine...
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"If you left here, I would seriously blow my brains out." Then she holds her hands out like, "Come on, it's so obvious, isn't it?"
I think maybe she means it and I still will always want to kiss her. She'll go home to someone else tonight, but I think we both know about what she and I have. She bends her fingers a little and acts nervously, shrugging helplessly, and she just knows. She has to. I give in, and I know then it's because if I ever had to leave her, I'd blow my brains out, too.
"Hey, is... Do you think Roy's going to want to--"
"Oh!" Pam starts, juggling her purse and coat in the lobby, trying to find out how to put her arms in the sleeves. "I--"
I wait for her answer, taking her coat from her and holding it up for her to put on without thinking.
She holds still for a second, noticing what I'm doing. She slinks one arm all the way in, puts the purse in the other hand and shakes her head. "Um, no, I asked him, he's not coming."
"When did you..." I trail off, pointing towards the office, and I feel stupid asking, but it's the first thought that comes into my head. When would she have called him, I've been with her every second since Devon left the building in a huff.
She licks her lips and looks at my hand that's gesturing towards upstairs. "Oh, I texted him?"
I raise my eyebrows and nod. "Ah, okay. Ride then?"
"Sure," she nods.
It's only quiet in the car for the first five minutes, but after that we're back to our normal selves. I have to admit, I've missed her laughing more than I thought I had. Her smile is still a little off.
"Are you okay?" I ask, glancing over at her as we slide through the damp streets.
"Hmm?" she murmurs with a smile, jerking her head. "Yeah, why?"
"Just wondering," I shrug.
I see her chest heave in an apprehensiveness I've never seen from her before. "This is going to sound weird... You'd never leave right? You'd never leave... you're not leaving, right?"
I breathe out a short laugh. "Huh?"
"You'd never leave?"
She's leaving out something, or at least I wish she was. She'd make my day if she asked me never to leave her. And I wouldn't.
"Well," I sigh evenly, "eventually I will. Dunder-Mifflin, you mean, right?" Stupid, what else would she mean? Quit being transparent.
"Yeah," she says just as evenly.
"Yeah, I don't know, I don't want to be there forever."
"Yeah."
We sound so stupid around each other sometimes, I want to hold her hand for that. You make me mess up my words, I feel like my mouth should be on yours; don't you think so? The car slows at a yellow light that I could've easily made it through. I want more time like this, more time just the two of us.
"Not any time soon, Pam. I'm not going to Maryland or anything." I pick at the sticker my nephew put on the dashboard. It's leaving that sticky stuff behind, so I smooth it back over, the corner flipping back a lost cause. "You're stuck with me for a while." What a copout.
She beams, but doesn't look at me, and that big smile is condensed into a grin with her lips rolled in and under her teeth.
"Good."
That makes me way more hopeful than it should, but as I pull into the parking lot at Poor Richard's, I feel a small weight off my shoulders. If nothing else, she's happy to be with me here and right now. I might as well enjoy that. We're going to have drinks and she'll be a little flirty again, maybe. I try to tell myself to just enjoy it. One day she'll be married and this will be all you ever had. That thought breaks my heart a little again, but I try and shake it off as I round the car to open her door.
Her smile is different, gorgeous and thanking me, when she steps out of the car.
"Watch out for your tail," I say, pointing towards the door. She smirks and shakes her body to the side to avoid catching it in the door.
She fiddles with her purse and sheds her coat to the passenger seat, not wanting to bother with it inside. She tucks something into her purse and zips it shut. I open my mouth to say something to her about pink drinks, but it's lost when she snakes her hand into mine.
What? We have absolutely zero, zilch, nothing in our systems yet, and she's already touching me?
She yanks on my hand and I turn toward her. I'll give you anything.
"I'm really, really glad you're not leaving Jim." Her eyes are almost sad but her growing smile isn't.
"Okay," I laugh, breathless and confused.
"I just wanted you to know that. For sure." She tugs on my hand for emphasis.
I nod. "Okay," I repeat.
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I know these are just the dumbest cliffhangers, but I wrote these little parts one a time, so I wanted to post it this way. =)
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali