Here’s a little one-shot – words to the wise, my fanfic skillz are pretty rusty.
The sun shines bright yellow in the cloudless sky and I watch you rush round the picnic table I set up earlier that morning in our modest square of garden. You quickly deal out paper plates and cups and then repeat your clockwise navigation of the circular wooden table. You set down a plastic knife, fork and spoon next to each plate and then you reach into the back pocket of your jeans for some napkins.
I continue to watch you from the kitchen window, my hands now still in the warm bowl of soapy water - the dirty plates forgotten. Your hair is falling into your eyes, you brush it away. It falls back again and you take a moment to smooth it behind your ears.
I love you.
You stand back from the table and anchor your hands on your hips. I know you’re wondering if there’s anything you missed. Decision made, you consult the pile of bags on the floor next to the empty play pool. You find what you’re looking for – party hats. You rip open the bag and take out one hat at a time and place it down on the table. You then swap a couple of hats over and I smile – you are alternating the colours – red hat, silver hat, green hat, gold hat.
I love you.
Shit! You’re heading this way and I’m not done. My hands go back to their task but I’m not quite fast enough. You’ve caught me, and now you’re smiling at me smiling at you.
Then you disappear from view. Now you’re here. Now you’re next to me.
“Can you fill the play pool after you’re done with the dishes?”
“Yeah.”
“Now...where did I put the jelly mould?”
“I got it out earlier – I rinsed it and put it over there on the worktop.”
“Thanks."
You move to my right. It’s not so easy to watch you now but I do my best. You’re turning out cubes of red Jell-O into a glass bowl. You bite off a small piece of one cube and offer the remainder to me. I shake my head and you pop the rest into your mouth. You smile. I smile.
Next you pour some freshly boiled water into the bowl and mix the cubes around until they dissolve and turn the water raspberry coloured. You’re pouring the liquid into the rabbit shaped mould, taking care not to overfill it. You bring the empty bowl over to me and I sink it into the warm water. I run the sponge over the smooth surfaces and then place it on the rack. You walk back over to the table.
“What’s next?”
“I need to make some sandwiches. Then blow up some balloons.”
“Well, I’m done here. I’ll go and fill the pool.”
Suddenly, you’re next to me again and I feel your arms encircle my waist and register the weight of your forehead pressing against my back. I know without you saying a word what this hug is all about. I pull my hands from the bowl and shake the water off as best I can. I turn. I reach for you and hold you close.
“I’ll go wake her in a moment. Jim, I can’t believe she’s three years old already.”
I hold you and you hold me.
I love you.
Sometimes I forget how tall you are. I remember as I watch our little girl running in circles around your long legs as you stand in the middle of the garden and try to fix the thingy on the end of the hosepipe. You’ve been at it for the best part of twenty minutes but something isn’t working. I know the sun is bothering you and that you just want to get the thing fixed already so that you can get into the shade, but when you set down the hosepipe onto the grass I know what you are going to do. You reach down and make a grab for her. She evades your clutches the first time, but not the second. She’s in your arms now and with the easiest of movements, she’s sitting on your shoulders.
I love you.
I should be cutting up sandwiches and...and...
You walk to the far end of the small garden with our daughter still perched on your shoulders. I’d hate to be up that high and my stomach turns at the thought. But our daughter is fearless. Our daughter is the very best of us. You bend at the knees so that she is level with one of the middle placed branches of the Cherry Blossom tree and I watch as her small hands disappear into the dense cluster of white-pink petals. It is our only tree and we are very proud of it.
I watch as you back away from the tree, still bending at the knees. I laugh out loud as I notice the pinkish flecks in your hair. I won’t tell you about them. You wouldn’t expect me to. You straighten up and turn back towards the house. I make a half hearted attempt to look busy as you walk back into the kitchen, our daughter now by your side.
“Mommy, I picked you a flower.”
“I saw. Thanks, CeCe.” You bend down and open your hand. The now mostly squished petals fall from her smaller hand and you wonder where on earth you can save them.
“I’m having trouble getting the hosepipe to work. I’ll try again but if I can’t fix it, I’ll fill some buckets from the sink.”
That’s what you end up doing. I finish cutting the sandwiches and with our daughter’s help, I fill bowls with fruit and some more with chips. I glance at the kitchen table and am confident that everything that needs to be done is done. You come back in to fill what must be the tenth bucket. On your way out the door again, you bend to kiss me on the cheek.
“How dare you.” I grin and you smile the smile you save just for me.
I watch you dump the water into the play pool. You look down for a few seconds before reaching into the pool. I realise that some of the petals from your hair have fallen into the water. The jig is up. You’re running your hands through your unruly hair and you smile as you discover the other petals. You tuck them into the front pocket of your jeans and I know you're wondering how you can save them.
I love you.
“Mommy, can I have strawberry ice cream with my Jell-O?”
No! Damn it! I didn’t pick up the ice cream on my way home from work yesterday. We have no ice cream. I’m hosting a kid’s birthday party without ice cream. I might just have time to get to the store. No...I don’t.
You walk in then, armed with your bucket and the knowledge that I didn’t tell you about the petals in your hair. You walk over to me slowly and I know you’re thinking of something smart to say. Not that you really have to think all that hard.
“We don’t have any ice cream.” I blurt out.
“Yeah we do.”
“Uh uh, I forgot to go to the store. How can we have a birthday party without...”
“I picked some up this morning.”
“You did?”
“I did.”
I love you.
