“OMG!! Michael just proposed to Carol. Call me ASAP as possible for details.
xoxoxo Pam”
“Fancy New Beesley” as Jim had called her last week was still a work in progress. She’d spent the last week remembering the sound of his voice and his laugh. Not that she’d ever forgotten, or ever would forget. It was just nice to have some new material to remember. She wanted desperately to talk to him again. But Pam as he knew her still had a say in this personality. So this was a compromise. She initiated conversation, but not really. A text message doesn’t have an awkward pause when the other person doesn’t want to be on the phone. The worst case is that it gets ignored. He’d already been ignoring her. So the way she saw it she had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
She hesitated about the ending. Would he notice? She hoped he would. He always noticed everything about her. At least he noticed before. It was no accident. Again it was indirect. She knew (hoped?) he’d ask about it and it would give her an excuse, no even better it would force her to talk about it. She wasn’t ready to bring it up on her own. Fancy New Beesley wasn’t that strong yet. He had always helped her do more than she thought she could. Surely that hadn’t all changed in six months had it?
When the text first popped up Jim desperately hoped it was Andy. The sales team at Stamford had their quarterly late night project. Andy was in charge of dinner. The last Jim heard (an hour ago) the restaurant had no idea what Andy was talking about. Well not talking so much as screaming. Jim remembered the Jell-O prank and was sorry for whoever was on the receiving end of Andy’s anger. Maybe it was Andy’s fault and he called the wrong restaurant. Maybe it was the restaurant’s fault. Neither situation helped Jim’s hunger.
The first thing Jim noticed was the end. What was she up to this time? How much had she been drinking? He had enjoyed talking to her last week. Something about how the call ended seemed odd to him. Almost in mid-sentence she had blurted out “good bye”. But when he mentioned leaving the call she was eager enough to do so. He wasn’t going to volunteer any ground. He hadn’t deliberately called her. He hadn’t pushed her to stay on the line when she cut him off mid-sentence. If she meant anything by “kisses and hugs” he was going to wait until he heard it from her. He couldn’t deny he’d thought about their call all week. But she hadn’t made an effort to get back in touch with him. At least until now.
“Alright. I’ll bite. But Beesley if you’re lying to me about this proposal thing I’m not sure we can be friends anymore.” Jim had stepped outside to take the call. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to keep this from his co-workers. They’d never heard of Pam and certainly didn’t know the history the two of them had.
“No need to fear there Jim,” Pam replied. “Even the powers behind spontaneous dental hydroplosion couldn’t have dreamed this up. So first of all we’re all at a Diwali party that Kelly had. I think they said it’s like an Indian Halloween. Michael apparently told Carol it was a costume party. Because Indians dress differently than us it must be funny costumes right?”
“Yeah. You don’t want gookie-gookie on your work clothes Pam. Everyone knows that.” Jim laughed.
“Anyway apparently Carol decided to dress as slutty cheerleader…”
“No way! You are so pulling my leg now!”
“C’mon let me talk! If you keep interrupting and questioning me I may just quit and let you figure out the story some other way.”
“Now don’t be like that Beesley. I’ll stay quiet.”
He could already feel it happening again. He had worked so hard to get her out of his mind. He never really thought it would work. How do you forget something so deep inside you? He may as well forget his name, or forget English. They’re just as much a part of him as Pam. He figured it might be 50 years without talking to her and if they so much as bumped elbows in the nursing home during dominoes he’d be right back where he started.
“That’s better. They’ve been going out what a few months? And out of nowhere in front of a huge crowd of people he doesn’t know he decides to ask her to marry him. Maybe he had a football uniform somewhere so they could just get married in their clothes they had on?”
“That is unbelievable. Pam you’ve outdone yourself this time. You’ve got to get footage of this somehow. Surely someone was recording, or maybe Kelly got it on her cell phone.”
“Well I told you it was good.” She paused. He hadn’t taken the bait yet. She thought for sure he’d ditch the story as good as it was and go straight for that signature. Was he ignoring it?
“Hey totally switching gears here. I’m getting started on my Christmas card list and I’m guessing Corporate would frown on me just throwing it in the internal mail to you.”
“Yeah that’s valuable space for reminders about what our health care plan doesn’t cover. And other creative ways for us to use up our product rather than sell it. It’s 2000 Broad Pkwy #3, Stamford, CT 06902.”
“Why did it take you so long to talk to me Jim? I mean last week you weren’t even trying to talk to me when you called. And even tonight I had to text you to get you to call me with possibly the greatest story ever told – no offense to Jesus or anything. You knew I called off the wedding right? I called it off because of you. There were a lot of reasons not to be with Roy. But none of those mattered until I met you. And now you’re in Stamford and that’s cool. Whatever. The point is I miss hanging out with you. You were my best friend and now things are just weird.”
“Yeah I knew. Look Pam the reason I moved away was I wanted to be…not there.”
“I know.”
To Andy: Hey man something came up. Family situation. Have to leave now. Tell Karen sorry. Hope to be in tomorrow. Save leftovers!
“So I’m surprised you didn’t start with the most interesting piece of my text.” She hoped if she dangled the line out there again she could get him to bring it up.
“Um did you send a second message? Cause the one I got was pretty front loaded with its story. Though I did laugh at ‘ASAP as possible’. He really said that didn’t he?” Jim knew what she was talking about. And he had to admit her actually (even if indirectly) bringing it up started to make him think there was something to it. She’d just said she wished he would come back How many times had he started down that same road? She kissed him at Chili’s. They had dinner by candlelight on the roof. She kissed him back on Casino Night. He hated himself for it, but as a manner of keeping his sanity he wasn’t walking off that ledge this time. The fall had left him too hurt to consider it again.
Ok so he’s going to make me come out and say it. That’s fair enough. Come on Pam. You’ve already come this far. He’s surely thinking it too.
“Well believe it or not I haven’t made that my personal signature. It’s not a TTFN or TTYL that you can just throw around any time. I had a great time talking to you last week. The most fun I’ve had since you left. So even if phone calls are all I can have now I want that. I don’t know the conversion rate for text kisses to real ones. I must’ve missed that lesson in health class. So since you’re not here I figured the next best thing was that I owed you two from that night. And then one more to grow on. Like a birthday spanking. Only hopefully less painful. To clear the air so we can move forward.”
“Well that depends. Can people see a digital hickey? Because I think I’ve got one here on my neck. Hey Pam can you hold on just a minute?”
“Ok sorry about that Pam. We’re still here at work doing a quarterly sales thing and the guy getting the food had a question. Uh let’s see. I was pondering a virtual makeup kit so I don’t have to explain myself in the morning. By the way what’s the address for you so I don’t have to send the bill and arouse any suspicion there with Michael and Dwight. After this fiasco you know he’ll be on the warpath.”
Jim had actually been on the way to his car since she’d said she called off her wedding for him. She said she had to send digital kisses since he wasn’t there. The first statement could’ve been a metaphor. But he didn’t think so. There’s no way the second one could be could it? He couldn’t let this drag out any longer. He was heading to Scranton to call her bluff.
This was a disaster last time. Not only did he lose his chips and a chance at a mini-fridge in gambling against her, but in what some might argue was an even bigger deal he’d gambled on her and lost more than a handy way to make his jello molds without leaving the desk. To be honest he expected the same again. Maybe Fancy New Beesley would follow through on this. Two hours one way was a small price to pay to get this over with. Either she had changed, or she’d chicken out again. Tell him she was only talking about coming back as a friend. He wouldn’t have to worry about it again after tonight. He couldn’t possibly see recovering a third time. But he knew, maybe somewhere in a part of him that he couldn’t get to, that yes he would be back a fourth, fifth, tenth time if that’s what it took.
“Oh yeah. Thanks for that. The last thing I need is someone sending me bills for makeup. ‘Hey did you hear Pam broke off the wedding to try girls?’ Yeah no thanks! If you can get the letter by my butler send it to 3117 Linden Ln, Apt 201, Scranton, PA 18510.”
“It turns out the ratio is 100 to 1 Pam. Man the internet is wonderful isn’t it? I think you should get cracking. Should I go ahead and let you go so you can get started?”
NO NO NO NO NO! “No way,” she winced, knowing that sounded way too desperate. Got to cover quickly. “I mean I have to keep an assignment for tomorrow that I can work on between reloading Michael’s ice cream and movies.”
So far he’s still on the line. That’s good. He’s joking about it. Is that good or bad?
“Ah yes you’ll have one of those days. Well Beesley at least it’s a Friday. Gut through eight hours and you’ll have some time to recover. Assuming he doesn’t pop the question with you too!”
“Jim can I ask you a question?”
“Oh God you’re not going to double up on Michael’s proposals are you? Hate to break it to you Pam, but I’m not dressed as a Spartan Will Ferrell so this won’t count.”
She was embarrassed at how close in a way he was. “Ha! I think you’d wear that costume on your own if you thought it would improve your chances any.” That’s right. Keep it light. Keep him laughing. “No I wanted to know how long you’d known what you felt before you told me on Casino Night.”
“Wow. Well it’s hard to say exactly. Remember the story from the Party Boat about how I had a crush on you when I first started? I mean a crush isn’t the same thing as that. I don’t know. Guessing I’d say maybe Diversity Day? Yeah that sounds about right. Why did you want to know Pam?”
“I kind of thought so. It was when I fell asleep on your shoulder right?”
Jim blushed. “Yeah that was the moment I was thinking of too. You were just so at peace and it seemed so natural for you to be there with me. It really was only a minute or two that you were asleep after everyone left. I don’t know if you thought maybe it’d been an hour and I was a creep who didn’t bother to wake you up. But it felt like ages.”
“Oh that’s great. So a minute or two with me was an eternity?”
“That’s not what I meant. It’s weird. Sometimes the best moments disappear before you know they’re there. I think I knew once you woke up you were going back to your desk, and going back to him that night. So I took as much in as I could as quickly as I could. Your perfume, the smell of your hair, the lotion on your skin. It’s still in my head two years later. It’ll be here 20 years from now too.”
“So you knew for a full year. You kept on pretending to just be my friend. I mean it was the wedding that finally forced your hand right? But you had so many other chances. We sat out on the deck freezing on the Party Boat when not five minutes after finally setting a wedding date Roy wanted nothing more than to drink with his friends. You knew I’d want him out there, but I came to you. And you didn’t say a thing. You stared at me when you were jinxed and I saw your face drop when I told you that you could tell me anything. I meant it. I hoped you’d say something then. I wouldn’t even have punched you – which I would’ve been totally within the rules of jinx to do - if you’d said that.”
“Pam it’s not exactly an easy thing to throw out there. You were engaged and had known the guy for 10 years. I kept hoping you’d end it on your own. I tried in my little way to make you see you didn’t have to stay with him. On Casino Night I knew I’d already taken this job. I was leaving. And I couldn’t leave without knowing for sure.”
“So you got a whole year to figure out that you loved me and I got five seconds? Oh crap!”
Jim heard tires squeal.
“Pam are you ok? Wait are you driving?
The truth was she had been driving. She’d started when he first called her back. That was close to an hour ago.
“Oh yeah. I’ve got it on the car speakers. Some jerk forgot that just because I’m a woman my car doesn’t disappear from the lane next to his even if the car in front of him isn’t going fast enough for his taste. The party ended a few minutes ago. No more denied engagements to report. It was a little way out so I’ve still got some more driving to get back home.”
“Pam you had to know before I told you how I felt. You had to know how you felt.”
“I wondered. I had wondered since we first learned of the great Michael Scarn. But like you said I had a fiancée that I’d dated for 10 years. He’s the only guy I’ve ever dated. You weren’t attached and it took a year to face what you knew. Try to see it from my point of view. I loved Roy. So the part of me that I thought loved you had to be walled off. Why would I break Roy’s heart only to find out I was wrong and you really were just my friend? You may have lost pride when you thought I told you no. I’d have lost a man I knew and loved for 10 years. Why couldn’t you give me more than five minutes? Do you know how hard it is to call off a wedding? And when I looked over to your desk to talk to you about it I got “fire guy” instead.
“I hadn’t thought of any of it that way. I’m really sorry Beesley. I was so caught up in my side of it. I didn’t think about your angle. I guess I just figured you were waiting for me to say it and you’d jump at the chance. You said I thought you told me no. You did say no. I just couldn’t handle being second anymore. Well what do we do now? You’re in Scranton and I’m in Stamford.”
“I never said I didn’t feel the same way you did. Why did you think you were second? I said I can’t. I just needed some help to be able to do it. If I didn’t feel the same way why would I have kissed you back? I was trying to tell you to keep believing in me. Just a little while longer. You’d already lasted so long I thought for sure you’d see it out.”
A horn honked behind Jim as he’d slowed way under the speed limit when he thought of Pam facing the stress of the breakup without him.
“Jim I thought you were at your branch meeting. What was that?”
Crap. I haven’t even gotten half way there yet. What if she puts me off? It’s not too late to turn around. Make up some story about having to get dinner since Andy was lifetime banned from the restaurant. No. I’ve got to see this through.
“Right. Well when I put you on hold a while ago that wasn’t to tell Andy about the food. That was to tell him I was leaving. For the record if you end up in court about this I’m having a family emergency and am on my way to Scranton to talk to my family about it.”
“Yeah God forbid you guys have a Dwight that will demand doctors bills and x-rays..”
“No Pam another office with a Dwight in it is too much for the universe to handle. Still the new guy turns up missing on a Friday with some “emergency” and eyebrows raise even if you don’t have a volunteer sheriff deputy on staff.”
“Jim I thought your closest brother was in Philadelphia.”
Stupid. She realized he must be talking about her. “You’re in Scranton. Or at least he thinks you are. You’re his family.” As the wheels turned both on the road and in her head she realized if he drives to Scranton and she drives to Stamford this will be a new comedic low in missed opportunities. Even for them.
“Jim where are you now?”
“Just west of Monroe, NY.”
“Does the next exit have a run down gas station?”
“Yeah. How did you know that?”
“I’m just east of Monroe, NY and saw the same exit sign.”
“A little overdressed when some came as trampy cheerleaders aren’t you Beesley?”
“Hey I said slutty cheerleaders, not trampy.”
Without even taking the time to end the call they needed only about three more seconds to meet up. A couple of minutes later he got a word in.
“That’s one of the two you owed me.”
She blushed. “Well Ben Franklin said neither a borrower nor lender be. So please accept repayment with interest.”
“Who are you and what did you do with Pam?”
“Michael inspired me. I left the moment you called me. I figured if he can ask a girl to marry him that he’s only known for a few months I can ask the guy I’ve loved for years for another chance.”
“How can I deny the very thing I want you to give me. I’m sorry we’ve wasted six months. If I’d just been a little more patient think of where we’d be now.”
“Jim we still have all the time in the world. If it took fifty years before I cornered you in the nursing home at the domino table only to have the last half hour of your life I’d have waited until then. What I care about now is we’re here. Even if here is a gas station in the dark in rural New York. Now before you get too cozy I do reasonably expect some of our time not to be spent near run down windshield cleaners and overpriced, stale chips. Some of the time yes. But not all of it!”
“Well that’s a tall order Pam. But you’re in luck. It just so happens I’ve been able to use the last six months coming up with a good two or three better places to take you than a gas station. So it’d be no more often than weekly that we’d spend the day here. Did you actually just mention cornering me in the nursing home? I’m totally not making this up (By the way isn’t that the worst way to start a story Beesley? It begs the question like nothing else) but one of the first things I thought when I called you back tonight was that even if I didn’t see you for fifty years it would only take one touch, one encounter and I’d be right back where I started with you. I hope you realize what you’re in for now. Would you believe Michael’s why I’m here too. On the boat he told me to never give up. Pam I wanted to after the Casino Night. That’s why I didn’t call you after I found out about the broken wedding. I couldn’t see getting in again. But I’m addicted. It only took one time to hear your voice again. So someday when we tell our kids about getting together we actually have to mention Michael? That hardly seems fair to the psyche of a child to subject them to that trauma.”
“Let’s not worry about that now. First we’ve got to figure out which family member of yours had an emergency. And how they’re going to get better by Monday.”
“Well it was their heart obviously Beesley. But they’re much better now. I mean it was hardly spontaneous dental hydroplosion.”
Story Notes:
This is my first try at this. So be at least a little kind if you choose to review. Spoilers through Diwali.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
rahenson1 is the author of 2 other stories.
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This story is part of the series, If only. The next story in the series is Back From Vacation.
