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Originally posted on 22 October 2020

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“I mean, why would she even consider someone like that?”

It’s 8:38 pm and Pam’s confiding in Jim about her cousin, yet again, condemning her for her choice in romantic partners, yet again.  Which makes sense, considering Dwight was one of her flings.

“Pam, you know how Isabel is.”

“I mean yeah, but this guy’s just… his first marriage was a shotgun wedding, Jim.  Like how the hell does she expect him to—”

“Pam, can we… can we please just watch the show, please?” he expresses with exasperation.  He will forever regret this action.

And Pam reveals why, “Oh, I’m sorry, am I bothering you?”

Oh, God.  “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Oh no no no, I’m sorry that me talking about my family is interrupting you watching an episode of .F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that you’ve already seen.”

“Look, let’s talk about Isa—”

“No worries, Jim, I’ll go take a shower and I won’t be bothering you anymore with my incessant talking.”

It’s taken them a year, but it’s finally arrived: the silent treatment.

“Pam come on, don’t be like that!” he shouts.  And the door slams shut.  Way to go, Halpert, you idiot.

Eventually, they both get ready to bed.  Not a word was even whispered.

Her back is to him as he scooches to spoon her.  “I love you,” he whispers and kisses her cheek.  She doesn’t respond.  She’s not kicking him away, so that’s something at least.

The next morning, they get ready for work, him constantly trying to spark a conversation and not getting anything in response.  His last attempt is “Do you need help with the stroller?”  She just gives it to him and walks to the passenger seat.  As he gets into the driver’s seat, he realizes it’s pointless.  She’s being ridiculous, anyhow.

Cece is dropped off at Helene’s, Jim giving her the stroller and Pam giving her Cece.  Helene notices that they keep addressing her and not each other.  When they get back in the car, Jim says “That little girl’s something else, isn’t she?” with a smile, which is met with a curt “Mm.”

This is gonna be a long day.

They walk into work, just going through the motions, and out walks Michael with a cold sore on his lip.  Figures Pam would rather talk to him about what’s growing on his face than to Jim about literally anything else right now.

In the break room, Pam and Toby are discussing a show and having a wonderful conversation!  Maybe Jim can weevil his way into it and they can finally interact.  Instead, she greets Toby silently and shoves past Jim, walking into the annex.  Jim just silently gets something from the vending machine in an attempt to shrug the whole thing off.  Toby could cut the tension with a plastic knife.

Of course, the doc crew picks up on all of this, “So, are you guys fighting right now?”

“No,” Jim states.

“No, not at all,” Pam agrees.

He then tries to rub on her arm with his fingers.  No response.  Thanks, Pam.

Later, she’s sitting in the kitchen while Kelly is trying to open a jar of marshmallow fluff.  And in walks Jim.

“Oh, Jim!  Jim!” Kelly signals, “I’m sorry, can you please open this jar for me?  I can’t get it open.”

“Sure,” he says.  How hard is it to open a jar of fluff?

Very hard, apparently.

“Oh, and while I have you, I might as well run this by you anyway.  You know, Ryan, right?”

“Sure,” he says.  He tries so hard, SO damn hard, to get the thing open.  Because it’s Kelly.  Ugh, he’d rather hear Pam’s voice for 24 hours straight than Kelly’s for two minutes.  Hasn’t she picked up on the fact that Ryan’s a douche yet?  What’s it gonna take for her to wake up and dump him?  Those two were tailor-made for each other.

He gives in and just hands the unopened jar back to her.  He can't take any more.

And Pam can’t help but look at all of this and laugh.  Suck it, Halpert.

So, after Michael’s cold sore debacle, Andy decides that the whole office needs a lesson in Sex Education (when, in actuality, it’s about Erin).  As if both Jim and Pam’s day couldn’t get any worse.  He walks into the conference room, seeing that she’s still not in the mood to talk.

Darryl’s sitting next to her, “I guess you wanna sit here,” he says getting up.

“Oh no, it’s okay,” Jim says, sitting next to him.  Sitting next to her is only gonna make things worse; he knows she’s not gonna acknowledge him either way.

He makes his usual wisecracks.  Not a peep.

To make matters even worse, during Andy’s incompetent presentation, Erin mentions unplanned pregnancy as a ‘negative’ when it comes to unprotected sex.  Kelly and Kevin outright call Cece a mistake, and both Halperts stop that in its tracks.  Thankfully, Darryl comes to their defense; it was then labeled a ‘positive’.  At least they’re still on the same page about something.

This hell of a workday is finally over, and they head to the Outback.  Not a word out of her mouth.  Good God this was torture.  He’s so desperate at this point, he’ll do just about anything, literally anything for her to at least acknowledge him.  So, he just does the first thing that comes to mind.

He smacks her ass.

She looks at him.  Yes, please, chew me out, yell at me, just say something!

She chuckles.  Well, it’s something.

He just smiles back as they head to the car.

Once they’re buckled in, she finally relents, “So, Halpert,” she asks with a sly smile, “care to explain what the hell that was?”

THANK YOU, GOD!  “I just figured it’d get your attention.”

“It worked.”

He just sighs, “Look, I’m sorry for last night.  I was rude to you—”

“Yes, you were,” she condemns harshly.

“And I completely deserve all of what’s happened.”

“Yes, you do,” she continues, but then lets out a sigh herself, “but I’m not completely blameless either.”

“What do you mean?” he asks curiously.

“I’m sorry, I was far angrier than I should have been.  I know the last thing you wanna hear about is my family drama.  It’s just… I needed someone that would listen to me and hear me out.  Mom’s always just ‘It’ll all work out, Pam’ and God knows Penny doesn’t care, and Dad cares even less.  So I turned to you and when you said that it… set me off.”

“I never considered that,” he admits.

“You’re not a conversationalist, and I get that.  I just… I’m tired of the people I love being idiots.”

“You married an idiot, Pam,” he jokes, “that’s not gonna stop anytime soon.”

“Guess you’re right,” she shrugs with a smirk.

“I still could have handled it better.”

“I mean, yeah,” she says, “but, to be honest, I’m just done talking about all this.”

“You’d rather talk about the workday instead?” Jim asks.

“Oh dear God!” she exclaims, “The nerve of Kevin and Kelly for even suggesting—”

“Yeah, really,” he scoffs, “Like they have any room to judge our life choices.”

“Yeah, because I really need life advice from Miss Ryan Howard and Mr. Scrantonicity.”

“Oh, lest we forget Andy’s stellar presentation.”

She sighs sympathetically, “I mean, he’s trying, and I know how upset he got, but… come on.”

“I think what sealed the deal was the various pictures of genitalia.”

“Really.  They just… followed me, like the Mona Lisa.”

“Ugh,” he cringes, “Pizza was good though.”

“Yeah.”

He purses his lips, “This was a bad idea,” he says through a chuckle.

She responds with a laugh, “Yeah, it really was.”

“You wanna just… not talk until we reach your mom’s?  Together?”

She smiles brightly, “I’d like that.”  He smiles back as they hold hands, elbows resting on the armrest, in content silence.

“Hi, Cece!” Pam exclaims happily, looking down at her little one when they get to Helene’s.  Jim does the same, just as eager to see Cece’s smiling face after today’s series of unfortunate events.

“You mind taking her to the car?” Pam asks.

“Sure thing,” he responds with a kiss on her cheek, taking the baby and stroller.  She smiles.

“So,” Helene says, perceptively, “you two seem to be in a better mood.”

“Yeah,” Pam nods, “It was just a spat, no big deal.  How was the park?”

“It was wonderful,” Helene responds, “Cece had the time of her life.”

“I’m so glad,” she says genuinely.

“Ugh, the day was almost ruined when your boss showed up.”

So that’s where he and Dwight have been all day.  “Michael?”

“Yes.  You know, he thought I gave him herpes?” she scoffs, “The absolute nerve of him.”

“Well Mom, you know how Michael is.”

“He compared our relationship to an ‘indie movie’ like it was some sort of fling.  God, his delusion is unlike anything I’ve ever seen…”

She just stands there and tries to end the conversation, but she quickly realizes that she’s trapped by her own mother’s ranting.  Oh my gosh, I understand now.  I finally understand.

Jim overhears this whole thing while buckling Cece and putting the stroller away and can’t help but smirk.

“Okay bye Mom!” she says quickly, walking towards the car.

“Oh, bye honey!” Helene shouts, “I’ll call you later!”  Please don’t.

She slinks into her seat, and after she buckles in, she notices Jim looking at her with a knowing smile.

“Oh, shut up!” she playfully retorts, not even bothering to hide her own smile.

“I really missed that voice,” he responds genuinely.

She blushes and they share a chaste yet loving kiss.  They pull out of Helene’s driveway with their babbling daughter in tow.



3vasectomies is the author of 15 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 1 members. Members who liked The Silent Treatment also liked 54 other stories.
This story is part of the series, Episode Relateds. The previous story in the series is Procedure. The next story in the series is After the War.

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